Funny Little Thing
by mewriteallsparklytoo
Summary: Bella wasn't looking for love, Edward thought it was too late for him to find it again. A drabble about two people and a funny little thing called fate.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to our little collab drabble! This is _my _first fic, mewritetoo is an old pro. Thanks for reading and we hope you enjoy, Funny Little Thing.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not ours, we know this. What we do own, though, are a couple of computers, some free time and an unhealthy obsession with Twilight fanfic. **

Chapter 1 – (Word prompt from MW2) Granola

**Bella**

I'm sitting at the breakfast bar in my kitchen, looking out the window at the dreary weather outside.

Thoughts of all the shit that is waiting for me at work seep into my consciousness. The heavy weight of nerves start to settle in my stomach. Forcing down the last bite of my cereal, I ponder aloud , "Do I run,do I go back to bed? Do I run, do I go back to bed..."

_I must run._

I wonder why I even try to convince myself otherwise. I've been running for years so it' just part of my daily routine, like eating breakfast or taking a shower...I must do it.

Ten minutes later I'm sucking a stubborn piece of granola from my tooth as I hook on my sports bra. I throw on my running gear, still tugging on my damn sports bra, and head for the front door.

It's like this every morning. _Suck a piece of granola from my tooth while I hook on my sportsbra, throw on my running gear and head on out the door..._

Only today something halts my momentum. There is a little visitor on my doorstep when I try to exit the apartment.

It's orange...and a cat.

The thing looks up at me and meows. I stare down at it for a few seconds, hoping that if I keep eye contact long enough, it will get spooked and take off. It doesn't.

I step over the feline hobo and attempt to get on with my agenda, hoping the damn thing takes a hint and hits the road. _Or gets hit in the road...whichever._

"Cute cat."

I jump, spin and grab my chest at the sound of a male voice coming from behind me. At 7 A.M. in a dark deserted hallway, it is the last thing any woman wants to hear.

"Shit! Oh my God, you scared me. Motherfucking hell." I'm panting.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to startle you." His tone tells me he's genuine.

I compose myself the best I can and take a closer look at the source of the voice. Standing there, with a newspaper under his arm and one hand up in surrender, is who I assume is my new neighbor.

_Good looking guy, older_. _Maybe 35? Pajama pants and white t-shirt. _I mentally log.

I scan his face, it's friendly. Then I look up to the top of his head, at his hair...at his messy, first of the morning bed head... and smile.

He must realize what he looks like because a blush begins to appear on his cheeks. Lifting his hand higher, he furiously works to flatten out the chaos on top of his head.

_I__t's kind of cute._

I shake my head. "No, this isn't my cat. I don't do cats."

The man laughs a little and then I realize my words.

_Shit._

"No, I mean, I don't _like_ cats...I don't have a cat...this is _not _my cat."

He's still laughing... and shaking his head... and looking just, gorgeous...

"Okay." I point to the stairs. "I'm just going to..." and I start walking. " You can have the cat if you want." I offer from over my shoulder, as I put my ear buds in and start down the stairs. When I reach the landing, I turn back and look in his direction.

He's there...still watching me.

I smile and give a little wave.

He smiles and gives a little wave.

I turn back to the stairs.

I assume he turns and goes back into his apartment.

_I secretly hope he's been watching my ass though._

Linkin Park blares in my ears and I am running down the street towards another day, only today I am smiling. Why, I don't really know.

**A/N**

**Oh yes you do! Silly Bella.**

**Okay, it's MW2's turn now. Word prompt is...**

"**itchy"**

**(hee hee)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ah…..so Bella is a runner….hmmm…lots to work with…read on.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all, and will always own all that Twilight stuff…I won't say it again..it's here…the disclaimer….K?**

**I have professed my love for allthatsparkles and her brilliant mind forever now…..it still holds true.**

Chapter 2 – (Word Prompt from ATS) Itchy

**Edward**

"Good Lord does it have to be dreary every damn day?" Edward turned away from his bedroom window disgusted.

Since he had moved here from Chicago a month ago, Edward saw rain more than sun, and this was the third day in a row it had rained. A slow, steady drizzle that would piss off anybody, and it definitely put a damper in his plans for the day.

As Edward pondered how to re align his _**plan**_, he realized not much of his life had gone according to plan, and he couldn't figure out why.

Edward always had a plan, a way, a list lined up of what he wanted to accomplish and by what age or timeframe. Things shouldn't be so hard if you have a plan right?

Edward put a t-shirt on and stomped to the kitchen of his newly acquired apartment to make coffee. As he rounded the corner, the edge of the wall came between his big and second toe.

"Mother Fucker…Ouch…Shit…Damn….oh just fuckity fuck." He yelled as he hopped in place for a moment. Hobbling the rest of the way, he opened up the freezer to retrieve his Breakfast Blend by Starbucks, and watched as it fell onto the floor, busting open the bag.

"Damnit all…just …" Edward was beyond frustrated and it wasn't even seven a.m. yet. He let out a deep breath and pulled on his hair. After a solid punch to the fridge and a shake of his hand, he went for the broom and dustpan to clean up his mess.

None of the coffee was salvageable, and that meant no coffee at all unless he hit a coffee shop on the way to work today. Looking at the clock, Edward noticed he had about twenty minutes to spare if he hurried.

Edward heard the paper hit his door and finally smiled for the first time today. Opening the door, he noticed one thing…and she was beautiful. _God look at that hair with the light shining on it. I just want to wrap it around my hand and tug on it. _Edward absently scratched his arm as he bent over to get his paper.

When he straightened up, Edward was scratching harder. That's when he saw it…a cat. _Damn, she owns a cat…well shit on a stick…no getting to know her and it's probably for the best. The last woman that I was with had a cat, and she took almost everything I own._

Edward tried to push his itchy skin out of his mind as he greeted the beauty. "Cute cat." _not really, but I'll be nice. _

Obsession took over, and he scratched his chest for a moment as she jumped, startled. He didn't know if he was really allergic to cats, or just that the memory of _**her and the cat from hell**_ made him itch.

"Shit! Oh my God, you scared me. Motherfucking hell."

_Shit.… pretty girl has a potty mouth._ The woman looked scared, and Edward didn't want that. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Edward said, and as she turned to him, he gave her his _**nice guy**_ smile for effect.

The woman peered at him closely, and then at the top of his head. Edward looked up to see her almost staring through him and it made him blush. Suddenly, Edward became self conscious and his hand automatically went to his hair as he tried to smooth it down. _God, she's beautiful. Those eyes…damn…you can't do this Edward…not in the plan. _

"…..I don't do cats."

Edward only heard the last part of the statement and it made him chuckle. As pretty girl tried to explain, she blushed herself and it made him laugh more. _I don't think there's anything at all wrong with this girl, except her potty mouth and damn if that wasn't a turn on…too bad she's not in the plan._

Edward watched as she walked away, putting ear buds in her tiny, perfectly formed ears. _Nope…there's nothing wrong with pretty girl…at…all…._

Pretty girl turned around and caught him watching her. She smiled and waved. Edward smiled and waved back.

_OH shit.._ Edward thought as she left the landing and started down the stairs. Pretty girl's hips had a nice sway to them, and her ass was formed perfectly for his hands. _To have…or to have not…_"Have not..she most definitely is NOT in the plan" Edward said to himself as he shook his head sadly and went back into his apartment to get ready for the day.

**FLT~~~~~FLT~~~~~FLT~~~~~FLT~~~~**

After a quick stop for coffee, Edward made it to work with ten minutes to spare. He flew by his assistant, Mrs. Cope and into his office. He sat down and opened his laptop, looking at his first appointments for the day.

Edward took a long drink of his coffee and stood to take off his suit jacket. Rolling up his sleeves, Edward loosened his tie and skimmed the files Mrs. Cope had left on his desk.

Edward had a hard time concentrating, as his mind kept wandering back to a certain beautiful, brown eyed, silky haired, very toned, perfectly shaped neighbor…..the one with the stray cat.

**A/N**

**Oh Edward….don't you realize NOTHING ever goes according to plan?**

**Hahahahaha….I dood it…**_**itchy**_**..WTF was that?..**

**ok lady…your word is….is….. "****shoelace****"**

**ya…*snicker…snort…giggle***


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**MW2, thanks for being so awesome. **

**On to the next one...**

**Disclaimer: She owns it, I don't...we all know this. _Sigh_**

**Chapter 3 - Shoelace**

It's Sunday afternoon and I'm sitting on the sofa, vegitating, when I start to hear muffled yelling. It's coming from next door.

C_ute new neighbor. _

I would normally turn on my ipod and try to block out the noise, living in an apartment complex I have to do this from time to time. Now that I kinda sorta know the guy though, I'm curious. _Who the fuck wouldn't be? _I've smiled and waved at said guy for two weeks now, we're practically best friends.

I close my eyes and picture him pacing the length of his living room, hair sticking up in all directions, fuming...possibly in black boxer briefs.

"_I don't give a fuck what you...NO! So help me if you even!..."_

And that's when I start to feel guilty about listening in on my neighbor. It really sounds like he's enraged, I have no right to listen to this. Grabbing the tv remote, I prepare to try and tune out the yelling. That's when I hear a loud crash and some heavy banging.

"_Ow! Fuck, motherfucker, fuckity, fuck!"_

I chuckle, throw down the damn remote and sit for a minute. There's silence all of the sudden.

"A man who says, 'fuckity'...priceless." I continue to laugh out loud.

It's still quiet over there.

All of the sudden I begin to wonder if _he_ can hear me...sitting here laughing at him. I put my face in my hands. _Oh crap_. Now my guilt is at an all time high, so I decide that a walk might be the best thing for me. Grabbing my jacket and slipping on some flats, I head for the door. The banging starts again so I pick up my pace. When I reach the front door I yank it open so hard that I stumble a little. I'm reaching for the frame to stabilize myself, when I catch swift movement down on the floor...something runs right through my legs. Whatever it is has hair and is now in my apartment. Being the girl that I am, I scream bloody hell.

"Oh my god, oh my god! It's in my house, it's going to kill me! Ahhhhhh!"

I'm frantically brushing my legs.

"It touched my leg! Ahhhhhhh!"

Now I'm shaking my arms and shoulders and jumping up and down, probably looks like I'm epileptic.

"It could have rabbies, my leg will need to be amputated!"

Just as I'm about to scream out my next round of jibberish, two strong hands halt my movements...and jibberish.

"Calm down, neighbor...calm down."

_Cute new neighbor.._

He's now rubbing my upper arms and trying to calm me with soothing words.

"You're going to be okay. Now what's going on here? Can I help you? You're going to be okay, let me help you."

I'm feeling a little ...soothed, so I start to speak.

"There was a...and then it ran through the...and then it touched my leg...and then it...and now it...it's in my fucking apartment! It's going to contaminate my home! Am I bleeding? I must be bleeding..."

My head is shaking from side to side and I'm starting to re-live the whole nightmare again, when neighbor guy gently shakes me out of it.

"Shhhhh, you have to calm down." He's rubbing my shoulders again and I'm instantly starting to feel a little better, it's like his touch has some crazy numbing affect._ He's got the morphine touch._

"Please just calm down, sweetie, and tell me what's going on? Slowly."

_Sweetie? What am I, 12?_

I take a deep breath and tell him exactly what happened, only this time it must come out clearly, because he's nodding in understanding.

_His eyes are so pretty...they are green...and so pretty..._

"Okay." He points his thumb to the door. I'm going to go in and take a look, you stay right here."

I shake myself out of the momentary eye hypnosis and start to panic.

"No! What if there are more?"

I'm freaking out again.

"Shhh, it's o-kay. Just stand behind me and let's see what's going on in there. Now just stay close and try not to hyperventilate." He smirky smiles and then turns around and reaches for the door.

"I wouldn't hyperventilate, why would you say that? I'm fine, I can handle this..._hyperventilate._" I roll my eyes and huff.

Something falls in my apartment.

"Oh motherfucker! We're gonna die...it's gonna kill us! Oh shit, oh shit!"

I'm now climbing on my neighbor's back.

Cute neighbor guy still manages to get the door open as I cling to him like a spider monkey. Slowly the view into the living room beomes clear and there on the floor, chewing on the shoelace to my running shoe, is that damn orange cat.

I cringe and before I can stop myself I say, "fuckity, fuck!"

Cute neighbor guy halts all mo**ve**ment and I watch as a blush slowly moves up the back of his neck.

_Fuckity, fuck... busted!_

**A/N**

**Poor Edward, Bella heard you! Why were you so angry, huh?**

**Okay MW2, here's your word bb...**

"**Stethoscope"**

**LOL! You know I luff ya bb. Xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Allthatsparkles….you are the pb to my jelly…..gurl….I luffs you too.**

**I done did said it that SM owns it all….but I'll say it again…**

**You know, I really don't like cats…truly…at..all…guess it's good I'm Edward's mind 'eh?**

**Chapter 4 – Stethoscope**

**Edward**

Sunday afternoon found Edward relaxing on the couch, still in his sleep pants and no t-shirt reading the Sunday funnies. Well that is until his phone rang. As Edward leaned over to see who the caller was, all hell broke loose.

"What do you want?" I hoped the malice in my voice translated through.

"_**Well hello to you too darling."**_

"I'm not your darling anymore; I don't think I ever was….so what the fuck do you want this time?" I could feel the hairs rising on the back of my neck.

"_**I need some more money to tide me through this month Edward. You can just do an electronic transfer mkay?"**_

"Hell no I won't. Angela, you get a monthly alimony check as it is, you drive a brand new car and you don't have a house payment thanks to me. What the hell more do you want?"

"_**Edward, I need a bit more than my monthly stipend, so be a good ex hubs and do the transfer."**_

"Get your boy toy Ben to give you money Angela. The terms of our divorce are signed, sealed and delivered…and have been for three years…what does it take to get through to you? You get what you get and not a penny more. God Damn I'll be glad when the five years is up and I'm free of this shit!"

"_**Edward…..don't push me….I need the money, and I have ammo in my corner."**_

"I don't give a fuck what you…."

"_**Oh Eddie…Eddie…Eddie…..yes you do, remember that time at the bar in New Jersey…you know Eddie when you had that stethoscope and talked those three girls into doing that thing on the dance floor…..right out in front of everyone….in public?"**_

"NO!...So help me if you even…"

"_**Then do the transfer and I'll keep my mouth shut."**_

"You know what bitch….go ahead….spill it all..all of it..every last thing you think you can hold over my God Damn head…I don't give a shit anymore, it's not that important."

"_**Your profession may state otherwise….are you sure you want to chance it….I still have the video tape?"**_

"That was long before law school Angela, and before we were married. Kids do stupid things….I don't give a flying fig what you do now. The blackmail and bullying stops here. You get your settlement and that's all I'm giving. Go fuck yourself!", as I slammed my cell phone shut I thought back to how I ever fell for her bag of tricks, and it pissed me off even more.

"God Damn that hag! I have had enough of her shit. Three years divorced and I still can't shake her. What the hell was I thinking when I got messed up with her…and then my dumbass marries her...friggin dragon lady from hell that's what she is…."

"Pretending to be all shy and demure…..I can't believe I ever fell for it…. Screwing one of my friends the entire time we were together…..seven years of marriage and for what?"

"No more…never again will a woman get the best of me like that….uh uh..ain't gonna happen…ever….women are for a night's pleasure and that's it…done….simple…to the point, stick to the plan…yup…..damn straight I'm done with being made a fool!"

I let my anger get the best of me and threw the phone against the wall. It didn't break and I didn't feel better. The punch to the drywall felt good though…. until it caused the picture hanging just above it fall on my foot.

"Ow! Fuck, motherfucker, fuckity, fuck!" I hopped around and surveyed the damage to both my foot and the wall. I could see a bruise forming on the top of my foot. Well shit on a stick. I think a beer is in order….copious amounts of beer actually.

I went for the fridge and heard the loudest bloodcurdling scream I have ever heard. Someone was getting massacred out there. I grabbed a knife from the drawer and wrenched open the door prepared to help whoever was being hurt.

There she was, pretty girl. "It could have rabies… my leg will need to be amputated!"

She didn't even see me come up behind her. "Calm down, neighbor...calm down." I rubbed my hands up and down her arms to calm her. Pretty girl looked up at me and spaced out for a moment.

I got her to calm down a bit and tell me what the problem was. I caught myself before I called her pretty girl, using sweetie instead. That seemed to make her eyes glaze for a moment, and damn if it didn't do things to my man region. Great. Tent going up here if I don't shake this feeling…and this feeling is definitely not part of the plan.

"Okay I'm going to go in and take a look, you stay right here." I tell her. I pick up the knife I dropped when I was rubbing her arms and start into her apartment.

She regains her senses and argues with me. _Pretty girl has a fighty side to her. BUT!... she's not part of the plan. Remember that man...she's not part of the plan...  
><em>

I give her my best sexy smirk anyway and tell her to get behind me, turning back to the door and the next thing I know, she's on my back clawing at my neck. _Good thing she weighs next to nothing…shit…now that hurts…damn..damn..damn…_her nails are digging in the back of my neck and her heels are dangerously close to my junk. _The plan…what happened to the motherfucking plan for the day….holy shit this sucks balls._

As we make it into the apartment, we see it….that stupid cat….laying there….chewing one of pretty girl's shoelaces.

"Fuckity Fuck"

The hell you say...did she just steal my line….I invented that line…OH MY GOD….as the realization that she must have heard my convo with the dragon lady sinks in, a blush starts to rise on my neck. Even though I'm embarrassed, I can feel a tingle in my nutsack that only means one thing. Pretty girl is fuckhawt with her filthy, pretty little potty mouth and she is not part of the plan.

Emergency systems light up in my body sending signals to _**Mr. Benny and the Jets**_ to shut down production immediately. I cannot, will not let any woman snag me again with her pretty face and pouty lips and slender curves….and legs that go for miles…and perfectly rounded ass cheeks just begging to be squeezed in the palms of my hands…and sweet smelling hair and …..

Her ankle jabs my junk and sets me back on the road to reality. "**God Damn** woman, watch your feet" I say to her, and she giggles. She giggles. What the fuck?

"Sorry, I'm just really afraid that cat has some awful disease or rabies…or fleas…, and I'm going to have to de-fumigate my apartment now. Can you help me get it out of here?" She asks all innocent sounding.

"Um..ya, but you have to get down first." She jumps down and the vibration of her feet hitting the ground startles the cat and it takes off for the hallway.

"Damnit…..you stupid cat, get the hell out of my apartment" she yells, like the cat is going to listen to her.

We run back to her bedroom and there laying like it owns the place, is the cat…on top of her bed…her nice big ass bed…with the soft bedding and the fluffy pillows and it smells like vanilla and chocolate and coconut and just good. That damn cat is rolling around all over her bed, depositing hair everywhere.

"Get the FUCK out you heathen" she screams as she runs at it.

"Um…that's not going to work." I say to pretty girl as the cat jumps off the bed and takes off back down the hall.

She looks at me and her eyes narrow. _Shit….that's sexy too… that pissed look she has….dayum._

As pretty girl struts over to me, she puts her hands on her hips and stomps on my foot…..my sore foot…..the one she should have seen the bruise on…..

I growl at her, and she raises her eyebrows and growls right back at me. "Listen fuckwit" she says all ferocious. "You have got to help me get that disgusting creature out of here. I can't stand it."

I am awed for a moment and before good sense hits I concede. "All right."

She smirks at me, and damn it if the tent isn't being built as she hurries down the hall.

I follow her only to find her on the floor, looking under her couch. "There it is, get it." She makes a motion with her hands.

"Do you have a towel or something? I'm not getting clawed today."

Pretty girl gets me a towel and stands there tapping her toe. "Calm down …just be calm..and I'll get the damn cat out of here" I say to her, all the while thinking deep in my mind… _and then I'll get the fuck out of here and enjoy my damn beer._

I reach under the couch with the towel wrapped around my hand and grab hold of its neck. Sue me, it's all I could get. As I pull the damn cat out, it squirms and fights and kicks with its paws.

Finally, I've got it secured in the towel and standing with it, I ask "window or door?"

"Window or door?" pretty girl repeats me with a confused look on her face.

"Ya, window or door…which do you want me to drop kick this creature from?"

She almost has tears in her eyes. "Oh…well, don't hurt it….just let it out the front door of the building."

_Shit…I really wanted to punt it out the window just to see if the myth is true. _I dutifully carry the wretched heathen to the building's front door and throw the cat out.

"There…all done pretty girl. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a beer to drink and a foot to ice."

She looks at my foot and then gasps. "I am so sorry I stomped your foot…oh my God….what happened, does it hurt…..HEY!" her face transforms from beautifully soft to pissy female and she stands tall and proud, "did you just call me _**pretty girl**_?"

_Well …fuckity fuck ….Mr. Cullen, you done goofed._

**A/N**

**Wondering WTF went on with that stethoscope and three girls and a dance floor in New Jersey?...me too…it will come out eventually I am sure.**

**ATS….gurlfriend….I luffs you too….and here's your word ...**

"**Dingleberries"**

***sits back wiggles eyebrows and cackles the deep cackle of an ornery cuss***

**Kisses and schmoopiebear hugs...**

**Mewritetoo  
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	5. Chapter 5

**Let's get right to it!**

**MW2, big hugs and smooches.**

**Disclaimer: As always, it is SM's...all of it. **

**Chapter 5 – Dingleberry ( I made it singular, hope you don't mind MW2)**

**Bella**

9 A.M. Monday, I'm sitting at my desk just staring at the cubicle wall. It's not that I'm bored, because seriously, I have so much work to do it isn't even funny. No, it's that I just can't stop thinking about my neighbor.

After he successfully removed the cat; who I now affectionately call "dingleberry", from my apartment, I felt the need to finally introduce myself. "Pretty Girl" sure is nice to call a child, and while I know I was acting like one with all of my screaming and carring on, I am not a child and I thought I should clarify that. So I gave him my name and he, in turn, gave me his...Edward.

_Edward...Ed-ward...Edwurd...Eddie._

I'm kind of loving his name.

Edward and I are now on friendly, first name, terms. I have even gone to his door to borrow an egg. He didn't have one, but I'm sure that if he did, he would have given it to me. I don't know why but when I'm in my apartment, even with a few feet of drywall separating us, I feel safe. And maybe it's just residual feelings from the day that he saved me from the invasion of the dingleberry, but he makes me feel secure. I like knowing that he's there.

"Bella, do you have that FOB ready for me? I'm running close to the deadline here."

Jasper is my boss here at Eclipse, he's one of the editors of our magazine. Eclipse is a local publication that highlights all of the goings on in the art world of Seattle. I am only an assistant editor, but hope to one day move up in the ranks. I'd like to make Junior Editor by the time I'm 25...that gives me six months and two days. It will happen, I know it. For now though, I am stuck editing front of book sections. I'm not complaining, because it could be worse, I know this. I could be working for a complete asshole who doesn't value my abilities and only expects me to fetch coffee and dry cleaning.

That's not Jasper.

"Sure thing, boss. Got it right here." I stand up and hand Jasper what he needs.

Whistling a strange little tune, Jasper peruses my work as he's walking back to his office. Before he can reach the door though, he stops whistling, turns to me and says, "Nice work, Swan."

Did I mention that I love my job?

I smile back at him and can feel the blush creeping up my cheeks. "Thanks."

"Keep it up." He winks at me, then turns back to his office and closes the door behind him.

Jasper may have a corner office with a glorious view of downtown, but when he walks away from me and back to that office, I have the best view in Seattle.

_Mmm hmm...that's right, Jasper's one fine lookin man...and he's my boss...and he's married... Sigh._

A few hours later, I'm heading home with a bag of carry-out from China Gardens. My neck is stiff from sitting at my desk all day and all I want to do is kick off my shoes, eat some low mein and go to bed.

I'm ascending the last few steps to my floor when I notice Edward sitting with his back against my door and his head in his hands. I pause for a second and just stare at him in puzzlement.

_Why the hell is he sitting at my door?_

The bag that I'm carrying makes a crinkling noise and it startles Edward, he lifts his head and turns to look at me. Hurriedly, he pushes himself up only to lose balance and fall back to the floor. It is then that I notice the, almost empty, bottle of vodka sitting at his side.

"W-ell there she iz! H-ellooo beautiful, Bellaaa. B-b-bella, bel-la-la-la...Youwantsu be my fri-end, beautif-ul B-b-bella?"

I close the distance and kneel in front of him. "Edward, is everything alright? Why are you out here?"

"Keys." Edward starts cackling with laughter. "Wo-ould you belie-ve that I locked my f-ucking keys in my apartment?" He then grabs the vodka bottle and holds it up to my face. "I did ma-anage to gtab this though, so-o it'z not so ba-ad now iz it, Bel-la, la, la..."

_I'm not even going to ask how long he's been out here...he's so wasted, he probably wouldn't remember anyway._

"You're sure everything is alright, Edward?"

"You th-ink I would lie to you, beau-utiful Bel-la?"

"No I..." I start to say.

"I don't lie Bella. I hate liars." Edward says while looking me straight in the eyes.

I'm taken aback by his statement, it's off. Something is off.

"Okay Edward, well it looks like you're crashing on my couch. We won't get the Super out here this time of night. James doesn't answer his phone after 9, the fucking prick." I start to pull him into a standing position.

"Th-anks b-beautiful B-bella. I owe you one."

**A/N**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Word prompt for MW2...**

"**Freckles"**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry…much later than I wanted it to be, but my baby…my last child at home is a senior this year and softball season has started…..*yells to the batter box* "homerun gets you ten baby" *quickly counts money in wallet***

**OH …OH…OH…drunk Edward….what to do…what to do? ...*taps chin with finger and looks up at wall deep in perplexing thought***

**allthatsparkles….borrowed sweatpants perhaps, blinding headache….temporary memory loss…um…and where are those damn freckles gonna pop up?...hmmmm…**

**Do I have to say it every chapter?...SM owns all Twilight and this is my disclaimer.**

**Chapter 6 – Freckles**

**Edward**

I woke up and blinked twice trying to figure out where the hell I was, and more importantly, how the fuck I got here.

Sitting up proved to be more painful than I originally thought and immediately my body retreated back to the soft couch cushion. My head felt like jackhammers had taken up residence, and my mouth tasted like pure ass. Not that I've tried pure ass…or any ass for that matter, but if I did, this is what it would taste like.

I pushed my head down into the cushion trying to create a soft holder for my throbbing brain, and I smelled it. Vanilla, coconut…..and chocolate. Opening one eye, I looked around slowly…. "I know this couch….and I know those pictures on the wall….and I know that smell."

Bits of last night came back to me as I looked down toward my feet and saw pink pajama bottoms with bunnies and duckies printed on them. The pain in my groin doubled as I moved and the crotch of the pajamas rode straight up my nutsack. "Holy shit …I was drunk and….ah fuckity fuck…I was drunk…dragon lady…cab...and my apartment with the thing…and the vodka with no glass…and…. shit…Bella." I closed my eyes, willing this nightmare away.

Mortification at what had happened last night barely outweighed the sight of my junk in too tight, too short pink pajamas. Sitting up once more, head in hands the memory of last night came back with a resounding thud to my brain. All of it, the good, the bad and the very nasty dragon lady memories came back to me. I just hope Bella will forgive my behavior…whatever it was and I haven't lost a friend because of it….damn. Bella was never part of my plan, but it seems she's becoming more and more _**the plan**_.

Rubbing my hands over my face, I sort visions of yesterday through my head. Emmett and I had just scored a major victory for the firm on some litigation and were leaving the office early to celebrate. By five p.m., I was pretty toasted, so I took a cab home, and Rosalie came to pick up Emmett. Now this is where it gets a tad fuzzy.

I remember getting in the cab, telling the guy my address and the cab taking off. I remember getting out of the cab, here at home and stumbling a bit up the front steps to the door. I pushed the code key in and the door opened….that's when…OH fuck a duck in a truck….dragon lady slipped by me quickly before the door closed….God DAMN IT…..

I am pissed now, remembering this shit and _**her**_. Angela had somehow followed me home without me knowing it. _Chalk that up to one too many scotches buddy….._

Why the hell did I drink that much? I shook my head and the pain reminded me what came next. Angela started her shit again, whining about no money, and bills and this and that and it was enough. I remember grabbing her arm and trying to shove her out the front door. The other neighbors on our floor opened their doors thinking I was abusing her. I remember her sneer at me as she whispered vile things and she threatened to go to the paper if I didn't cave and give her the money…..Oh fuck ….I pushed her out the door anyway….damn…just…

"When is it gonna end God?...my life…I need it back God…please, if you hear me take pity on my worthless soul and keep that dragon lady away from me."

"Are you okay Edward?" Bella came around the corner right then, witnessing a man thoroughly beat down by life….well, by his ex wife.

I looked up into her face and saw nothing but compassion and the prettiest freckles sprinkled over her nose that I don't remember being there before….hmm… _THANK GOD….she's not gonna kick me out of here. Maybe it wasn't so bad when she got home…maybe…shit I can't remember much after Angela left…I hope it was good and not bad…or ugly._

"Yeah, I'm okay, just feeling really shitty this morning and wondering why you were so nice to me last night." I peeked up at her, waiting….for what I don't know.

Bella giggled and tried to remain composed. "It wasn't so bad Edward. You locked yourself out and what else could I do but lend a friend a hand?"

"Could you tell me what I did then? I don't seem to remember anything past a certain point."

"Well, I came home with Chinese food, and you were sitting by my door, vodka in hand and locked out of your apartment. You were pretty well lit so I let you stay here. End of story."

"You sure?" I looked at her, and she had an interesting glint in her eye.

Bella turned to walk away from me and muttered something, then said loudly, "Yup, hey…you want breakfast? If you can stand it, grease is the best thing for that hangover."

My stomach was fine, so I told her yes and asked to use the bathroom. What stared at me from the mirror was not good. I am not a vain man, but what I saw looked like it crawled back from the pits of hell.

"Bella…." I yelled from the bathroom, grabbing my head instantly. "Can I grab a shower?"

She must have been close because she shoved a pair of basketball shorts at me, making me wonder just whose they were…and a towel.

"Here Edward. There is stuff in the shower to use, and I keep a pack of extra toothbrushes in the drawer right over there if you want."

She gave me that pretty girl smile and walked away, leaving me in awe. Most women were not my _**friends.**_ Never had been…..either I fell for them, or I fucked them and walked away. This was new and as much as I didn't want a woman in my life, the thought of Bella being there made me….made me….um…shit… it made me happy. _So not part of the plan buddy._

After I cleaned the stench of my night in hell away, I felt a little better. Breakfast was ready when I walked out into the kitchen and there was Tylenol by my place at the table. _No one is this nice all the time, I wonder what her trigger is….what will make her send me away?_

"So Edward, I've called the Super, and he will come let you in soon." Bella started eating and looked at me for a response. When I didn't give her one, she kept on talking. "I'm sure you are anxious to get into your apartment and move on with the day, and I have to be at work by 10 today."

"Oh shit….what time is it?" I had a 10:30 appointment and needed to debrief Rosalie before they arrived.

"It's only 9am Edward, why?"

"I need to be at work by 10:00…and …damn…Bella, would you, um…..I left my car at the bar last night, would you be willing to drop me off there?"

"Where is it?"

"Two blocks over. It's close to the office, but I took a taxi home."

"Sure, finish up and …."

A knock at the door interrupted her and she rose to answer it. "Yes, he's here….Edward, James is ready to unlock your door."

I shoved the rest of her delicious cooking in my mouth and ran out the door signaling James to hurry. Twenty minutes later, we were in the parking lot of the bar and I managed a thank you and see you later.

"Edward….will you tell me what had you in the state you were in last night?"

"Um….Bella, it's complicated, and I don't really have time right now, but…well, I mean…Bella, would you eat dinner with me tonight…not a date or anything, but you've been so kind to me…and well….shit…" I grabbed my hair and tugged, the pain of last night still there. "I could bring home take out of some kind...and I'll tell you then….could you…I mean…would you do that?"

"Free dinner….hell yes I would. What time?"

"Say around 7ish?"

"Your place or mine?"

"Mine if you don't mind." I needed to be on home turf to tell her the tale of the dragon lady.

"You're on Edward. I'll see you then."

"Great…and Bella?" I looked over to see her biting her bottom lip and my dick stirred. _Sexy….PLAN Edward…plan. _"Would you tell me what happened after you came home last night please? I am scared I maybe did something out of line."

"You were fine Edward, but yes, I'll give you a play by play." Bella's lips twitched a bit. _Sexy….shit…plan….plan…plan…._

I gave her a quick smile and got out of the car. Looking at my watch, I had enough time to grab a paper before heading to the office. I put the coins in the machine, opened the door and screamed. I don't do girlie screams…..but I did today.

"That fucking bitch."

**A/N**

**Your turn ATS….Eddie didn't reveal the shit storm yet…but….oh damn is it coming….he will get his chance…do you think it will send Bella packing?**

**And just what did Eddie get himself into once "Pretty Girl" came home?...hmmm…**

**ATS, your word is: Picture Frame**


	7. Chapter 7

**Moving right along...**

**MW2, you are the ping to my pong...does that even make sense? Lol! Anyway, I love ya and this little game we are playing is a hoot.**

**Thanks to everyone who is reading. Big smooches. **

**Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada...**

**Bella - Picture Frame**

One thing is for certain...Edward is a mess.

Obviously he is going through some pretty brutal personal issues. Do I want to get myself involved in his shit?

_Hell no, I fucking don't._

This morning when I dropped Edward off and he asked me to come to his place for dinner, I was kinda sorta okay with it. In fact, I think I may have been a little too enthusiastic with my answer. When he looked at me with those mesmerizing green eyes, I remember feeling like he could ask me to do just about anything and I would have said "yes". Now though, I'm having second thoughts.

You know that feeling you get when you realize you've screwed up? It kinda feels like something heavy is sitting on your chest and you start to take these small measured breaths. I'm feeling all of that and it's like my body is sinking lower and lower into the sofa. I know that my mouth has formed a hard grimace. I reach up and run my fingers across the little wrinkle I've got going on between my eyebrows. I sigh heavily and begin pulling on a lose string that's hanging from the bottom of my t-shirt. "Yup, I screwed up."

_But I was just trying to help out a neighbor, dammit...a really good looking, messed up neighbor...ugh._

It's around six o'clock and I'm sitting on my couch trying to think up excuses to get out of going. It's not that I don't like Edward, I do, he's really fucking pretty to look at. It's just that I really can't afford to let anything negative into my life and the dude's messed up! I have my routine, my job is incredible...I'm living my life the way I want to for probably the first time ever and I love it.

Now I'm starting to war with myself.

I think back to last night and how utterly pathetic Edward was. After I got him settled onto my sofa I noticed that he had some nasty looking...I don't even want to know...on his pants. I had to make sure they were removed from the premises pronto, so I scavenged my drawers for something that would fit him. It's hard not to smile at the memory of seeing Edward in Jake's silly pink pajama bottoms. They are one of the things I just couldn't part with after...well, they are just kind of special to me. I'm glad they worked for Edward, even if he did look ridiculous.

_I wonder how he even got them on, that man was seriously wasted._

I am chuckling to myself when it dawns on me...I'm sure that waking up in those pants just added to the feelings of embarassment Edward was already having. He invited me to this dinner so that I can ease his mind, get everything off his chest. He needs a friend.

_I am such a bitch._

"Shit." I am now holding a throw pillow against my face and while it's there, I figure I should scream into it. Which I do.

After I remove the suffocation device from my face, I just sit there and stare across the room at the picture frame on my bookshelf.

_What would my father do...what would my father do..._

My father, Charlie's, smiling face looks back at me and I know exactly what he would say, "You are an adult now, Bella. Do what you have to do and don't be afraid."

And that is when my decision is made. I am going to get my ass up off of this couch, go over to Edward's door and... stick a note to it telling him I'm sorry and that I couldn't make it.

_I don't thing that's what Charlie would do._

"Oh shut it!" I tell my conscience aloud.

It is decided...that is what I'm doing.

I hop up, walk over to the bookshelf and turn the picture frame face down.

_There. Sorry Charlie._

Then I go to my desk and grab a pen, a pad of post it notes and I start to compose a message.

Fifteen minutes later, almost an entire pad of post its crumpled at my feet on the floor, and I am no closer to having a note. I am ready to grab that pillow and scream in it again but decide to just write something simple and call it a day. I go with:

_**Edward, **_

_**So sorry but I had to go back into work. Raincheck?**_

_**Bella**_

I almost put my cell phone number on there, but think better of it. If he has my number, he is more likely to bother me with his problems and, like I said, I just don't need that drama in my life. I figure after last night, we are now even. He saved my ass from the dingleberry...

_Wait, eeew, that's kind of gross..._

He saved my ass from the _cat_ and I gave him a warm place to crash and a ride to his car. There. Even.

Smiling and mentally patting myself on the back for being such a fucking genius, I look down to assess what I'm wearing. I've been sitting here in a t-shirt that says, "Kiss Me I'm Irish-ish" and my favorite Hello Kitty boyshorts since I got home from work. I probably won't see anyone anyway, so I shrug and start walking to the front door. I pause for a second and feel a little pang of guilt, this morning I promised to tell him exactly what he did last night when he was drunk.

_Shit_.

Technically I already did when I said he was "fine", right?

_Yeah, I think I got that message across. I told him he was fine, that's good enough._

Nodding to myself, I tug on the hem of my t-shirt and open the front door. I poke my head out and look up and down the hallway. The coast is clear so I slowly sneak out and close the door behind me. Post it note in hand, I tip toe down the hallway towards Edward's apartment, 34 B. I stop, look down at my chest and chuckle.

_Too funny._

I start moving a little faster now, I figure I should probably get this shit done as quickly as possible.

I reach 34-B, lightly stick the note to the door, knock, then turn and haul ass back to my apartment. I am almost free, I turn back one more time, as I am running, to look at his door.

_Big mistake._

Just as I start to turn my head back around, something gets caught under my feet and... I am airborn.

Everything kinda happens in slow motion. I can feel my legs flailing out behind me, my arms are outstretched in front of me and a sound like nothing I've ever made, is coming out of my mouth.

"Uummpphh!"

Annnd...I'm just laying there. On my stomach. In my Hello Kitty underwear. It is then that irony rubs itself against the side of my leg.

_Hello, fucking, kitty...Dingleberry...fucking CAT!_

"I am never wearing these underwear again!" I yell.

I am two seconds from kicking the cat when the sound that I wished more than ever not to hear right now, is heard.

"Bella? What are you doing?" And then I hear as Edward pulls the post it note off of the door.

_Fucking hell._

**A/N**

**Ooooh Bella, how you gonna get yourself out of this one? Hee, hee. **

**Word Prompt:**

**blood**


	8. Chapter 8

**Bella's afraid? Well I can bet the fuzz at the bottom of my purse that Edward is going to have something to say about that. **

**ATS…..gurl, you are the caramel on my sunshine sunday! **

***standing with back to readers* Whyyyyyyyyyyyy do I have to say it again? *stomps foot on the ground* SM owns all Twilight stuff. Period.**

**To dine or not to dine….. That is the question. BIG HAIRY thank yous to everyone who is playing this game with us! ( I told you it was like interactive dinner theater)**

**Chapter 8**

**Blood (for the record, that is beyond gross ATS…just saying…)**

**Edward**

"That fucking bitch". I saw the front page of the paper, and what was on it? Oh boy was that bitch gonna pay this time. True to her word, Angela had submitted the videotape of our wild night at the bar with those three skanks. The paper used a screen shot of the girls all naked on the dance floor and me right smack dab in the middle with that damn stethoscope.

What the paper didn't show, was Angela on the bottom and the skanks all around her. I was only touching her, and that damn stethoscope had nothing to do with the other girls. They were just decoration. "Smooth dragon lady….real smooth." The paper also didn't inform the reader that this was years ago….eons ago, and it was a dare.

"That's ok you she-bitch. I have enough ammo in my own arsenal to blow your ass to next Thursday." As I started the car, I hit Jenks and waited for him to answer.

"Ello?"

"Jenks?"

"Ya"

"Edward Cullen. I want you to roll forward with what we discussed last week."

"Seriously?"

"All of it man. All of it, every last piece of evidence."

"Just so we are clear Mr. Cullen, you want me to release it all?"

"Definitely."

"Ok then, expect it on tonight's news at 6 pm."

"Well done, and Jenks?"

"Ya?"

"Do a spectacular job, and your pay for this assignment doubles."

"Done."

I hung up the phone and drove to work, leaving the paper in my car. Pissed did not cover an eighth of what I was. I didn't need this shit. Family Law is something I worked very hard for, and the antics of a college kid years ago shouldn't factor into anything now.

We didn't hurt, rob or force anyone that night, it was a simple college dare and those girls were the ones doing the daring. Hell, the stethoscope was Bree's, she was in Medical School.

Angela had wanted the girls to come back to the apartment with us, and I said no. If that bitch thinks she's getting one over on me, she played her cards wrong. I hold trump in this hand.

Mrs. Cope braced herself as I walked past her to my office. "Did you see the paper Edward?"

"Yup."

"Well,…."

"No comment, but that bitch is in for it."

"Anything I can do son?"

"Nope. Just watch the 6 o'clock news."

"Okay then. Rosalie is in the conference room with the files for your 10:30."

"Thanks, Mrs. Cope."

"No problem."

As I opened my office door, I turned to see Shelly Cope, fists clenched and lip curled. I am so damn glad she's on my side. That woman is a force of nature and when she's mad….all hell breaks loose.

I hurry through my morning routine and make it down to the conference room in twenty minutes. Rosalie looks up as I come through the door.

"So, loverboy….whatcha got to say for yourself this morning?"

"Oh God…Rose….just…"

She snickered and put her pen down. "That woman has gotten away with so much since you became involved with her Edward. It is high time you put her in her place and washed your hands of that bitch."

"Don't I know it. Dragon Lady has tried to suck the last drop of blood from my veins, but it ain't happening….What I need should be accomplished by 6:15 tonight Rose."

"Local or National?"

"National….all of them….Every damn national channel there is….including CNN and MSNBC."

"No shit….seriously?"

"All of them. I'd plaster that shit on the Weather Channel if I could."

She lowered her head, shoulders shaking. Rose couldn't hold it in though and soon, a deep guffaw was echoing off the conference room walls.

"Well played my brother…well played."

"Damn straight. Now let's get to work."

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

I left work around 5 pm in order to get home, diffuse and watch the news before I had to sit down with Bella. Italian would be delivered by 7 pm.

After showering away the days work, I sat down to watch the nuclear bomb Jenks had placed in my steed. I spit my beer clean across the coffee table and came up choking, when the first story up was entitled **"The Problem with Man Eating Dragons."**

Jenks gets high marks for this one, in fact I'm tripling his pay, because if dragon lady even dare show her face around Seattle after this?...Fucking A….she dug her own grave, I just tipped her cow ass into it.

The reporter gave a startling expose on a Ms. Angela Smith "ex" of Mr. Edward Cullen, and she-bitch extraordinaire. A better video of that bar night was shown, as well as explaining what really happened, and whose idea it was. They talked with two of the three ladies involved, and the dirt on what really went down. They also went on to show dragon lady's involvement with Ben, and the court drama that ensued during our divorce. They showed her settlement, and the P.I. Jenks hired showed footage of her slinking around town trying to extort money from my family and myself.

"FUCKING A Jenks….YOU BE DA MAN." I was grinning ear to ear as I turned off the tube and went to get dressed. I looked around the living room and kitchen quickly to make sure it was company friendly and a noise outside my door caught my attention.

A loud thump followed by what I swear sounded like _**"….never wearing these underwear again"**_ had me running for the door. As I opened it, there lay Bella. Hello Kitty on her ass and face down in the carpet. I notice the underwear first, because her ass was up in the air just begging to be fondled. Pink Hello Kitty underwear riding up, showing me her glorious left ass cheek, face first in the carpet and a green T-shirt. _Sexy as hell._

Something on the door catches my eye and as I pull off a neon green sticky note, I have to ask, "Bella…what are you doing?"

She stills on the floor, muttering something. I look at the note and disappointment settles in. _Have I hit her trigger so soon? Why is she running? She obviously doesn't have to be back at work. Shit….did she see the paper today? Did she see the paper but not the news?_

This can't happen. She was not part of the original plan, but I can't lose her friendship. I crave it too much. "What's up Bella….?" She doesn't turn over, preferring instead to keep her face buried in the carpet, sucking fibers. _Nope…not losing this battle…she will listen…then if she runs, I tried..but damn it..uh uh._

I kneel down beside her and roll her over. Pretty girl's a stubborn wench, fighting me with all she has. As soon as I get her over on her back, Bella's arms cover her face and I see the words "Kiss Me…I'm Irish-ish" on her T-shirt and I can't help but laugh…loudly.

"C'mon Bella, it's just me. Give it up."

That makes her peek from under her arms warily. "Edward…you weren't supposed to come out until I made it back to my apartment…but the damn cat…fucking dingleberry….and then the…and shit…the cat tripped…and..….well, and then….damn carpet shoved up my nose and the…."

Her commentary was totally confusing, so I gently pulled her arms away from her face and smiled at her. "I didn't take you for someone who just gives up Bella. Are you?"

"Hell no."

"Then why the note?"

"Well…I…shit Edward I don't know."

"Did you read the paper today by chance?"

"No, why?"

"Did you see the news?"

She looked at me confused and said slowly like I was a fucking reject, "No Edward. I just got home a while ago, and debated this evening."

"Why are you scared then Bella?"

"Why are you assuming I am?"

"Because no one tries to secretly get out of a dinner slash talk by slapping a post it on their neighbor's door in Hello Kitty panties. They use a trench coat and an envelope." I winked at her and continued. "Covert ops shit ya know."

Bella sits up fast and about knocks my jaw with her head. "Listen….you…you…." She points her finger at my face and I grab it before she can pull it back.

"Listen to what?..."

"ARGGGGGGGGGG" is her witty comeback.

"Tell ya what Bella. We are going to go in my apartment, well…first you are going home to cover up those sexy panties…feel free to keep the T-shirt on though…, then we are going into my apartment…you and me…." I point back and forth so she will get the message, "We are going to eat a nice Italian dinner that should be here in 5 minutes. Next, we will have coffee or wine, whichever you prefer and we are going to talk. An interactive evening if you will."

Bella starts to talk, and I shut her lips lightly with my fingers. _Nice…very soft lips….._ "I will talk first, and you will listen…then you will ask questions, because you will have them. Next, you will talk…about yourself and why you are so scared to be my friend….and I will listen…and then I will ask questions…because I sure as hell have them….Make sense?"

I must have startled her, because she just nodded and stood up when I offered her my hand for assistance. Bella quietly walked back to her apartment and went in, with me watching her in the hallway.

Ten minutes later, Bella and I sat at my kitchen table eating the best Italian this side of the hemisphere. I would make her understand before the evening was over all I had been through, and where I was going. I may not be looking for a girlfriend, but she was not fuckbuddy material either. She was too nice to be treated like that, so friend it would be. I would also understand her skittishness at wanting to be my friend, and why she thought she could just walk away now that she has upset the natural order of my plan.

**A/N**

**Muwhahahahahahahaha…..talk, talk, talk….wonder how that's gonna go if Bella keeps that T-shirt on?...hahahahahaha….**

**Ball's in your court ATS….*snicker*…..(I said 'balls')**

**Your prompt is: Coffee Creamer**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello peoples! RL has been holding me hostage, so I apologize for getting this out a little late. It is a longer chapter (well longer than usual). Enjoy.**

**MW2, You're simply the best. I adore you!**

**Disclaimer: It's all SM's. Yup.**

**Chapter 9 – Word prompt, Coffee Cream**er

**Bella**

How the hell I made it back to my apartment, I don't know.

I am embarrassed and mortified. _Oh god, I can't belie__ve Edward caught me in the act of ditching him...and I had my hello kitty ass in the air when he did it._

I'm leaning with my back against the front door, running my fingers over my lips where Edward just had _his _fingers. The cold of the metal feels good against my hot skin and slowly pulls me out of the haze that Edward's touch put me in. I am thankful to once again be in the privacy of my own apartment, but I know that I have to leave again soon and face the music. My stomach twists with nerves.

_I need to put some pants on._

I need to put away the coffee creamer that's been sitting on the counter all day, maybe straighten up the living room, a few loads of laundry...

_Now I'm looking for excuses to prolong going. Dammit_

I _need_ to go back over to Edward's and actually have dinner with him. We are going to talk.

I don't normally _do_ talk, but I figure I owe it to him. Maybe I freaked out a little too much. We can be friends, right? It doesn't have to be all complicated. I'll just lay down the law and make him understand that under no circumstances will I get involved in any of the shit going on in his personal life. I will remain detached; I will lend him eggs and sugar, I will bring in his paper when he's out of town, I will smile and wave...that's it. This dinner business happens one time and one time only. I can do this, it will be fine. Good neighbors, that's what we'll be.

_People can drool and have raunchy sexual fantasies about their good neighbors, right? Yup, I'm allowing it. _

Sighing heavily, I push off from the door and walk over to my bookshelf. The picture of my father lay face down just the way I left it. I feel terrible. I turn the frame over and look into Charlie's smiling eyes, he would be so disappointed in my behavior. _I _am so disappointed in my behavior.

I need to put on my big girl pants and just get it over with. I am an adult afterall, time to start acting like one. I lift Charlie's picture to my face and kiss it.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

Ten minutes later I'm back at Edward's apartment. When he opens the door to greet me, his smile just about turns me to goo. I don't know why I never noticed it before.

"I really like that shirt." He chuckles.

"Thanks" I mumble and cross my arms over my chest, still feeling embarassed about what happened earlier in the hall. I shake it off and focus on him as he leads the way into his apartment. Edward looks like a college guy; hair in total disarray, baggy faded jeans, low on the hips, dark blue t-shirt with the Udub emblem on the front. I zero in on a few little holes around the neck of the shirt, it has seen better days.

_It's sexy as hell. _

His apartment is sparse, no personal effects, not much in the way of decorating. The furniture is contemporary and clean lined. It still happens to feel warm though and I am immediately comfortable. I can smell his scent in the air, clean and musky...all man.

_Focus Bella...focus..._

"Want some wine?" He asks as we are standing in front of his dining table, it's already set and the food smells wonderful. "Sure" I say as I lean forward and lift one of the lids off of the carry-out.

"Wow, this really smells good."

"Cafe' Lago...they make the best food. You've never had it before?" He's surprised.

"Nah, I wish I could eat out more, it's just not in my budget. One day though when I am a famous author, I'll treat _you_." I wink at him and giggle

"You've got a deal." He winks back and I have to hold onto the the back of the chair for support.

_Dammit Bella, stop it. Friends remember...neighborly friends who share eggs and shit. No nipple hardening. _

Continuing with the charm, Edward pulls out the chair for me. We are seated and without anymore hesitation dig right into the food. I don't know what the hell you call it, but there's eggplant and tomato and some kind of cheese...kinda looks like blue cheese. Oh and the bread...did I mention the bread...

_Little food orgasm going on, uh huh.._

"It's the vegitarian antipesto, I hope you like it? I don't eat meat so..."

"No, I love it. It's delicious." I smile as I break off another piece of the bread and pop it into my mouth.

Edward washes down his last bite with some wine, wipes his mouth and then leans back in his seat.

"So, you were running from me tonight huh?"

I put my fork down and then bury my head right in my hands.

"Don't be embarassed, Bella. It's okay, really. I'd be a little hesitant to hang out with someone like me too. I mean we barely know each other and already I've been drunk and crashing on your couch, I still don't know half of what I said to you. Then, I can just imagine what you thought when you heard me yelling and carrying on the other day here in my apartment. I know you heard me through the walls." He's shaking his head. "Believe me, I understand why you might want to distance yourself from me."

I look up at him then and sigh. "Edward, I admit, seeing and hearing all of that was a complete shock. It scared me a little, yes. I had to wonder if it would become a regular thing and honestly, I am just not equipped to handle that kind of drama."

Edward is nodding in understanding. "Yeah, I get that. I do have an explanation, though."

I watch as Edward slides a couple of newspapers towards me and I read the headlines, with my jaw dropped.

Edward goes on to tell me all of the gory details behind the articles as well as everything that lead up to this war that he has going on with his ex-wife. He tells me how Angela, his ex, had an affair with his best friend and about their plan to extort money from him. Money, Edward has so much of it, has been so successful and built such highly respectable reputation. With his ex, it was always just about manipulation and lies, she never truly loved him. She really is an evil person. I feel terrible for Edward and can completely understand why he might have major trust issues. I look at this handsome man and wonder what woman would ever let him go, he seems so wonderful. This Angela person is not only a complete bitch, but an idiot as well.

"I'm really just concentrating on cleaning up my life right now." Edward says with hope in his voice. "I am pretty confident this all will go away soon. Especially after those stories, clearing my name, have been in circulation long enough."

"Is that why you are staying in this apartment...you're hiding from your former life? I wonder. He is extremely wealthy, afterall, why would he stay in a place like this.

"Well, yes and no." He nods and takes a sip of water. "True, people aren't likely to believe that I'd stay in a small, understated apartment like this. No offense." Edward holds up his hand. I shrug my shouders and nod for him to continue. "So I really don't think they would come looking for me here. It is a sort of hide away I suppose." He shrugs then reclines in his chair, putting his arms up and hands back behind his head.

" I just really like it here," He takes a deep breath in and lets it out, " it reminds me of simpler times. I look at this as starting over." And now he's smiling.

I show him I understand by smiling back at him.

"Bella, having money and success means nothing if you lose yourself in the process. I had lost myself. I need this time to...find what makes me happy again. " He smiles beautifully.

All I can do is look on in adoration.

I feel I can really relate with Edward now, I understand where he's coming from and I respect him very much...and this scares the hell out of me.

"Now it's your turn. Tell me about you, Bella?"

And that is when it's time for me to leave the building. I realize that I'm being hypocritical here, but like I said earlier, I don't _do _talking. Listening, I can listen. Talking about myself...nope.

So I place my napkin on the table and prepare to do what I do best. Run.

My palms start sweating, my breathing has increased...I need to get out of here. Now.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I say the only thing that will get me out of here fast and without questions.

"Bathroom." And then I hold my stomach and grimmace on purpose.

"You know where it is, we have the same..."

I interrupt, "_My_ bathroom."

Edward gets an understanding look on his face and scrunches up his nose slightly. "Right, uh, well do you want to come back after, or..."

"No, thank you so much but I really think I should just call it a night."

I push back from the table and scurry to the door. Edward stares at his plate in bewilderment.

_Dammit, I did it again. What is wrong with me?_

**A/N**

**Seems Bella's got some issues of her own. Hmmm...**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**Word Prompt for you MW2:**

**Scratches**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ello?...Knock..Knock…anybody home?...*wipes brow*..Whew…I thought you mayhaps all left….Glad you are still with us.**

**ATS….this is getting very interesting….no?**

**SM owns all of it….I'm just gonna make Edward do stoooopid stuff (not all the time…)**

**Please be kind and remember that this whole shebang is unbeta'ed…..Fanks!**

**Chapter 10-Scratches**

**Edward**

"No, thank you so much but I really think I should just call it a night." Bella fumbled fast and moved to the door.

_What the…..?_ I scratched my head for a moment, wondering why…OH_ SHIT…uh uh..nope pretty girl….run you may do, but not tonight._

I was up and out of my chair faster than she could open the door. I got to pretty girl just as she was turning the handle and opening it up. Both my hands pushed it closed and I heard Bella gasp as I blocked her body with my own, hands spread flat near her head.

"No Bella…don't run right now." I whispered into her ear. I could hear her breathing hard and felt like shit for scaring her.

"Edward, I can't do this now…..I just can't…please." Bella struggled a bit to get out from under my arms.

"Be still pretty girl. Be still." I needed her to calm down first. When I was sure she wasn't going to sprint away from me, I released my arms and stepped back a little to give her breathing room.

Bella turned slowly, her head down and shoulders slumped in defeat. "Bella, I won't make you do anything…_ever_…that you don't want to do, but don't run from me. I need a friend, and you sure as hell need a friend. Just let me in a little. I shared, because I wanted you to know those things."

She continued to look at the floor, ashamed it seemed. I leaned over and tipped her chin up carefully so I could see her eyes. There were tears in them. _You dipshit…you made her cry…_

As I softly wiped her tears with my thumbs, she leaned her head into one of my hands. _That's it pretty girl…trust, just a little. _

"Now…Bella," I said as I gave her my _**it's okay smile **_ "Take a deep breath and let it out first."

She did as I asked and then she blushed. "Edward…I…well, I just don't trust…..it's hard to explain, and my dad, and then the …and…Jake..and..."

"Bella, I want to hear it all…everything you want to tell me, and I promise there will be no judgment, and I will sit here as long as it's necessary." I looked into her eyes to assure her I was being honest.

"This is hard for me Edward. I didn't grow up _**talking **_my feelings out." Bella takes a shuddering breath, trying to calm down.

"Ok…here's what we'll do." I walked her back to the living room and had her sit on the couch. Bella quickly scampered to the end of the sofa and brought her knees up to almost cover her face. _What the fuck ?...damn Edward…her skeletons may just be worse than yours._

"Would you like some liquid courage? It helps me sometimes Bella."

She nodded her head then braced it on her knees, looking at me so sadly. I hurried to the kitchen for two glasses and the brandy.

Fuck beer…fuck wine…this was a brandy talk. I brought the snifters and decanter out and poured two fingers for Bella. As I handed it to her, I had to ask. "Bella, have you ever had brandy? No offense, but you're young…it's not a young person's drink."

"I'm not that young Edward, but no…I've never had it." She reached out to take the snifter and swirled and sniffed like a pro. Bella took a hesitant drink and swished it lightly before swallowing. _Shit…she swishes delicately…..pretty little mouth all puckered up…damn…PLAN Edward…don't be a fucking dumbass…PLAN and Bella…_

"Um…Bella, how did you know?..."

"I watch TV and read Edward. Just because I can't afford brandy, doesn't mean I don't know about it." Her hackles were starting to rise. I backed off and chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere. She looked at me and blurted out "And just how _**old **_are you?"

"33. You?"

"24...almost 25."

She was stalling and that was okay…for now. I let her enjoy a few more sips before I spoke again.

"So, Bella. I'm going to ask you questions and you can either nod or shake your head for yes and no…or you can elaborate…..alright?" This seemed to please her, she didn't have to give a exorbitant amount of info.

"You have graduated college, work here in the city and live alone." I thought maybe starting with the easy things; Bella would loosen up a bit and see she could trust me. A nod of her head without any sarcasm told me I was on the right path.

"You are single and not lesbian…right?" I was worried for a moment…..why I do not know, because she was not part of the plan.

Bella giggled and nodded her head to answer both questions. "Edward why would you care if I was lesbian or not?"

"Just a question, wanted to get it all out there…maybe I'll ask your weight next." I gave her my best cheeky smile, and she responded by pulling her leg out from under her chin long enough to kick my side lightly.

"Hey…don't hurt the bartender…just give him your worries." I grabbed her foot and she automatically pulled back, but I held firm.

"Edward, I don't think…."

"This will help relax you, besides, when is the last time you had a foot massage? I am not doing it to get in your pants Bella. I am being genuine here. Friend to friend…period."

Bella relented and let me massage her foot as she finished her brandy. I took her snifter from her, setting it on the coffee table and waited. She took one more deep breath and let it out.

"Edward, I didn't have an easy childhood. My dad was a cop, my mom a school teacher. She left when I was five, and it was just dad and me. Dad died three years ago on a routine traffic stop. The guy had drugs and guns in the car, freaked and started shooting."

Bella paused to get her bearings and I wondered just what the hell this girl had gone through in her twenty four short years.

"I was just ending my junior year in college and looking forward to the summer with dad. My professors let me take my tests online so I could attend to dad's funeral. I didn't tell mom….I don't know where she is…haven't seen her since I was seven and she dropped in for a quick visit. Edward, we didn't discuss things at my house. There was no open feelings, no cry and ice cream talks. Hell, the school nurse talked to me about my period. My dad wasn't inattentive…just embarrassed to talk about all that stuff."

Bella blushed and shook her head trying to move on before she lost her nerve…getting it all out there, it took guts…this I knew…I sat still trying so hard to just be supportive and not grab her in a hug.

As the weight of her words hit my brain, my stomach clenched and I could feel my own tears forming. _Aw hell…this is fucking bullshit…what kind of mother leaves her kid? It hit close to home as I thought about it though…I'd seen it numerous times with the types of cases I took._

Bella looked at my snifter, still full of brandy. I handed it to her without a word. She drank some more courage and continued… I was in awe of her bravery.

"So, I buried dad, packed up the house and sold it. The rest of the summer I stayed with the Blacks. Billy was dad's best friend and his son Jake was mine." Bella put her head down at the mention of Jake. _Son of a bitch…if this Jake did something to her, I will rip his balls out through his mouth._ The need to protect was instinctual and I had a hard time sitting still as I'd promised.

"I got through the best I could, and when all was said and done, dad had left me enough money to pay off all my schooling and live on my own during senior year. I still have a little left…enough in case of an emergency."

"Jake was there for me through it all. Held my hand, helped pick out a casket, designed the headstone, he even accompanied me to the bank and the accountants to make sure I wasn't being taken advantage of."

I leaned forward slightly...curious but not pushing. _If Jake was this nice, why is she so damn sad?_ As if Bella could sense my curiosity she smiled sadly and went on.

"I fell in love with Jake Edward. He didn't see me as that though. We did our _**firsts**_ together, and then he moved on." She paused and pointedly looked at me. _Oh…OH…. shit…not good Edward…make it better..fast….._

"He didn't love me like I loved him. Quite a blow to a young girl's ego and I tried to get past it, but it made me feel unworthy. I pretty much laid it out there and it wasn't returned. I don't think I could do that again. If Jake can't bring himself to love me, who will then?" She put her head back down on her knee and the tears started.

I had heard enough for one day. If Bella wanted to tell more, I'd listen but she would be in my arms as she did so. I moved faster than she could respond to and Bella was on my lap, arms nestled before she could take a breath.

"It's gonna be okay Bella. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, but you are worthy, and you have a good heart. Just sit, relax…cry if you need to…it's okay." I held her and thought about all this meant to and for her. _Time Edward…she needs time. Don't push, just be there, she will see soon enough that you are not a threat to her. Fuck the plan man…it's done…burnt..it's toast…over…you need a new plan…whatever it is…with her as a friend..or… something…you need a plan…she's more important than keeping her at arm's length._

Bella cried for a while, and then wiped her nose on my shirt. Chuckling, I handed her a tissue from the box on the coffee table. "Here, my shirt most likely isn't very soft."

"It's soft, and it smells good Edward." _Say wha?_ Lower regions started that tingle shit and I had to stop it quick before she didn't trust me either.

Bella looked up at me and smiled. "Edward, I've needed that for so long. There's been no one I can trust. I feel very unworthy and am distrustful of anybody. I don't have many friends. I keep to myself and do my job and come home…and I run. I don't know how to do real friendships anymore…it's been so long. Thank you." Her eyes conveyed many thoughts, and I found myself trying desperately to read them.

"Bella, I have a hard time trusting too, but I think we can trust each other. Let's lay it on the line for now…what's acceptable and what is not okay? That way we can both be comfortable…and help each other out…this way your running can be limited just for physical fitness alright?" She peeked up at me again and giggled. _Such a pretty giggle…..her face lights up when she's happy. You are in charge of that look dude…Keep it on her face._

"I say we've had enough tears this evening Bella…wanna watch a movie with me?"

Bella sat still for a moment then her eyes lit up. "Only if I can have popcorn. You have any?"

"Nope. You?"

"Ten minutes…give me ten minutes and I'll be back with the best damn popcorn you've ever tasted." She sprang up from the couch and was out the door before I could ask for extra butter.

_**Later that night as the movie came to an end and a sleepy Bella made her way back to her apartment, a quiet, little orange cat sat in the corner of the hall, facing Edward's door but out of sight and purred knowingly.**_

**A/N...a clue about two people who've both been shit on….life tends to throw these types together…ever notice that?...hmmm…**

**ATS…I've just lobbed the ball back to you bb…..PLAY!**

**Your word is: Tampon**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi again, friends! Home just long enough to squeeze out another chapter for ya! My good friend MW2 decided to throw a whopper at me with the word prompt, tampon. _Uh huh, she did. _ Sneaky little shit. So, I feel totally justified in throwing a whopper right back at her. _Hee, hee... _Read to the end and you shall see what it is. ;) **

**Disclaimer: SM owns it all, I'm just unoriginal.**

**Chapter 11 – Tampon (MW2, _grrr_...)**

**Bella **

"Bella, can I see you in my office please?"

I'm sitting in my cubicle, just about to take a sip of my chai tea when Jasper calls me in. This is nothing new, Jasper calls me into his office every Monday, at this time, so we can go over the details of the publication and prepare our part for the weekly meeting. I smooth my hair and then check the front of my blouse for crumbs. I don't see any but brush my hands over my chest anyway. _Why do we do this?_ I shake my head.

Walking towards his office, I am tugging on my skirt and shifting it to the left slightly, no matter what I do though, it still feels wrong.

_I fucking hate skirts._

Jasper's sitting behind his desk as I enter the office, he's got his glasses perched on the end of his nose and is flipping through some papers.

_Ahhh...what a great way to start the work day. Mmm._

"There you are. Come on in, have a seat." His smile is genuine, but I detect some underlying stress. He motions with his hand towards the leather chair in front of his desk and I follow his direction and sit.

He continues to flip through the papers and I'm just sitting there watching and waiting for him to begin speaking. This really doesn't bother me because I get several minutes to just appreciate the pretty.

_Fine male specimen I tell you._

A couple of minutes go by before he finally sets the papers down and gets on with it. He drops the papers to his desk and pushes back in his chair with a heavy sigh.

"Alright, so I need to talk to you about a couple of things and I want to apologize now for my lack of organization. There were some last minute changes to the November issue and, as you know, Heidi has been out for a couple of weeks now on maternity leave." I nod."

I have had to work double duty while we find a temporary replacement for her." He looks up at me now and my stomach drops. _Is he going to ask me to fill in?_

"You'd be surprised at how difficult it is to find an editor who is multi-lingual."

_Shit, he's not going to ask me._

"So, until we find someone I'm kind of stuck playing multiple roles. Here's where I need you, Bella. I'd like for you to co-edit the feature stories with me. I trust you, you've proven yourself on more than one occasion and I really think you're ready for something more. What do you think"

_I am screaming internally._

I am nodding my head and trying like hell not to stand on my chair and scream for joy. This is my break, this is my chance to really go the distance.

_Junior Editor here I come!_

"Well, do you think you're up for it? I mean, I'm going to need you to do this on top of everything else you already do. It could be challenging, but quite frankly I think you are ready. What do you say?"

Composing myself, I place my hands on the edge of his desk and smile confidently.

"Yes. I appreciate you asking me, Jasper, and I would be happy to take on a little more responsibility. When do I get started?"

I hope I look composed on the outside, because right now it is becoming extremely difficult to sit in this chair without bouncing.

Jasper chuckles. "Okay then, I'll get back to you later this afternoon with more details. Now though, how about that research you promised me? The story waits for no one!"

My smile is huge. I stand and speak at the same time," I'm on top of it, I'll send it right to you."

Right before I make it to the door, he stops me. _I love it when he does that._

"Oh and Bella, as always, nice work." Then he winks.

My left knee buckles just then and thank the lord the door frame is there to save me from embarassment. "Thanks." I manage to squeak out. Smiling, I hurry back out to my desk.

I'm sitting and bouncing...and just itching to tell somebody, _anybody,_ my good news, but I don't have anyone. _Gosh, aren't I pathetic._ I look over the cubicle wall to see if Jessica is there...of course not. She'd probably be jealous anyway, and think I'm rubbing it in. Definitely not the person to tell. I sigh.

_Edward._

I really wish I could just call him or text, but we haven't exchanged numbers yet. Ours is still just in the "friendly neighbor" stage. Sure, we know personal things about each other, but we haven't really explored much further than that. I really want to explore further, but am afraid to push.

Over the past couple of weeks, since we opened up to each other, things have been going pretty well. I see him just about every morning and we do our friendly chit chat in the hallway before my run. I had him over on Saturday; it started out as him just coming to help me fix a leaky pipe, but ended with him staying for pizza. It was so embarassing, I thought I removed all of the items from under the vanity but just as he was kneeling to the floor to take a look, I spotted a stray tampon way in the back of the cabinet.

_That is sooo not how I wanted him imagining my nether regions._

Edward just took that opportunity to tease me relentlessly though and make up funny limericks on the spot. Like, "There once was a man eating grey poupon..."

The man is sick I tell you, and I love it.

Edward just makes me feel happy, like there is someone in my corner for a change. It's a good feeling...no, a great feeling! He is the perfect person to share great news with and that is exactly what I plan to do.

I kick off my heals and take the stairs to my apartment two at a time. _Kinda hard in a pencil skirt, but I am talented like that._

I practically skip down the hallway, past my door, and straight on down to 34-B. I tap three times and wait. My foot is tapping with anticipation, I give it three seconds before I start rapping on the door again, only this time to the beat of a song playing in my head.

_Still no answer. Hmph._

I knock one more time for posterity, already knowing what the result will be.

_Still not answering. Shit._

Sighing heavily and pouting like a petulant child, I turn to walk back to my lonely apartment. I take each step slowly, just not wanting to face the rest of the night alone. I hate to waste all of this excitement.

The type of party I was wanting to have is certainly not of the pity variety.

"_Meeeeoooowww"_

_Dingleberry._

I come to a stop right in the middle of the hallway, between mine and Edward's doors. The cat is laying down just looking at me. I decide, "what the fuck."

"You'll do I suppose."

I sit next to the damn hairball on the floor, and against my better judgement, start petting the fucker.

_Ohh, this isn't so bad_

The cat is purring and rubbing it's head against my hand, pushing itself into me, onto my lap. I feel wanted and it feels...amazing. I never had any pets as a child, I am now understanding the fascination. This is very relaxing. I start to speak to the cat...

"Yes, you like that don't you? You like me petting your furry little dingleberry head, don't you?" My voice gradually gets all high pitched and, I'm sure, annoying. "Such a cute little, furry dingleberry."

"Um, Bella?"

_Shit!_

I look up to see Edward standing at the top of the stairs with a huge grin on his face.

"You're not talking to _the cat_ are you?" And now he's laughing, just all out laughing. The cat scurries from my lap and is gone before I can turn my head.

"Edward! We were bonding, you scared him!"

Edward is now hunched over in hysterics.

I get up and try to brush off the large clumps of cat hair that are stuck to my black skirt. It's impossible.

_Screw it._

I remember why I am in the hallway in the first place, the excitement is back and I start swiftly walking toward's Edward's hunched over form. I can't wait to tell him my excellent news.

I am a few feet away, though, when I start to see a blonde head of hair ascending the stairs behind him.

"Edward, could you please slow down. I ..."

I'm just standing there, looking at probably the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And she is with Edward...and they are going to his apartment.

My good mood has deflated and I start to feel a little nauseous.

Edward looks back to the woman, still smiling, and then back to me.

"I'm sorry, that's just funny as hell. Hi, Bella."

I'm crushed. I'm sad. I'm...jealous as fuck.

_I'm getting the hell out of here._

Edward's smile falters and his expression changes.

"Oh hi...um, Edward. I was just...I'll just tell you about it tomorrow. No biggy." I wave my hand slightly at the woman and point my finger at Edward. All the while trying not to show the disappointment on my face.

"You have a good one, neighbor!" And then I turn around and walk swiftly to my apartment door.

**A/N**

**Poor Bella. :( MW2, help these two out would you!**

**Hee hee.**

**Word Prompt - "pustule"**

***rolling on the floor***

**Have fun with that one you little stinker!**

**Thanks for reading, everyone! xxxooo**


	12. Chapter 12

**ATS…seriously?...you chose "that" word for me?...well ok then….here it comes and me thinks someone is gonna "tune" Bella in a bit…..and why praytell is the girl jealous?...hmmmm….sugar and eggs indeed.**

**SM owns it all, even my allegiance. Carry on….**

**Ok..and here's the weekend deal…hubs is taking me away..and iffin' I can fix the major clusterfuck that just occurred with his reservations…we are still going..so may be incommunicado until Sunday night….everybody just HANG OUT….ok?..Fanks! MW2**

**Chapter 12 – Pustule (I got yer pustule…right here…)**

**Edward**

_Okay….what the fuck just happened? Bella was happy and then whammo….not so much. _I stood there for a moment, stunned and quite frankly stupefied. How did she go through that many emotions in the span of ten seconds?

"Oh shit… Edward….she thinks I'm with you." Rosalie appeared at the top of the landing finally and looked at me wide eyed.

"What?" was my brilliant reply.

"Bella thinks you are bringing me home."

"Well…I am..so what? We're having dinner with Emmett…where the hell else you supposed to be?" This made no fucking sense at all.

"Edward!" Rosalie smacked the back of my head. "Listen to me and hear it….Bella thinks you are _**bringing me home**_. Get it?" She raised her hands in the air for effect.

The light finally turned on inside my pea brain. _Aw fuck..wait…why would she even care?...her eyes…all happy to talk to me, then just…shit…she's gonna cry…damnit…_ "Rosalie, but that is the farthest thing from the truth, and how in God's name would you even know that…is it some woman voodoo code or something?"

"You're a friggin' genius Ed." Rosalie deadpans. "Listen dimwit….you've told me all about Bella the last few weeks….in fact that's all you talk about unless it's a case. So…if she's happy to see you, like radiant happy and then all of a sudden, she sees a strange woman…."

Rosalie let her words settle in before she started back up again. "You getting it now celibate boy?"

"But she doesn't like me like that Rose. She drew boundaries..hell, I don't even have her phone number yet…."

"HA…see?" Rosalie pointed in my face like she was some super sleuth.

"See what?...Rose what are you getting at?"

"That she most likely talks about _**you **_just as much as you do her. It was in her eyes Edward. She feels much more than just friendship…..just like you….Mr. "yet". …."

_Well hell…what am I gonna do now?...shit..just damn fuckity fuck._

"I see Rose…and if you are so damn smart….just how do you propose I fix this hairy ass mix up?"

"Watch and learn my man….and then when Emmett comes for dinner….Bella will truly see that I am not with your lame ass."

"Rose..no…wait…" I didn't know if this was the best thing…Bella was a _**leave me be for a while and I'll be ok**_ kinda girl…well, unless it was me trying to get her to stop running….but she didn't know Rose from Adam…so…this wasn't good.

"Edward…stand still, shut up and watch…." She went to the door and knocked on it. _Good luck there Rose…she's not gonna answer it…._

Rosalie stood there for a few minutes and knocked again. She turned to me winked and gave me a knowing smirk.

"What the hell Rose? …. I told you she's not gonna answer. If she's hurt like you said..or jealous…" I roll my eyes, because there is no way in hale Bella feels that way about me. She made it crystal clear there are limits….

"Patience Edward." Rosalie pounded harder this time. "Bella Swan….I am not leaving until you open this door. I know your name, and I know you make an awesome pizza, and that you giggle and your nose automatically wrinkles. I know that you like to run, that you laugh at scary movies and you make killer popcorn…..OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR." Rosalie looked back at me and nodded.

"Shit Rose….you probably scared her…you sounded like a stalker."

The door flies open and Rosalie smiles sweetly at Bella. "Forgive me Bella. We didn't get a chance to introduce ourselves. I'm Rosalie Hale. The _**Hale**_ portion in Cullen, Cullen and Hale. This doofus behind me has no clue and is typically male….so while he waits for Emmett to come for dinner…Em is my fiancé ….while he waits for him…I'd like to talk with you…get to know you better…okay?"

Rosalie allows no argument and gently, but firmly pushes Bella out of the doorway, so she can enter. Bella just stands there, mouth open, eyes wide, cat hair on her skinny, little, curve hugging, oh so nice skirt. _God she's gorgeous….but she doesn't like me like that_….Rose won't win this one. I wish she would though. I could use some help in the _**Bella department**_. I have never had a woman perplex me the way she does. Downright tongue ties me sometimes….like now.

Soon, Rosalie's hand comes up and grabs Bella from the doorway and she shuts the door.

"SHIT!" I yell out, kicking my leg in the air…. Then I still, wondering if they heard it from inside Bella's apartment. Turning to walk to my door, I see that cat sitting on my welcome mat. "Dingleberry….what brings your hairy ass around today?" _I'm only humoring the cat….I still don't like hairball coughing animals..they are like a boil on the butt of humanity…a huge yellow pustule just waiting to be popped and rid of. _

I open the door to my apartment and enter, wondering what is going on next door. I take my jacket off and sling it over the chair, going toward the wall that separates Bella and myself.

"What the fuckity fuck are they talking about over there…me….Bella….how I am a lame ass….Rose you better not ruin anything for me…I've got a new plan damn-it…." In my frustration, I hit the wall. "God damn…why the hell are women so fucking complicated?"

**Meanwhile….in Bella's apartment:**

"Bella, let's talk okay?" Rosalie is still smiling at me.

"Rosalie is it?" _Seriously….like I'm gonna sit here and listen to her talk …I just showed my damn cards and this could end badly._

"Yes…and you are Bella…let's cut to the chase shall we?" She is determined now, and it's scaring me a little.

"I don't see how…" I try to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.

"Yeah ya do Bella. Don't you find it odd that I know a lot about you?" She stopped for a minute and let the words sink in for me.

"Bella, you are all Edward talks about….all…Bella this and Bella that and Bella makes fucking awesome pizza and Bella's working at a paper, and she's gonna be a great editor one day…and Bella..Bella..Bella…"

_Shit….she knows all that?...damn. _I feel a little ping in my heart when I start to see what she's saying. _Could he…I mean…I am ..well…is it possible…cause he's so….and I'm…meh….but he's…those abs…I've seen his happy trail…the sink..he..under..and…he's funny and he's fuckhawt..that hair…there is no way he thinks of me like that….shit…maybe?_

"Don't mean to force you to quit your lovestruck inner monologue, but dinner's soon and I'm getting hungry…so here's the dealio girl….you paying attention?"

Rose is a force to be reckoned with. "Excuse me Rosalie….I'm sorry…what were you saying?"

"Yeah..uh huh…that's what I thought…okay…Bella…" Rose grabbed my shoulders and forced my eyes to look directly into hers.

"Bella, you like him as much as he does you. When you both just get over the jr. high antics and admit it….all will go so much better. So, realize please….that I am not with him….I love his brother…and by all accounts…Edward would never like me like that anyway….you seem to be the bright spot in his eyes girlie."

"Rose, I just….no…he's…all…messy hair fuckhawt..and…happy…." Shit…I shut my mouth before I could totally vomit all my inner thoughts…a girl is allowed some secrets.

"Uh huh…I hear you girl….keep talking….let it out…it's liberating….and once you admit it…you can fix the problem no?" Rose gave me a pointed look.

"Lady..I don't even know you…you've been kind…but what's in this for you?" I suddenly became suspicious…._what are her intentions?...no girl as beautiful as she is this nice…just doesn't happen._

The wall suddenly vibrates with a loud thump and I hear "fuckity fuck". I giggle and then straighten up…catching myself….but not before Rosalie saw it.

"I saw that girlfriend…and not a damn thing is in it for me Bella….I'm just tired of seeing Edward not enjoy life. When he talks about you, he smiles….he enjoys talking about you…which clearly means….he wants to enjoy you….you feel me here?"

"Rose…I am not a …I don't make friends easily…I keep to myself…I'm pretty much a loner."

"Bullshit…that's been an excuse. No more lady…uh uh…Here's what's gonna happen this evening…" Rosalie sees my phone on the table and snatches it. She puts Edward's number in the contact list and texts him before I can grab it from her.

"What the fuck Rosalie?"

"You can just call me Rose if you want…I like you….and I did what you have been wanting to for a long…long…long time….admit it."

"OH shit what have I got myself into?" I sat down at the kitchen table for a minute to get my bearings. "Rose…what did you text Edward?" _not sure if I really wanna know…._

"I fixed your clusterfuck with doofus. You are sorry you thought the wrong thing, and Rose invited you over for dinner…you hope that is ok, and for the quick notice….you'll bring that chocolate caramel cake."

"What?...Rose..I don't have time…"

"Yes you do…and notice please that you didn't decline…or have a problem with anything I said…you are more worried about actually making the dessert….Bella, you can lie to yourself…you can hide it from Edward…but I know….admit it to yourself and get it over with…"

I just sat there stunned. _Who the hell is this woman with her voodoo fuckity fuck magic coming in here bossing me around…and damn-it..she's right_….

"Well then Ms. Hale….seems you have a dessert to prepare." _ Ya..take that you matchmaking wench…._

"OH no Bella….no can do..see these?" she showed me her nicely done French tips. "I can't harm these little boogers….Emmett likes his back scratches…so…I'll supervise…you bake…C'mon…let's get crack-a-lackin….."

**Back at Edwards apartment: **

After I hit the wall, I heard it…pretty girl's giggle…._maybe Rose pulled one out of her ass…hmm…_

My cell phone vibrates with an incoming text soon after and I pick it up to find an unknown number. Curiosity gets the better of me and I open it….SHIT…OH SHIT….I'm bouncing…Rosalie DID pull one out of her ass…the text is from Bella. Before I can read it, the door knocker clanks and I hear Emmett.

"Little Pig…Little Pig…let me in…I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your fucking house in…Edward open up the damn door…I'm loaded with food and if I drop it on this damn cat out here…."

I swing open the door and roll my eyes at Em…he's suck a friggin kid…well, about 250 lbs of pure muscle, friggin kid…

I help bring the bags in. Thai food…..oh yum. Forgetting him for a moment, I look out the door to see Dingleberry just sitting there looking up at me.

"No food for you kitty….go away."

I shut the door and turn to see Emmett reading my text from Bella. "The hell?"

Emmett snickers and holds my phone up so I can't get to it. I may be tall, but he can touch the damn 10 ft ceilings without standing on his toes. _Friggin hairy giant…_

"Eddie and Bella sittin' in a tree…k i s s i n g…." Emmett dances around a bit, before he fully reads the text. "Hey..Eddie ….did you read the text from Bella?...she's bringing dessert…YUM."

"Give me the phone you douche."

"Now …now…Eddie….don't be so childish…I've brought dinner after all…and just because you've become a celibate monk doesn't mean…." If Rosalie knew my feelings for Bella, then Emmett did too…..he was pretty smart for a fuckwit.

"Say….here's a thought for your testicles Eddie….Bella is the only woman you've been willingly celibate for you realize that?..you were faithful to the dragon lady….but you've never had a _**friend**_ that was a girl…and not fucked her…what's up with that my swollen sack man?

I punched him in the gut and took my phone back, running to the bathroom. Sue me…Em brings out the seventh grader in me.

I divert from the bathroom at the last moment and go into my bedroom where there is a lock on the door. Emmett's been known to sneak up on someone and pull an undie-grundie…I am in no mood for his antics tonight. As I read the text I could hear the front door opening and Rosalie's voice….then I heard Emmett's big booming one….and… _oh shit…what have I got myself into?_

"So Bella" that big ass voice booms and I'm afraid to come out of the bedroom.

"Whatcha got there?"

She talks so soft I almost don't hear it. "Chocolate caramel cake."

"Well, Bella….I'm Emmett…Edward's brother. It's nice to finally meet you." _OH fuck me…he's brought out Mr. Polite…this is not gonna be pretty…I just hope Rose sticks up for Bella….or that Bella can hold her own._

"It's nice to meet you too. I hope you like chocolate caramel cake."

"Oh I'm sure I will Bella." Emmett's just getting wound up. I try to get the door open before she can respond and sink herself further in his messed up mind game. "But not as much as Eddie does right?"

Then I hear her…my Bella…_shit..not my Bella…she doesn't belong to me…just BELLA…._I hear Bella….and I come down the hallway just in time to see her give him the _**eye**_ and state clearly…. "Oh fuckity fuck." _That's my girl….._

**A/N….Whew….that one was fun…who the hell knows what Emmett will get himself into…but we do know one thing…Bella can hold her own against the gentle giant.**

**ATS…..you ready?...LOL…pustule…WTF..ok lady….here it is…**

**KY Jelly**

**Rots of Ruck ATS….*cackles and walks away….***


	13. Chapter 13

**MW2 has started a war, people. It actually should have started with "dingleberry" (I mean _come on_!) , but I am a very calm person so I let that one slide. Then, she decides to give me tampon and now KY Jelly...yup, it's war. Just wait until you see the whopper I gave her for the next chapter. I can't stop laughing. Read to the end and you shall see. Hee hee...**

**MW2, kiss my booty. :p**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all. **

**Chapter 13 – Word Prompt: KY Jelly (So dead)**

**Bella**

It's weird I tell you...just weird.

One minute I'm sitting in my apartment, pouting and jealous, the next I'm stuck in a whirlwind of

Cullen/ Hale. I don't know what the _hale_ is going on exactly, but apparently I'm having dinner with Edward and his brother and sister-in-law. Oh, and somewhere in the mix of it all, I made a cake.

_Strange._

It's awkward as fuck, I'm totally out of my comfort zone and I'm not quite sure how to act.

_Edward likes me._

What does that mean exactly? I know he likes me as a friend but is there more to it, would he like to see me naked? Do _I _want to see him naked?

_Um, yeah._

But it's been a really long time since I've had a physical relationship with anyone. There's all of this glorious man candy around me in the form of my boss, Jasper, and now Edward. Is it just my hormones that are driving this?

_Um, could be._

This is crazy, it's not right. No, I need to go back to my apartment and away from this bazaar situation.

_I have a 5" Rabbit Habit and a bottle of KY Jelly, I don't need a man._

I'm prepared to just hand over the cake and go back home. I can call Edward tomorrow, Rose programed his number into my phone so we're all set. That's all this was really about anyway, I just wanted to tell Edward my good news. I didn't need to see him in person to do that. I wouldn't even be going through any of this had I had his damn phone number.

_But why did I react the way I did...so jealous?_

I don't know, but it doesn't matter. Edward is my neighbor, he's going through a rough time with his ex-wife, he's an attorney who is probably busy as hell. Why would he want to get involved with someone like me? He's always pointing out how young I am. There's no way he thinks of me in a romantic way...it's impossible.

_But why would Rose say all of those things, why would Edward talk about me to her?_

I'm brought out of my internal bullshit by the huge man standing in front of me, Emmett's his name and he's Edward's brother. We say our 'hellos' and I hand over the cake. He makes a comment about the cake and Edward, it's full of innuendo and I'm just looking at him like he's speaking a different language or something. He's waggling his eyebrows at me.

"Oh fuckity fuck" I say under my breath.

I roll my eyes and before I get the chance to turn around and leave, Edward comes out from the back of the apartment. He looks just as uncomfortable as I am. I look back to Emmett and am startled to see him looking back at me with a huge grin on his face.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I say in annoyance.

He just chuckles. "Oh Bella, Bella, Bella, you are everything I imagined you'd be and more."

_Huh?_

Not a second later, I'm lifted off the floor and getting the breath squeezed out of me.

"Uhhhh, c-an't breath, Em-mett."

"Emmett, dammit, put Bella down." Rose says from her spot on the sofa.

"Bella, you'll have to excuse my brother and Rose." Edward says as he glares at them from across the room. "Apparently they are under the misapprehension that they can control my life."

_What? I knew it, he is just as uncomfortable about this as I am. This is a bad idea._

"Edward, I can just go." I start.

"NO!" All three of them yell in unison.

Startled, I look around the room at all of them.

"Bella, sit down." Rose demands.

I look at her, because _really_, you think you can talk to me like that? I don't even know you and you're pushing your way into my apartment, making me admit things that I'm not ready to admit yet...forcing me to make cake. Now you tell me to sit like a fucking dog? I_ don't think so!_

"Nuh uh, you guys go ahead with your family dinner here." I look at Edward, "I will call you tomorrow, okay?"

Edward shakes his head and then runs his hands over the light scruff on his chin. "Bella, can I talk to you for a minute in the hallway?" He looks at me pleadingly.

_Oh good, one step closer to getting away from here._

"Sure." I'm already reaching for the doorknob.

"But Edward, you..." Rose's words are cut off by an annoyed Edward.

"Knock it off, Rose." And then he's got his head turned to her and is mouthing something. I can't make it out. I do manage to hear him say _"fucking plan" _under his breath though and now I am really curious.

Rose sits back on the sofa with her arms folded across her chest, a little smirk on her face. Emmett just licked his finger and is now dragging it over the top of the cake, gathering caramel and then bringing it back up to his mouth.

_Eeeew..._

I'm still looking at him in disgust as Edward opens the door and shuffles me out into the hall. After it's closed behind us, he's leaning his back against it, putting his face in his hands and just standing there like a statue. I'm looking back and forth from my door to Edward, gauging how difficult it would be to make it to my apartment before Edward can tear his face away from his hands. I'm fast, I can do it.

I start lightly rocking from foot to foot, fully prepared to launch myself down the hall. Until I look to my right and see the fucking cat sitting there in my path. He's looking at me...just daring me to do it, with this evil glint in his eyes.

_Little fucker._

I look back at Edward and he's looking right at me.

_Shit. _

"Bella, I want to apologize for Rose and Emmett. They can be...well they mean well, really they do, but their methods can be a little..."

"Odd... pushy... annoying?" I supply

"Yeah," he chuckles, "I guess. Look, they just really care about me and can't stand to see me alone. I work long hours and never really do anything fun. Also, this thing with Angela has really taken it's toll on me, more so than even I have been able to admit. I guess I talk about you a lot because you really are the only light in my life right now. They see it all and this is just their way of trying to help. They really do mean well, but I'm so sorry you got stuck in the middle of their crazy shenanigans."

I look down at my feet. This is exactly what I thought, there is no way he was ever considering me in a romantic sense. I'm good for a few laughs and a wave in the hall. I'm such an idiot for even considering it would be more than that.

"But Bella, " and now he's stepping closer to me. "Although they probably went about all of this the wrong way, I do think they've forced me to realize some things."

I'm stuck in place just looking at him.

"Realize what? What are you realizing?" I whisper.

Slowly, Edward walks closer to me; he reaches out, takes me by the shoulders and then guides me where he wants me. Soon I am in his previous spot, up against the door, with his hands on either side of my head...caging me in.

"I've realized that I _really_ don't like it when you run from me."

"You don't?" I breathe.

He shakes his head 'no' and then leans down and runs his nose along the side of my face, inhaling as he goes. My legs are starting to shake and I'm finding it difficult to breathe.

"I've realized that I _really_ like being around you."

_Oh gosh, he sooo wants to see me naked. _

"You want to see me naked don't you?"

_Shit, I just said that out loud!_

Edward just takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, he's frozen and conflicted. When he opens his eyes several seconds later, there is determination in them. They are darker and completely focused...on my mouth.

"Bella, I realized that I _really_ want to explore this...these feelings I'm having." He looks up and deeply into my eyes. "What do you think about that?"

I just look at him in stunned silence. _It's that damn morphine touch again...and his smell, ohhhh his smell, the eyes...uhhhh._

Edward looks down and starts to let his hands drop from the door, and the sides of my head. I realize that it's time for me to speak up before my silence gives him the wrong idea.

I lift my hand and push his chin up so that he is looking at me again. "I want that too Edward."

And before I even have a chance to say any more, his mouth is on mine. Soft but insistent, he's breathing in deeply and moaning. I feel like my body is melting into the door. I have never felt this way when a man has kissed me before.

Pulling away much too soon for my liking, he gently pushes my hair behind my ears and just smiles. It is the most relaxed I think I've ever seen him and I'm sure he can see the same when he looks at my face. We are going to explore things. We are on the same page.

Suddenly, Edward looks as if he has just remembered something and it snaps me out of my stupor.

"You had something to tell me earlier didn't you, that's why you were waiting for me in the hallway?" He's so perceptive. I smile and sigh, "yes." I look down shyly. I tell him about my, sort of, promotion at work and how excited I am. Just like earlier, in his apartment, I feel as my body is lifted off of the floor and the breath is being squeezed from me.

"Bella, that's wonderful news...I'm so proud of you." And that is exactly what I was needing. Edward releases me from the hug and gently holds my face in his large hands. "So proud" he says, before he kisses me again sweetly.

Both of us are smiling at each other, just standing there, when he says, "Well now we _really_ have some things to celebrate tonight don't we? We better get back in there before my brother eats all of the food." He says with a chuckle and I am still just a ball of goo inside so I nod and move away from the door so he can open it. Before walking in though, I scan the hallway... there is no sign of the cat.

**A/N**

**Okay, so we have some progress here. Let's see where my partner in crime takes it next. It's going to be a couple of days before MW2 gets her update out, she is away with her hubby for a romantic weekend...doing a little, _ah hem,_ research for the lemons I'm sure she will be writing soon. (Oh lord help us.)**

**Word prompt for the little ho :**

"**crapkin"**

**War...hee hee**


	14. Chapter 14

**A war?...I started a war?...oh ATS my dear, me thinks it was a creative push for you to let your freak flag go and write some wonderful smut. *looks pointedly at ATS*. What could I do other than to **_**lube**_** the way for you with KY Jelly? **

**Ok dear ones, here we go and, um, ATS?...I won't use the two double worder's hubs gave you earlier today….you can save them for later, but the word at the end….ya…that's all him. He knows who butters his bread. Just sayin'…..**

**Enjoy peoples, and Smut alert….put your "mature" glasses on, as it will commence somewhere in this chapter.**

**AND..*sidebar*…the weekend away was a much needed, much relaxing vaca. Full…chock FULL of research….to be kept in the smut vault and used very, very, very soon…..those crazy kids below…they have no clue about what we are gonna make them do….*evil cackle***

**SM owns all twilight stuff.**

**Chapter 14 – Crapkin (is that like a poopy napkin?)**

**Edward**

Thank God dinner was quiet. Emmett was too busy stuffing his face and by the time we got to Bella's chocolate caramel cake, he was purring like that scraggly cat outside.

Rose, being the nosy busybody she is, decided we needed to watch a movie. I think it was her way of sobering up Emmett. Bad move. Movies and over-beered Emmett make for craptastic commentary during a film.

He was in rare form tonight too. Between trying to imitate the voices of every character in _**A Clash of the Titans**_, he asked Bella some very personal questions.

"Bella, when was the first time you kissed a boy?"

"Em…stop, I'm trying to watch this movie." Rose tried to distract him right off the bat.

"Bella…when was the first time you farted in public?"

"Emmett, this really isn't necess…." I broke in, but the butthead wouldn't stop.

"Bella, you ever had sex on the beach?"

"Say what?" Bella had hit her limit with that one, and if someone didn't stop him, there was no telling where it was gonna go. "That's personal Emmett."

She looked truly disgusted for a moment, then dickwad struck again….

"Bella….I meant the drink..but.._OH_..you have had sex on a beach then..in the biblical sense…who was it?" Emmett sat straight up and leaned forward, awaiting some great oracle of truth from Bella.

"Emmett, could you be anymore crass?" Rose shouted and then smacked him in the back of the head. That seemed to settle his ass down for a moment, and we trained our attention back to the movie.

"Release the Crapkin." Emmett's voice boomed throughout the apartment.

"Are you for real?" Bella was on her feet, pointing at Emmett, and he looked a little scared if you ask me.

"What Bellabeaner?" Emmett chuckled at his own nickname for her.

"It's not Crapkin you dickhead…it's _**Crackin**_. Release the Crackin."

"That's what I said. Did you like that deep voice I said it in?" He grinned at her and I swear if she wasn't polite, she would have beaned him with the pillow.

"You said **Crapkin **you idiot. Good Lord Emmett, how much have you had to drink?"

"Apparently not enough," was Em's witty reply.

Bella smacked her forehead, and I thought maybe now would be a good time to help her plan an escape.

"Okay everybody….its about Em's bedtime dontcha think Rose?" She looked over at me a slow smile creeping up her face.

"Yeah, Edward I do. C'mon Em…time to go nitey nite." She got up and helped me quickly clear the bottles and trash from the living room.

Emmett just stood there, looking all around not really seeing anything. "So..Bella…"

_Aw fuck, here we go again_. In an attempt to keep his mouth shut, Rose reached over and pulled his face to her's, giving Emmett a thorough kiss. It worked. Stunned Emmett put his jacket on then in a moment of drunken clarity; he remembered he had a question for Bella.

"Bella, you like that song by TaeKwonDo?"

"What….who is TaeKwonDo?" Bella just had to give in to the _**masterfuckwithme**_ man.

"Ya, that song… _**Everybody in the club get chips**_. They must be really hungry." Emmett stopped for a moment, looking down at his shoes intensely.

Bella's face contorted a bit, confusion settling in before she realized what he was saying. Why it angered her, I do not know, except that she once again gave into the mindfuck beast that is Emmett.

"It's not TaeKwonDo you goof. It's J-Kwon, and it's _**Everybody in the club gets tipsy**_, not everybody in the club gets chips." She rolled her eyes and clenched her fists. It was rather amazing to watch actually. A woman of lesser intestinal fortitude would have punched him and walked away long before this.

"That's what I said Bellerbeaner." Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at her. "I like that song by Bowel Movement too. He nodded his head for effect.

"What the hell…?" Bella's good nature wasn't gonna last much longer, and I had to intervene.

"Em, now's the time to say good night. You and Bella can talk about music another time buddy."

"Eddie…Eddie..Eddie my man….that song ..you know…. "Like a cheese stick." Rose had pushed Emmett toward the door and he looked back at me like I'd get what he was saying.

"What...Em...you mean, _**Like a G6**_?" Somehow, I got sucked into the fuckwithme vortex, and Emmett knew it. He liked playing this game, and it sucked.

"Night everybody. Bella, I apologize for fuckwit here, and hopefully we haven't ruined any future time spent with you. I like you Bella, I hope the feeling is mutual for the most part. Don't let _**Mr. Fuckwithme**_ get the best of you. He enjoys tripping people up, makes him feel more intelligent."

With that, Rose pushed Emmett out the door and I heard it close. I looked over at Bella and raised my hands part way in the air as a sign of surrender. I didn't expect her reaction.

"Edward, how in the hell did you get a brother that is so far out there reality is not a possibility?"

She made me laugh out loud. I liked that about her. I liked just about everything I've experienced so far about Bella. I could do without the nails digging into my neck, but other than that….I liked it all.

Outside earlier, I was afraid I would scare her off, or that Rose had read her wrong, and I was right and she didn't like me like that. I couldn't help staring at her mouth. _Those pretty little rose colored lips were begging me to kiss them. Lick them….nibble._ Just thinking about her lips and mouth had my southern region rising like the sun and I needed to get it in control. The _**plan**_ stated slow. No sudden movements, take everything slowly. If this was going to work for both of us, slow needed to be the speed.

I shook myself out of thinking about _**slow**_ for a moment to see Bella fiddling with the DVD player.

"Here, you don't have to do that Bella. I can get it."

"It's alright Edward. I want to help." She looked up to me and smiled, then put her head down.

"Hey….what's going on in there?" I tapped her head lightly with my finger and she raised her head to look into my eyes.

"You think we are making a mistake Edward? Maybe it would be best if we just stayed friends." Bella was unsure. She was gonna run, and I couldn't have that. _Fix it fast asswipe…before you lose any chance you have._

"Bella, I think if we just take it slow…enjoy each other's company like we have been, and when the feeling is right, take it a bit further. Let's just stay the course and see where it goes. I would never do anything to purposely hurt you, and I don't plan on dating others while we do see where this is going. I'm not built like that pretty girl." I gave her what was hopefully my honest look, because I was being honest…painfully honest.

"Edward, I trust you. You've given me no reason not to. I am just scared. I'm not date slash girlfriend or whatever you want to call it material. This is new for me. I tried it once…or thought I did, and it ended miserably. I can't be taken advantage of like that again." Bella sat down on the couch and slumped a bit. _Nope…Edward….we can't have the defeatist attitude….fix it buddy._

"Bella, you have been the only real bit of good and light in my life for a very long time. You are interesting, and witty, and silly and you make me smile….it makes me proud you want to get to know me…does that make sense?"

She looked up at me and nodded, biting her bottom lip. _Damn that lip….I want to taste it too. _I continued on before she could run on me though.

"So…I think…if we just go slowly, with what we are comfortable with, it will be good in the long run. Don't you?"

Bella nodded and smiled at me. _Oh Thank Fuck…okay…I can work with this. Just remember sllllloooooowwww Edward…slow._

"It's late Bella, maybe…um…well …I know you are only down the hall, but could I walk you home?" Everything about that felt cheesy, but maybe…maybe.

"Yeah….Yeah, Edward, you can." Bella smiled at me and stood up, gathering her cake container.

I walked her down to her door, intent on seeing her in and calmly walking back to my door. Then I would go in the bathroom, and calmly take off my clothes and get in the shower….and ya…take care of business.

Fate and that mangy orange cat had other plans though.

We stopped at her door and she turned to face me. "Edward, despite your brother's rather fascinating conversation….I had a really good time. Thank you." She leaned up to kiss my cheek, and instinct took over. _Fuck slow._ I pushed her back against the door and cradled her face with my hands. She was startled for about two seconds then I felt arms wrap around my neck and tug at the hair back there. _Oh shit..she's a hair puller….dayum…god so sexy._

Before I could stop the _**non slow**_, she reached behind her with one hand and opened the door, throwing us both inside and onto the floor. Another two seconds and I had us both off the floor and kicked the door shut, all the while holding her to me and never breaking that fucking fantastic kiss.

Bella seemed to throw caution to the wind as she jumped up and threw her legs around me. I was being driven purely by nature, and nature suggested the kitchen counter. I plopped her ass up there and spread her legs, stepping in between them.

I'm not sure if it was the beer we had, the talk we had, or us both tired of denying ourselves. Didn't matter anyway, I had her shirt undone and her bra unlatched before she could make a move for my pants.

"Oh God Edward….so good…..your hands on my …so good…harder…pinch my nipples harder." _Fuck ya…do what the lady says man…go..do…be…taste them…go on…_

A few more minutes and the gentleman in me was out the window as I ravaged her tits. Wait….she didn't have _**tits**_….Bella has breasts…she's a lady..not some hoebag at the bar…breasts..she has breasts..and what glorious breasts they are….let me tell you….OK..I digress…

It didn't take long for her to tug and pull at my hair, and that set the monster inside free and I pulled her to me and pushed into her center….showing her just how much of a man I am.

I chanced a look at her and her eyes, full of lust, said it all. I grabbed Bella by the ass carrying her to her bedroom. She was sucking on my neck, and I couldn't get in the bedroom door fast enough. Once there, I tossed her on the bed and landed on top of her, rubbing for all it was worth. I hadn't dry humped a girl since the ninth grade, but this …this was fucking amazing.

Bella was grinding right back, giving as good as she got. A few more minutes of this and I knew I was gonna go off. I could see it in her eyes….she was close too. I leaned down and kissed her tenderly, trying to maintain some decency since I'd been ravishing her body like a man starved.

Then…I heard it…a long, slow buzzing sound. _Fuck…this is damn good…I'm hearing things._ I tried to ignore it and kissed her some more, running my kisses down her neck to her breasts. Bella was tugging my hair again, and I knew…a few more seconds and that would be it. Then we heard it again…it was louder though….and a different kind of buzz…almost had a beat to it.

Suddenly, Bella shot up and pushed me off of her, looking around frantically. "Bella…what's the…"

"Oh shit..just…fuckity fuck." Was her reply. She looked scared. I searched the room and didn't see anything, but something must have frightened her.

"What..Bella, what's wrong…and what the hell is that buzzing?"

Bella jumped off the bed, searching the floor. She dropped down to her knees and looked under the bed. "OH MY GOD…FUCK…DAMN…SHIT ON A STICK."

She was upset…and my boner had shrunk…Bella was scaring me now. "Bella…" I stopped her, dropping to knee level on the carpet and followed her eyes. That fucking, mangy ass cat was under the bed.

With Bella's vibrator.

Bella was five shades of beet red now, and I couldn't help it…I laughed. I laughed long and hard. She looked at me mortified. "Oh shit..Bella, I wasn't laughing at you…or the fact that you own a vibrator…in fact that's fuckhawt, and I want to use that little toy with you….soon."

I gave her a moment to absorb what I was saying, and know she didn't need to feel embarrassed or ashamed….cause the thought she used a vibrator…and since she's known me…and knowing now that she likes me…oh ya….fuckhawt.

"It's the fact that that damn, mangy ass cat has once again interfered. It's like kismet or something …you ever notice that? How did the cat even get in here…and how did it get your toy?"

Bella's face returned to normal, and she actually saw the humor in the situation. She grabbed the vibrator from the cat and he pushed his paw at her. It was pretty chewed up. We'd have to buy a new one.

Laughing finally, Bella threw the toy on the bed and turned to me. "I have no clue. I keep that thing in my nightstand. I don't know how the cat got it…or got into my apartment to begin with. Shit…I just bought that one."

Her words weren't lost on me. "That one?"

"Well…yes..um..shit….look in my nightstand if you don't believe me. She walked away, toward the bathroom and a trash can.

Curiosity got the better of me, and since we are being honest with each other….shit..was she hot..just fuckhawt…all of it…total package. So I opened the drawer. Fucking Motherload.

She not only had a few more vibrators, but there was little bullets in there, and a curved dildo and …and….holy shit. She had an arsenal. I sooooo couldn't wait to play with these toys..and Bella.

"So…we are being honest with each other right Edward?...and this is truly a new stretch of territory for me….I am scared shitless…BUT...I'll go this road with you, because I trust you…no holds barred right?...OK then….You've seen mine…now show me yours."

"What?...I don't have any toys Bella." I was perplexed. Men didn't usually have toys unless they were …well…you know. "I don't have any toys, but Bella…I would gladly buy some for you….or..um..us?"

"Edward, you know that I self pleasure…surely you do too. What do you use?"

I lifted my hand and turned it around. "This." I suddenly felt like it was _**me **_who was the more inexperienced one.

"That's all?" Bella looked at me like perhaps she didn't believe it.

"Ya..that and my mind. I visualize."

"Hm….well Edward….I guess when _**we**_ she pointed to both of us, "go buy a new vibrator, we are going to have to buy you a toy too 'eh?" She had an ornery glint in her eye.

"No ass plugs, beads or anything like that…I don't let people invade that territory Bella…I'm not into that shit…and I gotta tell ya…this is seriously uncomfortable for me right now….you?"

"It is..but if we are going to be honest and move forward…and if we can do what we just did…and if you can see my toys and call it fuckhawt….well, then we need to be grown up about it and talk."

She was right. Can't be a grown up and do grown up things if you can't talk about it. Especially if you are into the person you need to be talking to about it.

"Deal." I stood up and closed the drawer.

"Edward, tonight was more than wonderful, but we both have an early morning, and well..I hate to say goodnight this way, but maybe we should. We both have a lot to think about."

"You're right Bella. Walk me to the door?"

Bella grabbed my hand and smiled at me. _Such a beautiful smile, and damn…we gotta slow it down a bit or we'll both regret it. This one is special…I can feel it._

I stood at her door, balanced on the frame and looked at her once more. "Good night pretty girl. I had the best time with you. All of it. I wouldn't have changed a thing. See you tomorrow? What are you doing for lunch? I could bring it to you. I'd like to see where you work." I was rambling like a six year old, but I didn't care. Her smile was worth it.

Bella smiled that smile just for me and nodded. "That would be great Edward. Come around noon?"

I nodded and leaned into kiss her once more. A slow soft kiss, barely capturing her lips. A kiss that spoke of what was to come. "Night pretty girl."

As I turned to go to my apartment, the cat darted out of Bella's. It looked at me and winked and sauntered away….to where I do not know.

**A/N**

**So, in everybody's smut life, a little trouble must fall, BUT…that was just an appetizer….I'm sure Edward and Bella will let their own freak flags outta the closet soon and it will be a "no holds barred" kinda night…**

**ATS…..Your word is….it's….um….ready? …*opens envelope* and the winner is….**

**super-califrag-ilistic-expiali-docious**

** *grins widely at ATS*… "Baby..that's ONE word….**

**Hahahahahahahahaha…..*snort, giggle and snicker*"**


	15. Chapter 15

**Alright, you say it's not war, MW2...uh huh. Yup...ooookkaaayy. * Coughs* _bullshit. :) _It's alright ...I still love ya.**

**Let's get on with it then. I have attempted to write my first lemon, let me know whatcha think. _Pretty please?_**

**Disclaimer: SM, yeah, she owns it all. Am I telling you something you don't already know? Nope, that's what I thought.**

**Chapter 15 – **super-califrag-ilistic-expiali-docious** (stink-eye)**

**Bella**

The door is closed, and I am leaning against it struggling to regain my composure after what just happened with Edward. It's difficult because I can't stop feeling his hands on me, his mouth..._ohhh his mouth._

_He said for us to take it slow, right? _

Yeah, he said "Let's take it slow" and then there was the countertop...and...nipples...yes my nipples made an appearance. Then crotch grinding. Then...

_Wait, did that all really happen?_

I reach down to find that my pelvic bone is quite tender.

_Yup, grindage happened._

Then I think about what Edward saw in my drawer and have to cover my heated face.

_Oh god._

I tried to play off that him seeing my toy chest was no big deal but in actuality, I'm scared to death that he thinks I'm a horny, self lovin freak.

_Well, that is what you are. _

"Shut it." I say to my conscience and then head back to my bedroom, turning lights off as I go. When I reach my room, I immediately blush at the memories of what happened in here. I'm smiling despite myself and running my finger tips over my mouth, remembering how it felt to have Edward's lips there. I slowly run my hands over my body, the familiar ache reignites and I am seriously considering grabbing something from the drawer to alleviate it. If that damn cat hadn't gotten in and started playing "chew the dildo", who knows how far Edward and I would have gone.

_Should I be thanking that pesky feline or kicking his furry ass?_

Probably both.

I walk over to the treasure trove of fun and grab my second favorite toy. Then I glance at the 5" Rabbit Habit that is covered in chew marks and virtually destroyed.

I swear that cat is up to something.

_Nah._

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

"So, you're actually going _out_ to lunch today?" Jessica chuckles in disbelief.

"Why yes, Jessica, as hard as it is to believe, I have successfully landed a lunch date." I try to be flippant, but on the inside I am fuming at the gall of this bitch. She's one to talk with her frizzy 80's hair and fake bake tan. Like _she _could get a man. I roll my eyes. Who the hell does she think she is..._fucking Debbie Gibson wanna be. _

"Oh _really, _is it your brother or something? Wait, is it that guy from the tenth floor...what's his name?" She's tapping her long ass red nails against her chin and I want to pluck each of those fuckers off and shove them up her...

"Eric! Yeah, you are going to lunch with Eric aren't you? I can see that, he really seems to be your type Bella." She snickers.

Eric Yorkie, he's the IT guy from the tenth floor. Nice guy, _really_, but his face kinda looks like it went through the meat grinder. Oh, and he has a gimpy hand.

_How the hell he works the computer keyboard, I will never understand._

I'm about two seconds away from cutting a bitch so I sing, super-califrag-ilistic-expiali-docious, in my head to distract myself. My internal "Mary Poppins" moment is halted, however, when I look over and Jessica's facial expression changes. It goes from that of complete cockiness to a drooling love struck idiot.

I turn my head to see what the hell she is looking at, and I see Edward strolling down the aisle towards

my cubicle with a smile as bright as the sun. I look around with pride only to notice that every female in my viewing distance has the same facial expression as Jessica.

_Damn, I hope I don't look that stupid when I look at him._

Edward approaches my cubicle and puts both arms on top of the halfwall, resting his face on them. He looks at me with complete adoration, and I find myself trying to find my legs...I think they melted...along with my vagina.

"Hi." He breathes.

"Hi yourself." I say. My cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling so big.

"You ready?" He asks as he looks at his watch, "We don't have much time and I have a surprise for you." He says with a waggle of his eyebrows.

_Sigh _

"_Sigh"_ I hear from the entire female population of the office...and Mike Newton who's sitting directly behind Edward with a clear view of his ass.

I walk around the wall and right up to _my man._

"Bye Jess!" I say with so much enthusiasm that I'm confident she feels even more worthless and pathetic.

She just looks at me with her mouth hanging open.

"Let's go." I say as I grab Edward's hand and we walk to the reception area elevators, smiling at each other the entire way.

Once we reach the doors I turn back towards the office fully expecting to see everyone watching, what I do see instead, causes me to pause.

Standing in the doorway to his office is Jasper, looking at me and Edward with an unusual expression on his face.

_Is he, what...disappointed...jealous?_

_Huh._

Edward and I are in the elevator and no sooner do the doors close, I feel as I am being pressed against the wall. One hand is holding my head, the other, my ass...lips are attacking my mouth, erection is pressing into me deliciously.

"Mmmm...I have been dying to do this all day." He kisses down the side of my face, then my neck, "I am so glad that you wanted to go out to lunch instead of staying in the office to eat." Now the hand that was holding my head, is palming my breast, thumb rubbing over my hardening nipple.

"Ahhh...oh god...oh god..." I practically cry. I'm looking down at his hand and his body as it rubs against me. It becomes too much for me and I have to lay my head against the wall and close my eyes.

"Look at me, pretty girl." Edward whispers, and when I do, my legs just about give out on me. Dark, lust filled eyes look back at me. There is an ache running through my entire body, I am feeling hot and desperate. I sense that he is feeling exactly the same way.

"Edward." I breathe as he continues his assault on my neck and body.

"Mmm hmm" he answers distractedly.

"Edward...cameras. There are...cameras in th-e elevator."

"Mmm hmm...fuck the cameras." He growls and I can feel his hand descend lower and into the front of my skirt. Hand and fingers explore the outside of my panties as I battle with myself to make him stop.

"Edward...oh god...we have to..."

"Mmmm nooo, I can't stop...mmm want...you..." He is lost in me.

It takes every last bit of strength I have to say my next words...

"Edward...t-too fast...slow down."

And just like that everything stops, except for our heavy breathing. Edward puts his forehead to mine and squeezes his eyes shut like he's in excruciating pain. We stand like that for a few seconds until the elevator comes to a stop and we must separate. I don't know what we were thinking getting into it so heavily in here, maybe the thrill of the doors opening? I don't know, but as we prepare to leave the elevator, Edward looks at me sheepishly.

"I'm sorry." He says, searching my eyes for acceptance. I just look back at him and smile.

"Don't you _dare_ apologize." I say as I reach up to kiss him on the lips softly.

**A/N**

**Alright MW2, take these kids to lunch already... they have to be _starving. _**

**Word Prompt:**

"**bibliobibuli"**  
><strong>And don't make up your own definition bb, look it up! LOL! Heee heeeeeee<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**OH gurl…I looked it up…I did..and dang…it fits perfectly for where Edward is taking Bella for lunch..LMAO… I gladly accept this challenge….and that word dearie is actually a combination of a Greek word: Biblio or books and the Latin: Bibulous/Bibere or drink and that = book drunk…or a person who likes to read books so much….they over imbibe….on the books. But you knew this didn't you?..sneaky shit.**

**You be a smurt cookie dere bb….made me work for it this time…that's ok though….made me smurterererer too….hahahahaha.**

**Same dame SM owns what she did in all the chapters before this.**

**Nicely done lemon girlie..let's see if I can shake the tree, or they are still unripe.**

**Chapter 16 – bibliobibuli (try to mess with my pea brain why dontcha?)**

**Edward**

I looked at the clock for the tenth time in a twenty minute span. "God why is time going so slow?" I pounded my desk in frustration and got up in search of coffee.

I had plans…I'm a plan kinda guy…so I had plans for Bella and our lunch. I knew that I couldn't just ravish her and it be all hunky dory.

She was a lady, and ladies needed romance. I can do romance. Emmett thinks it makes me nerdy, but I've seen him romance Rose. He's the biggest nerd of them all.

After last night, and our slow that was **not** so slow make out session, I wanted to take a few steps back. It was hard though, very hard. Bella was so damn sweet and sexy….all the time. How do you put the monster away when you get a glimpse of her?

I was pumped about this lunch. I was thrilled when she said we could go out for lunch. Now just to convince her boss Jasper to let her have a two hour break.

I found the coffee pot in the break room and poured myself a cup. While I went back to my office, I thought about how odd that conversation was….the one with Bella's boss.

"Mr. Whitlock?" He had taken three rings to pick up. _Who the fuck waits three rings?_

"Yes. Who is this?"

"Edward Cullen."

"Cullen, Cullen and Hale?" He was a bit cocky on the phone. I sat there wondering what his problem was.

"Why…yes. Is that a problem?"

"No." Jasper paused for a minute. "Mr. Cullen, why are you calling my paper? We are a small publication. Surely no one is suing us for defamation?"

"Oh….no Mr. Whitlock, and call me Edward." Ahhh…now the cocky makes sense….I think.

"Okay, Edward, since you don't have a client that is suing us, what can I do for you? You can call me Jasper."

"Jasper, it's about Bella." I thought getting right to the point would be best.

"What about Bella.?"

"I'd like to take her to lunch."

"And you need my permission?" He was confused, I could tell.

"No, but with what I want to show her, it will take longer than her regular break. This is truly unorthodox, but would you see clear to giving her a two hour lunch break today? It's very important." There. That should work its magic. (God I was a dumbass….)

"I don't know that I can spare her today for that long Edward, there is a deadline."

"What kind of deadline? Is there a rush on tickets to a show or something?" I said it rather flippantly, and almost fucked up my chances.

"Listen…what are you to her, if you don't mind me asking Edward? You called me to ask for an extended lunch, so you've opened the can."

"She's my girlfriend." Bastard pushed me against a wall, I'd stake my claim right here…damn…Jasper better not think he can woo her…I'm doing the wooing….

"I see. She's never mentioned you Edward." I could see the smarmy smirk on the asshole's face.

" She likes to be professional at work. Bella's never mentioned you either. I can see why." There you rat bastard. The girl is mine.

"Well, if she takes a two hour break, she's going to have to stay longer." Oh hale no you did not just go there…all alone with _**MY**_ Bella…after hours…nope..not having it. I'll stay with her ass, and guard her like a Rottweiler….

For some reason, things were getting mighty territorial here and I couldn't figure it out. A quick check on Google and I had what I needed. My eyes bulged as I recognized the name when it was placed with some pictures...**Shit**…his sister…Josie…damn, well, I won't bring her up unless I have to. I'm a lawyer….I find the loop holes, the hot buttons.

"So Jasper, how's your wife?" He gasped on the other end of the line.

"What do you know about my wife?" He sounded a bit worried. I wondered if lusting after newbie hires was his pastime.

"Nothing, but from the sound of it, she doesn't know about your preference to come onto your employees." I had drawn a proverbial line in the sand, daring him to piss on it.

"I don't have feelings for Ms. Swan if that's what you think. Our relationship is strictly professional, and for the record _**Mr. CULLEN**_" Oh…I pissed him off. Well good. "I am concerned that if Bella has a _**significant other **_her work may suffer. I need her attention focused on her job. She's just beginning her career and I'd _**hate for anything to get in her way.**_"

Well played my man. Well played. I would never know truly if Jasper was speaking the truth, or if he was covering up, but it didn't matter. He gave me the segue I needed to secure a two hour lunch.

"Well, _**Mr. Whitlock**_", I could be a cocky son of a bitch too. "I think that for as focused and professional Bella has always been when it comes to her work life, she would deserve a two hour lunch." That's right….take the guilt road Edward. Booyah.

I heard a mumble in the background. "Fine. She can have her two hour lunch, but tell me Edward….what would she think of you calling her boss to ask?"

"I believe since it's a surprise, she would be fine with it. Oh, and Jasper?"

"What Edward?"

"I plan on telling her too. No secrets between us." There you asshat. Think you can manipulate me. Hell no.

"Is that all Edward?"

"Just one more thing Jasper. Are you related to Josie Whitlock?"

"Yes, she's my sister….why do you ask?"

"Just wondering. That explains so much though, and for the record, I never dated her. Have a good day Jasper." With that I hung up. It was all crystal clear now.

Jasper wasn't jealous of my being with Bella, nor did he want her to solely focus on her career. He thought I was a vile creature because of what his sister said about me in college. I knew there was something going on there. That bitch faked a month long relationship with me. Why? I do not know…cannot fathom….but Rose had to corner her one night at the Lucky Lou and threaten her before Josie would quit.

I finished my coffee and shook my head to clear it. "Well shit…I went from a fake dragon lady relationship to a real one in college. It's a wonder I survived those years…" I shivered as bile rose up my throat and I swallowed to force it back down.

Wondering what would happen when I went to pick up Bella if Jasper was around, I made sure my tie was perfectly straight, my jacket was wrinkle free and my hair ….well, the hair was its own beast.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

At exactly noon, I walked into the doors of the building Bella worked at. Her desk was on the third floor. I wondered where the guard dog was?

As soon as the elevator opened on Bella's floor, I was walking like a man possessed. I spotted her talking to someone with really frizzy hair and these long, red talons. _Ewww…._

Bella looked over at me just in time and her smile was breath taking. It didn't take long for her to gather her things and walk me to the elevator. Once inside, all horney broke loose as I got a deep whiff of her very sexy scent…coconut, chocolate and vanilla. It took all I had to stop…..in fact it took Bella saying stop. I was in a daze as I looked at her.

The doors opened up in the lobby and the gust of fresh air helped me clear my head and I felt bad. "I'm sorry."

Bella smiled at me….and then kissed me…and damn….I was right back in the horney zone.

I cleared my throat and took her hand. "I've something special to show you, and we don't have much time. "

"An hour is never enough time for lunch Edward, is it?" Bella looked to me for an answer.

"No, it's not….that's why you have two hours today...but you have to stay later tonight…and I can accommodate that too Bella." I grinned big at her, proud of the arrangements I secured for her.

"What?...What did you say Edward?"

"I said, I called and cleared it with your boss that you would be gone two hours, in exchange for a little extra time after work. I also said I'd help you out with that….extra time I mean…"

Her face fell for a moment, then I was suddenly afraid….

"Why the hell would you call my boss Edward? I'm not your property to say when and what…." She had started walking away from me and suddenly turned full circle, poking her finger into my chest.

"Bella, I didn't meant it…." _Shittynutsackcookies….fix it bud._

"Who the fuck cares what you thought….and you certainly weren't thinking when you did that. Do you realize how humiliating it is to know your boyfriend called your boss and discussed your hours of work? How would you like it if I did that?"

She had a point….but I didn't concentrate on that. I gambled on what she said early on in the tongue lashing and I was standing there, with a stupid grin.

"What the hell is wrong with you Edward?"

"You called me your boyfriend." I looked down at her, goofy grin still in place.

"Yeah ….and?" Bella wasn't over her rant yet.

"Yeah and…" I leaned down and kissed her….like my life depended on it. I was drowning and she was the lifeboat.

"Hey…." She started, then I kissed her again. Why….I have no fucking clue, other than I was happy and she was beautiful and she kisses so damn good.

I finally broke the kiss and pulled her along with me.

"I'm sorry I was sneaky like that Bella. I didn't know it would humiliate you….I just wanted enough time to show you the surprise. Forgive me? I won't ever do that again….I promise." I gave her my properly chastised face and waited.

Said face worked, because she grabbed my collar and pulled me down to her lips and kissed me. "Fine. We've wasted enough of my lunch time Edward. Let's go."

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

I watched Bella's face as I turned off the road and down the long, winding drive.

"Where are we Edward?"

"Patience. Just a bit of patience Bella. We're almost there."

I honked the horn of the car as I pulled up under the overhang. It was now or never. She had to see who I was…deep inside, and this was the best way.

Bella looked like she was in shock as she took in the landscaping and looming house in front of her.

"Edward….is there something…something you forgot to mention before?"

"This isn't mine Bella…it's where I grew up." I tugged her hand and pulled her through the front door.

"Mom….I'm hommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeee." I laughed as the echo hit the foyer. Bella still was a bit overwhelmed I think.

"Edward, is that you? Mom came out from the great room and her eyes lit up. I had told her about Bella for almost a month now, and she was anxious to meet the girl that made me smile.

"In the flesh mom…and we're hungry….feed us." I snickered and looked down at Bella. She side-eyed me and looked like she could run, "Pretty girl, it's ok…this is good. I wanna show you …well, me."

"I know you Edward." She bit her lip.

"No, you don't. You know a part of me, but you don't know _**me.**_"

"Edward, don't be rude. Introduce me to this beautiful girl."

"Esme Cullen, this is Bella Swan. Bella…my mom."

Mom looked at Bella and beamed at me. "Well done son. She is a gem." In a flurry of arms, Bella was tangled in a hug that not only took her by surprise, made her tear up a bit.

"Hey…let her loose mom. You're squeezing the water out of her." I grabbed Bella from mom and hid her behind me.

"I did no such thing. Now come on…time's a wastin' and your lunch will get cold." With that, mom took off not waiting for us to catch her.

Bella held me back for a moment and whispered to me. "Edward…I want to know _**you**_…but not at the expense of interrupting lunch with your mother."

"What?...no Bella….this lunch is for you."

We passed the dining room and the kitchen and went down the long hallway to the left of the living room. I stopped in front of a closed door and turned to Bella.

"Are you ready to see _**me**_?" This was it, do or die. Angela had laughed at me for what was behind those doors, and I thought I'd rip the band-aid off quick with Bella. If she didn't approve, then I wasn't so far in this time.

"Well, yeah. What the hell is in there that has you so unsure if I'll like it or not?" Bella's eyebrows raised up.

I took a deep breath and opened the door, letting her go in before me. I heard a gasp and lowered my head. _Well..it was great while it lasted._

"Edward….oh Edward…so many…..all over…and the in the center of it all…it's gorgeous Edward…and the books…floor to ceiling…." She quickly looked back to me a blinding smile on her face. "Edward I love books, adore them actually. That's one of the reasons I work for the paper. This is fantastic. Why were you so worried?" Bella took off, checking out the titles she could reach and smiling the entire time.

_Oh Thank Fuck. I'm not the only book worm. She actually likes books….._My mind conjured up Librarian Bella with glasses and a pencil skirt… and a white button up shirt, sans three or four buttons and _damn…she's sexy._

"That she is Edward, but don't you think you should feed her?" Mom's ornery grin brought me back to reality.

"Shit..did I say that outloud?"

"Yup."

"How much?"

"Dayuuuum….she's sexy." Mom giggled and shook her head. "You've got it bad son…I can see why too. She's perfect, and a bibliobibuli just like you!

"She is perfect…in every way mom."

"Don't forget the most important part." Mom kissed me quick and called to Bella as she was leaving the room. "Bella it was nice to meet you, I have a garden party in a few minutes on the terrace. Please come back anytime, with or without Edward."

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen. I'm sorry we intruded on your busy day." Bella fit right in…shit…this was almost too good to be true.

"No intrusion dear, but a very welcome introduction. Thank you for coming to see me…however short that is today. I look forward to seeing you again!"

"Bella, let's eat before time gets away, then I have one more thing to show you."

"What is it?" Her curiosity couldn't be contained and as cheesy as this all was, I loved it.

"That there…in the center of the room."

"The piano? What about it?"

"I want to play for you."

"You do?"

"Does that bother you? Is it too high school nerdy?" I was afraid of this. I'd pushed my geek too far.

"Edward, you love to read and you play the piano. You are a super fuckhawt man that has more in his head except football scores and beer. _**Hell no it doesn't bother me**_. It turns me on." She had a feral look in her eye.

It took all I had to keep my hands to myself. We ate quickly, having the same meal as mother's group on the terrace. Afterward, I sat Bella down on the bench of the piano and played several tunes for her, from Mozart to Jerry Lee Lewis. Two hours came and went, and Bella needed to be back at work.

Bella picked a handful of books to take home with her, and we were on our way. As I parked the car at the paper, I started to step out. I promised to be with her, seeing as she had to stay over. I also had cleared my calendar today….just in case.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"I promised you I would help you finish today because I am the reason you have to stay."

"You really don't have to do that Edward. I'm a big girl. I can manage." Bella grinned at me and rolled her eyes.

"Nope. I promised, and I don't back out on my promises pretty girl." I wiggled my eyebrows at her and took her hand as we walked in the door.

"You'll be bored Edward."

"No I won't. You'll be there."

"You have better things to do."

"Only you." I smirked at her, and watched as she tried to discreetly rub her thighs together. "See…you need me. You look very over heated Bella." I leaned down and gave her a kiss that made her knees buckle.

She found her center though, and gave me the stink-eye. "No fooling around in here Edward. We have to keep our minds on my work."

"You keep your mind on your work….I'll mind you." I gave her one last kiss before we got off the elevator, wrapping her hair around my fist and tugging a little.

"Enough Edward. Later, " was all Bella said as she led me to the copy room. After detailed instructions on typesetting, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

A little over an hour later, we were done. "Quittin' time Edward. Whatcha wanna do now?" Bella's slang was emphasized by her eye brow wiggle and she giggled as she ran out of the room.

I ran out after her, cornering Bella in her cubicle. "Vixen. I'll show you exactly what I want to do…."

**A/N**

'**Meh….lemons weren't ripe enough this time around…it's coming though…I'm sure of it…and me thinks "Geek" Edward will come out to play that first time….IDK though…could be "Monster" Eddie….we shall see…we shall see.**

**Hell..maybe "Monster Bella" will come out to play…that girl is sneaky ya know.**

**ATS…I rose to your challenge and I see you a word..or um…words…so here it is:**

_**Egyptian Cotton**_

**Ya it's two…but it takes two to mangle some fine Egyptian Cotton sheets wouldn't you say?...and I KNOW Edward only has those kind on his big ass bed…..hmmm..**

**Hugs and kisses…**


	17. Chapter 17

**Here we are again! Thanks for reading!**

**MW2, you were nicer to me this time around, but I am still hanging dingleberry over your head. (eeew) **

**You know what I mean... I still need to get you back! LOL! Xxxooo**

**Disclaimer: Anything and all Twilight is SM's. **

**Chapter 17 – Egyptian Cotton (somebody wants a lemon)**

**Bella**

Things with Edward are progressing...very quickly. Are they going a little too quickly?

_I don't know.._

Is there a part of me that is worried that this is the case?

_You bet your ass there is._

My romantic history is pretty pathetic. All I have to go on is my relationship, if you even want to call it that, with Jake. Then there were just a few random hook-ups, nothing big, _Let me tell you, _in college. None of the guys I have ever been with were prepared to go the distance with me. I was starting to just accept that the type of girl I am is a "love her and leave her girl". Only love was never in the equation with any of the guys from my past. Just sex.

_Kind of depressing, I know_.

With Edward I really hope that love could be in the equation, but how can I be sure? I don't really know how all of this is suppose to work. Right now I'm just going with the way Edward makes me feel, and boy does he make me feel things I have never felt before. I can't explain it really. All I know is that I could sit and try to rationalize things for days and all of it goes out the window the minute he is near me. I think it is the same for him too, because for as much as he says we are going to take things slow, slow is the last way I'd describe it.

Whenever we are together, we inevitably end up against a wall...rubbing. It's a given.

"_Hi Edward", "Hi Bella", hello wall... and heavy groping with make out session._

It's primal and desperate...all consuming. It is like nothing I have ever known and I am becoming addicted to it. What scares me is that Edward has more experience in this department than I do, he's been married. While that ended terribly bad, yes, he still had to have thought he experienced love on some level. It just didn't work though, so he probably has a certain level of skepticism towards love and relationships.

_Who wouldn't?_

So what does this mean for me exactly? Am I just something to bide his time? Will he ever look at me as more than just a sexual partner? Could he ever love me or consider marrying me? Because that is what I want for my future; I want to be married and I want children. I don't want that in the immediate future, but is Edward even capable of giving me those things considering all that he has been through?

I'm scared of getting hurt again.

These are the thoughts that have been sitting at the back of my mind. When I am alone they creep up on me and wave their warning flags. They are the thoughts that are holding me back from moving forward into anything more meaningful with Edward...anything more than just physical.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

I am just getting home from another grueling day at work. Jasper has been different towards me since the whole two hour lunch date. I don't understand why, but I'm hoping that it will resolve itself soon. I really need him on my side if I plan on moving up to junior editor. Not to mention, I miss the way we use to interract. It was fun and easy. Ever since Edward spoke to Jasper though, things seem to be...different.

I close the door and throw my keys on the table, sorting through the mail as I make my way to the kitchen for a bottled water. My phone vibrates, alerting me to a text message.

**EC: _You home yet?_**

**Me: Yup, just walked in.**

**EC: **_**Get your pretty little ass o**__v__**er here then.**_

**Me: Chill. Need to change. Gi****ve me 15.**

**EC: **_**K. Just hurry. Miss u.**_

See, things _are_ moving fast.

I know that these thoughts will disappear once I'm with him, but now they are screaming at me. My stomach is twisting with anxiety. I want to be with him so bad, I almost feel desperate. The other side of me, the more rational one, knows the risks and won't stop pushing them at me. It was reassuring to know that we have a lot in common, that is one of the good things to come out of our two hour lunch. Edward took the time to show me another side of himself, his love for books and music. That has to mean something right? But we still have a long way to go to get there emotionally, I think. The physical though...we are definitely there physically. I'm worried that when I see him I won't be able to control myself.

_Sigh. I'm not going to figure this out tonight._

I need to just get changed and get over there. Maybe we can discuss these doubts and insecurities I'm having.

_But what if he has no patience for them? What if he decides I'm too much work?_

I am young and this is where that really shows. Will he have the patience for me and my emotional inexperience?

I guess we will just have to see.

I put on a pair of skinny jeans, a white tanktop and my favorite oversized sweater. It's dark blue, fuzzy and hangs off my shoulder... I know Edward really likes to nibble there.

I blush at the thought of his mouth on me.

I pull my hair up into a messy bun on top of my head, pulling stray tendrils out to frame my face. Then apply some lip gloss and head into the living room. I'm wearing thick warm socks, so I forego shoes...it's just a few steps to his door anyway. Grabbing the bottle of wine I set aside for tonight, I switch off the lights and head out into the hall. It's really quiet tonight. I reach Edward's door and then turn back to scan the hallway.

_Where is the cat?_

I don't understand why, but I'm suddenly feeling a little bothered. The cat is usually here. Why would it bother me that the cat isn't here?

I don't have much more time to consider this, because Edward's door flies open and I am being lifted from the floor into a warm, wonderful smelling embrace.

"Mmmm, you're here." Edward's kissing my neck, breathing me in.

I giggle, "Well hello to you too!"

He giggle-groans and walks me further into his apartment, taking the wine and clumsily placing it on the table.

"Hi, pretty girl." His lips travel from my cheek to my neck and then my exposed shoulder.

"Mmmm, I love this." He says as he tugs it further down my arm.

"I can't wait to get you out of it though." He says before his lips descend again to my skin.

And I am gone.

The rational side of me is out in the hallway where I left it and my desires are driving my every move. I wrap my legs around Edward's waist and he starts moving us towards the bedroom. He kicks open the door and before I know it, I am sprawled out on egyptian cotton.

Edward stands there, just looking down at me with this feral look in his eyes, breathing heavily. I am lost. I am so fucked.

**A/N**

**So I had to do it, sorry. I cliffed you. Mwah, ha, ha... Don't sweat it though, MW2 will post her chapter really soon and I've passed the lemnon to her. Let's see how she squeezes it.**

**Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to review. It's really nice to hear from you. xxxooo**

**Word Prompt:**

"**Glabella"**

**LOL! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Seriously….I play nice and you give me "glabella?"..WTF?..Ok lady…*throws down sand shovel, pretending it's a gauntlet*….you're on…down below…ya..down there…will be your **_**word**_**. Uh huh…ya….*taps foot and wrinkles lips up into "church lady" grimace***

**Chapter 18 – Glabella (**_**wrinkling brow**_**…then rolling eyes on this one…..)**

**Edward**

Looking down at Bella on my bed took my breath away. Her dark hair and pale, creamy skin against the deep red sheets made the monster in me come out. Restraint was next to nil.

Bella's hair…it was up…. so sexy, but I wanted to feel all of her. I gave her one last lusty look-over and grabbed her hand, pulling her up to sit.

"Edward…what…" she looked confused, hurt almost.

"I want to take your hair down pretty girl. Let me?"

Bella smiled and tipped her head down. Her long, thick lashes framed her down cast eyes and I had to remember to be gentle with her. _So God Damn sexy….deep breath and slllloooowwww bud, this is someone special, not a quick fuck to relieve yourself._

I climbed up on the bed behind her and pulled her back against my chest. Her neck…God her neck was sexy. Everything about this woman screamed erotic to me. _Such a fucking playground….never enough….there will never be enough time to explore everything. Work in progress…_

I put my arms around her and nuzzled her neck softly, landing a kiss right below her ear.

"Mmmmmmmm…..Edward."

"Patience Bella. I want to enjoy every inch of you tonight." Bella squirmed a little, and pride took over, making my ego soar. She was so responsive to every touch; I wanted to find out how far I could go teasing her before it was too much.

I ran my lips up and down the side of her neck, just lightly touching, skimming the skin there. Bella's hands came up behind her and grabbed the back of my head, tugging on my hair.

"No touch yet Bella. My turn," I said as I lightly grabbed her hands and brought them back in front of her. She turned her head to me and frowned, her glabella wrinkling. _So sweet. So God Damn pretty…..mine._

I smoothed out the skin between her eyebrows, and gave her one soft kiss on the lips. "Let me take your hair down beautiful." Bella blushed, and fuck if it didn't set off feelings in me I thought were long gone.

I took her hair pins out one at a time, then the ponytail holder, each hair accessory revealing a little bit more of Bella's luscious mane. Massaging her head must have hit a certain spot because she fell back against me and let out the sexiest moan.

"Shit Edward, the things you do to me."

"We haven't even begun yet pretty girl. I want to share it all with you, everything." I turned her and pulled Bella into my lap, putting her legs on either side of me.

Bella gave me one last look before leaning in to meet my lips with hers. A July 4th firework display couldn't compare to what was going on here. Cheesy as it sounds, it was heaven, and I could have just sat there all night, kissing the shit out of her and been okay with it. I think I could have come just hearing Bella's little moans as our tongues tasted each other.

Bella's breathing became rapid, matching mine and I could feel her heart pounding against my chest. I slowed the kiss down, opening my eyes to find her looking at me.

"Bella...What is it?" She bit her lip. That was her tell, the lip biting. She was worried about something.

"Edward, before….we can't….um..we can…no..um…shit."

"Just let it out Bella. Tell me…..please?" I hoped she hadn't changed her mind about me. Hell, I could wait if she wasn't ready for sex, but I didn't even want to think about her not wanting to be mine. The plan had changed a full 360 and I was in. She may not know it yet, but I was in so damn deep, nothing would pull me out.

Bella took a deep breath and nibbled that lip again, making my impossibly hard-on even harder. "Just talk to me Bella. Are you not ready to go further? It's okay….I can wait."

"NO!" She sat up suddenly and looked down at me from her perch on my lap. "It's not that. I want you…all of you. I just…I'm ….fuckity fuck…." She giggled, remembering where that line came from.

It made me chuckle. "Sexy as that sounds coming from your dirty little mouth pretty girl…I need you to be honest with me. I can wait, and I can take cold showers from here to eternity if I know you are just being honest with me…..okay?"

Bella must have been convinced I was being truthful with her, because what came out next surprised me….even for her.

"Edward, I am scared that you will get bored with me and move on…..I'm scared shitless you will see I'm not up to your standards…that I'm not enough woman for you….I'm scared I'll send you packing because I'm too clingy…..I'm scared to get my heart broken…I think I'm falling in love with you…fuck…shit…damnit…and…I can't get my heart broken…I thought I was in love once…and it wasn't love…but I don't know what love is…and…I'm petrified that I'm not good in bed, and you will be disappointed."

Bella looked at me wide eyed and mouth open. I don't think she realized she said all she did…..until it was over. As her hands came up to cover her pretty little mouth, I grabbed them.

"No…don't hide from me Bella. I want to see all of you, even your fears." I looked directly at her and the beginnings of tears filled her eyes. "Don't cry. I'm not walking away Bella. I feel the same way about you. I feel like I'm falling in love with you. I don't really know what that is yet either. I thought I was before, with the dragon lady, only to find out that wasn't love at all."

"This is all new to me just like it is to you Bella. I have the same fears. That I won't be man enough for you…..that I won't satisfy you, in the bed or out of it…That I will become too clingy and possessive. That my sex past will piss you off and you will go running away from me and I will lose any chance I may have had…..That even though this feels so good, we are moving too fast and you will get bored with me."

Bella looked at me and slumped her shoulders. Her head fell forward on to my shoulder and she let out a deep breath. "Oh thank God Edward."

"Why?"

"I thought it was just me and I was a psychotic nutbag. The last thing you or I need is for me to turn into Kathy Bates in Misery…." She looked up at me, a slight grin on her face.

Confused, it clicked with me what she said after about two minutes and I laughed out loud, gasping for breath and losing my hold on her while she sat on my lap. "Pretty girl…if you want to tie me to the bed, I am AOKAY with that….just don't break my legs. I'll stay….I promise." I held up my fingers in the Boy scout solemn oath and smiled at her.

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere….are you?"

Bella shook her head at me, and touched the side of my face, rubbing and making me purr like that damn cat. "No….Edward, this is more than friends with benefits for me, it's special, and fragile, and I don't want to mess it up."

"Me neither, and I agree with you. Before we go any further," I had to get this last thing out of the way….I didn't want her to regret anything.

"Bella, I've had a lot of sex. About nine years of it with the same person, but the last three years since the divorce, I didn't care about the women really. If I needed release, I'd find someone. No attachments, no phone numbers. I'm ashamed of that…..truly I am." I looked up at her to gauge her reaction.

She showed me nothing of any direction she was heading with my declaration.

"Edward….how many….total?" Ah….there it was.

"Less than 30, more than 20 I'd say. I didn't keep track….they were for relief purposes only Bella." I grimaced, mentally punching myself for not thinking ahead way back then. "But I used condoms with everyone. Even with dragon lady. I've never had sex without a condom Bella, and I still get tested….it's been almost a year since I've been with anyone. Do you believe me?"

She looked at me intently for a moment, and decided she saw the truth in my eyes. "Yes I do Edward. Can I…um…."

"What?"

"Can you tell me when the last time you got tested was? I been tested too, I decided to give blood about three months ago, so it was standard. I'm clean. I've only been with a few men besides Jake. I can count them all on one hand though." Bella looked at me hesitantly… She needed the information, but didn't want to hurt my feelings…..I could see that in her eyes.

"I was tested just two months ago. I'm clean Bella, and we can use condoms if you are comfortable with that. I'm assuming you are on birth control right? Should I not have assumed that?"

"I'm covered Edward."

"Okay then….did we kill the mood, or do you want to continue?" As much as I didn't want to stop, the choice was Bella's.

She leaned over and kissed me, nibbling my lower lip before running her tongue over it. Enough said for me. I laid her down on her back and covered her with my body. _So damn glorious. We fit perfectly like this._

"Bella if we do this tonight, it doesn't change anything for me. I still want all of you, all the time. This isn't a fuckbuddy relationship, and I desperately want you to trust me with your heart."

"Ditto. Now shut up and kiss me." She was brazen, a total package. Brazen, shy…..funny, serious….sexy and demure. Bella had it all and I wanted every ounce of her I could get.

Bella winked at me and pulled me down to her. _Give the lady what she wants bud._

It took me about ten seconds to roll with Bella, so she was laying on top of me. I didn't break that fantastic kiss as I ran my hands up under both her shirt and sweater and undid her bra. I wanted it all off in one tug. She sat up on me putting her knees on either side.

Running my hands up her thighs as she lifted the layers off, I was in awe. She was beauty personified. Her collarbone begging to be kissed, her breasts firm and perky, with dark pink nipples that called to me.

Bella shook her hair out from the clothing and looked down at me, dropping the clothes off the side of the bed.

Holy fuck I don't think I've ever seen anything so sexy and beautiful in the same moment. She was almost ereathreal. Her hair hung down one side of her neck, and her lips were red from the kissing. Eyes like milk chocolate pools shining with unshed tears and her skin had a flush to it that was like the palest pink rose. I was mesmerized, and if I could have talked, it would have been a mess of stuttering foolishness.

Nice guy be damned, the monster arose and made me sit straight up, gathering her to me. The taste of her skin made me impossibly hard and as I kissed her luscious body from her neck to her breasts she rocked her hips.

"Damn pretty girl, this one isn't gonna take me long….you are too sexy for your own good. So beautiful….Mine….so…fucking beautiful."

"Mmmm…take your clothes off Edward... please... I want to see you too."

She didn't have to ask twice. I scooter her off my lap and stood up, stripping in record time. Bella blushed as she saw exactly what effect her body had on mine. A slow smile came up her face as she stood up and put her hands on my chest.

"Edward, it's been a long time….and…you're huge." She giggled a bit, and my ego soared through the roof.

I grabbed the front of her pants and tugged her to me. "Slow Bella. Slow….all good things happen slllllooowwwly" I said in my sexiest, deepest voice as I unbuttoned the waist and pulled the zipper down agonizingly slow.

Pushing the pants down her legs, I bent to finish the job, kissing her panty covered center softly. I looked up in time to see her eyes, covered over in pure lust so raw, my cock seeped.

Bella grabbed my hair and pulled me up, kissing my chest and lightly grabbing what now belonged only to her.

"Edward, now…I can't wait. We can do other things later….I want…need….now…" She was feral in her own right, pushing me down on the bed before I'd had a chance to strip her completely. Bella grabbed her panties and took them off, much to my disappointment.

"Hey…I wanted to do that."

"Shhh….next time. This time is pure need, and I know you can feel it…Your cock shows me so."

Where the hell that dirty little sex mouth came from I have no clue, but the monster won this round and came out full force.

"Fuck Bella…..it's not going to last baby…..fast, deep and hard…is that what you want?"

"Edward, you've got me so worked up, I'm about ready to explode. Now….I'm so wet ….now….NOW!"

I grabbed a condom from the night stand and wasted no time putting it on. Once she saw I was good to go, Bella sat on me and impaled herself in one pass.

"Oh God…..Edward, so thick…..so hard…just….uhhhhh….so damn good."

"Fuck …shit Bella….." Her words alone were taking me too close to the edge, and I wanted it to last longer than two minutes. Didn't matter we could do it again…and again…and again, this first time….needed to be special.

She continued to ride me faster and faster, and I knew…..I knew I was close. That feeling in my balls was more than I could handle.

Bella gave me no choice but to take control. I sat up on her next downstroke and flipped her on her back. Bella's legs automatically came up around my hips and she continued to move…rooting to find satisfaction.

"So close Edward…please…she was nearly in tears begging me."

I slowed down the tempo a bit, even though she grabbed my ass and tried to forcefully bring me closer. "Slow pretty girl….look at me… Bella…look at me." I wanted to see her face as she came, knowing mine wasn't far behind.

I leaned down and kissed her neck, nuzzling for a moment, then kissed her lips, her nose and her eyes. As I pulled back, she opened them and looked at me. "So God Damn beautiful baby….you are so beautiful…..let go Bella….come. I want to see it."

"Oh …..uhhhhhhhhhhh…..uhhhhhhhhh….yes…yes….yes….Oh God Edward….harder, more…more….God please….." Bella kept her eyes on me, sexy as sin and thrashed under me so I'd move faster. I gave her what she wanted.

Less than a minute later, Bella's head tipped back in the pillow and her eyes shut involuntarily. She shuddered and screamed my name as her orgasm hit. I could feel her milking my cock, grinding her hips into me and that was all it took. One, another, …one more thrust and I stilled.

"Fuck …oh FUCK Bella….so good…so damn good." I collapsed on her, hugging Bella to me as tightly as I could. She stroked my back as our breathing slowed down.

I found the energy to kiss her temple and roll a bit, facing her. "I meant every word I said Bella. All of it. I'm in."

Bella looked up at me, her eyes showing how happy she was. "Ditto."

**A/N**

**SO…that lemony enough for ya?..I did the best under the circumstances of the "talk" they had to have…..Cheers if you went and found your S.O. after reading it….!**

**ATS…oh ATS…ATS…ATS….*taps fingernails on her desk*…..I've got the perfect word for you. No cheating either….look the sucker up….**

_**Xiphoid **_

**Hugs and many slobbery kisses…those are the best kind…LOL….**

**MW2**


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm just going to get right to it. Thanks again everyone for reading and reviewing.**

**Disclaimer: It's all SM's, I'm just fiddling with it.**

**Chapter 19 - "Xiphoid" (looks sternly at MW2 with raised eyebrow)**

**Bella**

"Uhhhh...I don't want to get up." I'm laying across Edward's chest, his heartbeat is steady. It lulls me.

"Then don't." He whispers into my hair.

I smile and sigh, this feeling is so perfect.

"You want me to stay?" I ask coyly.

Instead of answering, Edward rolls me onto my back and kisses me deeply. I am putty in his hands.

"O-kay, you don't have to twist my arm." I smile into his kiss.

"You are so funny...mmm...I think I want to kiss every spot on your beautiful body, see where your tickle spots are."

"Every spot?" I giggle.

"Mmmm, yep." He's now lifting my arm to kiss my elbow.

"What about here?" I say as I point to my armpit.

Edward pauses and then looks at me with a devious smirk, he kisses his way to my armpit. I start to laugh hysterically.

"Ahhhh that tickles! Stop!" He continues his assault until I'm thrashing and breathless.

"What? You told me to kiss you here." He continues and I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard

"Pleeeeaaase stop! Ahhhhh...oh my god...pleeeaase!"

When he thinks I've had enough, he stops and then slithers his head over to kiss my mouth sweetly. He lifts up so that we are looking eachother straight in the eyes; smiling, happy, sated...well, truth...I am definitely down for some more _sating._

"How about here." I point.

"Right here?" Edward drags his hand down the front of my chest, making sure to run his hand over my breasts. He leans down and sucks one of my nipples into my mouth.

I'm a moaning wet mess.

"No", I say breathlessly. "Here." And I point to the spot right between my breasts.

"Your xiphoid?

I pop my head up and look at him. "My what?" I giggle.

"Your xiphoid ." He chuckles. "Breastbone."

His random knowledge of the anatomy makes me giggle and I nod slowly.

His head descends as he rubs his face between my breasts and kisses the bone, my _xiphoid._

"Edward, you are such a geek." I'm laughing.

"I'm a geek huh?" He says as he rubs is erection into my thigh.

"Oh!" I smile. "Yes...uhh... you are a geek." I'm nodding exaggeratedly

Now Edward is climbing between my legs. "Are you sure about that?" He pushes them wider, settling and then rubbing his hard cock up and down through my wet center. I'm completely lost in feeling, ready for him to sink into me again.

"Uhhh...I want you so much Edward. "

"But I'm a geek" He accentuates the word "geek" with a firm thrust.

"Ahhh...yeah...get on with it already, geek"

And that is exactly what he does.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

The next morning I awake before Edward, _damn internal clock_. I'm warm and happy, breathing in the scent of Edward...it's musk and woodsy...all man. I can't believe that I'm actually here, in his bed. Worries about the rapid progression of things are completely out the window. I decide that I don't even care anymore, I just want him.

I have about fifteen minutes to just stare at his handsome, sleeping face before I need to go for my morning run. I prop my head up onto my elbow and just look at him.

"I could love this face." I whisper with a smile and then gently run my finger over his lips. I reach down and kiss him gently, not wanting to wake him, but unable to stop myself. When I pull away, he is opening his eyes, sweet smile spreading.

"Mmmm...good morning, pretty girl. Why aren't you sleeping, didn't my geeky ass wear you out enough?"

I laugh and then lay my head down on his chest. Feeling incredibly happy.

"Nope, I don't think you could ever wear me out." I whisper.

He runs his hand down my back. "Uh huh...well I'd be more than willing to try."

I sigh and close my eyes, oh I would really enjoy letting him. I have to get going though. If I don't keep up my morning routine, the whole day will be shot and I can't afford to be off right now. Jasper is already doubting me I think.

"Well, as much as I'd love that, I really need to get going." I lift my head up and look at him, leaning up to kiss him one more time. Edward has other plans. Suddenly I'm on my back again and being pushed into the mattress.

"You can't leave until you say the magic word." Edward says with a smile.

"The magic word huh?" I'm smiling back and tapping my finger against my chin. "What could that be?"

He's kissing my face and then down my neck and to my chest.

"Well, I think it could take you a while to figure it out." He's laughing. "Lucky me."

"Edwaaard..." I whine. "I really need to get going."

Edward starts in on the nipples again...my weakness.

"You really don't play f-fair do you? I've got to get going, Edward."

"I love it when you say my name." He continues with the sweet torture.

"Uhhhhh Edward, really, I need to get to work. Jasper is going to be so pissed if I'm not there on time, we have so much to do today."

Edward's kissing starts to get more aggressive...possessive.

"Edward, please. I promise I'll come back right after work."

He stops and places his forehead against my chest. Groaning deeply and reluctantly accepting.

"Promise?" He surrenders.

"Promise." I whisper back.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

I've just finished running my three miles and am heading up the steps to my apartment. There on the landing is the cat...he's sprawled out, legs stretched as far as they will go. Eyes pleading with me to pet him. I relent.

"Hi cat. Where the hell have you been, huh? Should I really be touching your dirty ass, lord knows what you've been into."

"_Edward, open the fucking door!"_

I hear a woman yelling from upstairs. I try to get up so I can see what's going on, but the cat latches onto my pant leg with it's nails and won't let go.

"_Edward, so help me god, if you don't open this fucking door I'm going to do something drastic. Believe me, you don't want to see drastic!"_

Shit. What the fuck?

**A/N**

**Dun... dun, dun, dun! **

**How'd ya like the bedroom talk...sigh...**

**Edward in the sheets...what a wonderful mental picture.**

**Ahhhh MW2...hmmm...what shall I give you this time. **

**Word Prompt:**

"**bacon grease"**

**Eh...I feel like taking it easy on you today. ;) xxoo**


	20. Chapter 20

**Well Good Morning all! It's nice to wake up to a lil sunshine and kinda, sorta nooky…..So very glad that ATS could help ya out there…..**

**Things are moving along wonderfully in this story….I'm still wondering where the hale we are gonna go though, and it's a fun adventure. **

**Dragon lady is back it seems….dun dun dun…*rubs hands together maniacally*…..oooohhh gurl….this is gonna be good.**

**Fanks guys….for being kind….remember that this story is totally un-beta'ed and each chapter pulled straight from our minds…and asses as it were. Thank you so much for all who have let their curiosity lead them to our page and read. Reviews are the cream cheese for our bagels and we so love them…..**

**SM is still in the driver's seat…we just "valet'ed" when she came to our neck of the woods.**

**ATS…..your freak flag is beginning to show….I wanna see you do a streaker dance with it soon….*snort***

**Chapter 20 – Bacon Grease**

**Edward**

I watched Bella get out of my bed with both regret and fascination. She truly was a sexy woman. Her body called to me, but it was more than that. Her mind intrigued me. I wanted to know everything about her. What toothpaste she used, her favorite color…why she ran every morning rain or shine…did she like whole milk or 2%...what she wanted to do at the paper…after she had outgrown the paper…where she lived when she was a little girl…what she did when she was a little girl…I wanted to know it all.

All my appointments today had been delayed on purpose. I was hoping to spend the entire morning wrapped up in nothing but Bella. I gave her one last kiss at the door, and headed for the shower.

A brilliant thought came to me as I was getting dressed. I'd take Bella for breakfast before we had to part for the day. I sped up my pace, estimating the time she would leave her apartment for work. There was an eccentric diner about a block over that served the best Western omelet and home fries. They cooked it all in bacon grease…bad for your arteries but sooooooo good for your mouth.

I went back to get my laptop and files when I heard a knock at the door. Pounding was more like it…and with it…. dragon lady's voice. _Good God does she never learn? How the fuck did she get in this time?_

"**Edward**…open the fucking door!"

I stood still about four feet from the door and listened. Maybe she would think I wasn't home and would go away. I was pissed she got in the building to begin with…fucking steaming that she found my apartment number. After the restraining order had been placed and the terms of the divorce settlement put "on condition" I thought for sure she would drop off the face of _**my**_ earth…Murphy's Law I suppose, but damn-it to hell she wasn't going to ruin my day.

"Edward, **so help me God,** if you don't open this **fucking door** I'm going to do something drastic. **Believe me**, you don't want to see drastic!"

I don't know what the bitch had up her sleeve, and I didn't want to find out. I just wanted to move on, dole out the monthly payments until the time was done and be rid of her.

I moved quietly off to the kitchen and called Jenks.

"Ello…..?"

"Jenks" I whispered.

"Mr. Cullen?" he whispered back. "Why are you whispering?"

"Because Angela is at my door pounding the shit out of it."

"But there's a restraining order against her."

"Yup…."

"She doesn't get it does she?"

"Nope."

"Okay, I'll have a car brought around to get her. I don't get what part of _**Not within 200 feet**_ the lady doesn't understand."

"I want to confront her, but I don't want to cause the other residents alarm."

"Stay in your apartment, you don't know what she has planned out there. I'd rather just send a squad car then an ambulance Mr. Cullen. We're also going to have to talk about security there at the building you know. I'm gonna have to place someone, seeing as there is no doorman."

"You're probably right. Can we make it someone who doesn't stick out like a sore thumb though? I don't need all the extra attention…and Jenks?"

"Yes sir?"

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it" Jenks hung up then and I listened for dragon lady's incessant pounding to begin again.

"**EDWARD**!...Open the **GOD DAMN DOOR YOU FUCKER** …last chance before I break it down."

I just stood there, wanting so badly to open that door up and punch her square in the face. What a vile bitch! Angela already sucked half the life blood out of me. I had no more to give her.

Dragon lady had sealed her own fate with this one. To be in contact with me for any reason, or even coming within 200 feet of me anywhere…..would cost her. First occurrence: Alimony payments dropped by half and she would spend three days in jail. Second occurrence: _God help her if there is one_ : Eviction from the house, another fourth dropped from her alimony and two months in jail. Third occurrence: All alimony ceased, the cars were confiscated and she did five years in the slammer. Don't pass go…don't collect 200 dollars.

I had moved 3 hours from Portland to start up all new in Seattle. Dragon lady had the house back in Oregon…she had all of it…just like she wanted. Why she would waste her time driving all that way just to harass me I couldn't figure out...She was taken care of...Generously...

I heard the door knob rattling and laughed. "I hear you in there Edward. Open up the door or else." I almost laughed again, humored by her audacity. Did she think I was going to cower to her?

Then I heard Bella's voice, and my stomach dropped. _Fuck…no pretty girl…go back to your apartment._

I texted Bella to get the hell out of the hallway and she-bitch's path, but she didn't respond. I could still hear her voice. _Shit…now I'm gonna have to open the damn door and if she lays one hand on pretty girl…..I'll be the one in jail._

"_**Can I help you with something Miss…?"**_

"_**No you can't, unless you can magically open this bastard's door."**_

"_**I've not seen you before, did you just move here?"**_

"_**I don't live in this dump. My husband does."**_

I heard that mangy cat hiss and then someone screamed.

"_**Get your fucking cat off my leg."**_

"_**Oh…it's not my cat. I don't' know who it belongs to. Here, let me…."**_

"_**Oh my God…you motherfucking nasty ass cat…get the hell off me before I shoot you."**_

I heard Bella gasp and that's all it took…_Jenks…get your ass here NOW….._ I wrenched open the door to see Bella trying to reach the orange fur-ball and dragon lady struggling like the cat weighed 100 pounds. Despite the situation, I almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it.

The cat was hanging on for dear life…talons in place firmly and the horrid growling sound it was making was enough to frighten me. I grabbed Bella's hand while Angela was swinging her own body to dislodge the cat and drug her into my apartment. I slammed the door and locked it, letting the cat defend us both.

It took a minute for Bella to realize what had just happened and outside the door, the cat was screeching and she bitch was screaming.

Bella looked at me with wide eyes. "Your …..um…wife?" the confusion was clearly written all over her face.

"Ex-wife…..I told you this remember?"

"Ahhh…..dragon lady. Name fits her well. How in the hell did she get in here?" Bella looked hesitant for a minute, and I knew we would have to talk more about Angela in the near future.

"I have no clue Bella, maybe James…. but in about five seconds….."

We could hear a squad car pull up, sirens roaring. Bella and I looked at each other and simultaneously put our ears to the door to listen. Fur-ball was still screeching, dragon lady was still screaming and the police officer yelled above it all.

"Ms. Angela Smith?"

There was a loud scuffle and then…. we heard a thump…..against the wall…hard….

"Shit…Edward, she hurt Dingleberry." Bella started to go for the door knob and I stopped her.

"Wait a minute…..just wait a minute Bella."

"Get up ma'am. You've the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You've the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney…."

The voice faded, footsteps going away from the door. Soon, all was quiet. Bella pushed me out of the way and opened the door so fast, the knob hit the wall.

"Kitty…here kitty…kitty…kitty"

That cat, our furry protector was sitting in the hall between Bella's and my doors…..preening.

Bella rushed to it and bent down. "Are you okay Dingleberry?"

The cat looked up at her and purred…Fucking purred. I bent down beside Bella as she was looking the cat over for any injuries. Dingleberry looked up at me and winked…I_ swear_…

"Did you see that Bella?"

"See what Edward?" She was still checking the cat over.

"That cat winked at me."

"I highly doubt that Edward." Pretty girl laughed and rolled her eyes.

"I'm telling you…that fucking cat winked at me."

Bella looked up at me, studying my eyes. She looked back at the cat, and damn if he didn't do it again.

"SEE!"

"Maybe he just has something in his eye." She moved her hand to feel the cat's eyelid and Dingleberry sauntered off, looking over his shoulder as he hit the landing for the stairs below.

"Puurrrrr…..Meow." He swished his tail once and took off down the stairs.

Taking a deep breath, I fell back against the wall and pulled Bella with me. "I think we need a day off pretty girl. What say you?"

"I have to go to work today Edward."

"You're already late Bella. Call in."

"No"

"Yesssss…" I leaned in and kissed her neck, nibbling on her ear. "We were meant to have the day off pretty girl, and I can treat you to a sublime breakfast now."

"I can't…I can't…Jasp….."

Just hearing that name made me pull her closer to me, holding her tight. "I promise you only good things Bella." I said as I ran my nose up her neck.

"Shit Edward…..damn-it…." She gave me a defeated look and got up to go into her apartment. Like the planner I am, I followed her.

After she called in, I smiled like a man victorious. Bella gave me a playful punch and turned to go down her hallway. "Your turn Edward. Make the call."

Pretty girl watched as I also called off. I had a little more leeway, I am the boss, but as soon as the deed was done, I looked up to see Bella with a mischievous grin and a raised eyebrow. "You promised me good things Geek boy. Last one in is a rotten egg." She took off for the shower... me not far behind.

**A/N**

**So….Dingelberry to the rescue. That cat is kinda growing on me…Wonder who he belongs to?**

**OK …ATS…I rose to your challenge…bacon grease was pretty damn good. I guess I can be nice…and give you this word: **

_**Pepper**_

**See ya on the flipside girlie…..**

**XXOO's**

**MW2**


	21. Chapter 21

**Oh man, I'm sorry to get this out so late! My mind is a total wreck after reading the "Dusty" update. Anyone else reading that story by YellowBella? Well you should be. Get crackin!**

**MW2 Thanks for taking it easy on me this time, getting this one out was really tough. Luffs ya bb.**

**Disclaimer: Pick a good one you've already read, I can't think of anything witty to say. It's all Sm's, yada, yada, yada...**

**Remember, this is not beta'd. ;)**

**Chapter 21 - "Pepper"**

**Bella**

_Shit, shit, shit..._

On the outside I'm smiling and seemingly carefree, but on the inside I'm a nervous wreck about missing work and this whole thing with Edward's ex-wife.

_Dragon lady is crazy._

I really can't wait to talk about what the deal is with her, I'm starting to feel nervous for his safety.

With regards to work, I _really_ want to be with Edward today, but I know that I'm letting Jasper down by ditching and that isn't sitting well with me.

This whirlwind of a romance has begun to unravel the carefully constructed plan I've made for myself. It is unexpected, I wasn't even considering finding someone. Now, I am in so deep. I am drowning in these feelings I'm having for Edward, everything else seems to be taking a back seat.

Edward and I have just showered together, _a-mazing..._and are preparing to leave for breakfast. In the living room, Edward is on his cell phone with his office, I'm in my room trying to compose myself. I need to just enjoy this day I've taken and deal with the consequences at work when I get there tomorrow. Now, is Edward's time.

_There, it's decided._

Smoothing out my hair, I button up my shirt, secure the button to my jeans and shove my feet into some flats. _There, ready to go._ When I reach the living room, Edward is sitting on the couch with one hand to his ear and the other holding his head. I hear, 'Mm hm's' and 'okays'...see some head nodding. He seems deep into the conversation. That is until he lifts his head and looks at me... his smile melts my soul.

He mouths, "Just another minute, okay?"

I smile and nod.

Edward's call is taking a little longer than expected and I'm starting to get antsy. I'm tugging my sleeve cuff and trying to squelch this nagging guilt that keeps rising to the surface of my consciousness. My routine has been completely thrown off and it's difficult for me to feel comfortable.

_I need to force myself to relax._

I think Edward is starting to notice; he's staring at me now, I can feel the weight of it.

I glance over at him and he smiles hesitantly, then abruptly ends the call.

Not even a second later he has me in his arms and is peppering my face with kisses and apologies.

"I'm sorry, just wanted to get that all out of the way so that you can have my undivided attention. You ready?"

The look I give him answers that question.

_More than ready._

"We're walking? I ask as Edward takes my hand and starts pulling me down the sidewalk. I'm glad I put on my warm coat, it's almost December and the wind is biting.

"Sure, it's not far from here." He's smiling and happy...I can't help but feel the same. Sensing that I'm cold, Edward let's go of my hand, putting his arm over my shoulder and bringing me into his side. Being this close to him warms me and makes me feel complete.

We arrive at a Coco's Diner, I can't believe I never noticed it before. It's about a block away from our apartment building and has a huge sign flashing in hot pink and purple lights.

_Tacky as hell, maybe that's why I never considered it._

When we are seated inside, though, I can get a sense of what makes the place so charming. It's clean and bright, an updated version of the typical 50's style diner. I like it. The smell of bacon and warm pastries fill my senses and I am reminded of how hungry I am. Edward sure helped me work up an appetite this morning.

"So, they have the best omelettes here, you have to try one." Edward is practically bouncing in his seat.

I smile and just as I close the menu, the waitress comes to our table for our orders.

Sipping on some orange juice, I look across the table at the beautiful man in front of me. He's grabbed my hand and is fiddling with my fingers as he just gazes into my eyes. It takes my breath away and I shake my head and smile.

"What?" he says.

I giggle, "nothing."

"Don't say 'nothing', why are you shaking your head?"

I take another sip of orange juice, giving myself a second to organize my thoughts.

"I still just can't believe this is all happening." I look down at the table. " It was totally unexpected. I'm so happy."

Edward brings my hand to his mouth and kisses the inside of my wrist.

"I know, I feel the same." He smiles and then squeezes my hand. " But Bella, you have to stop over thinking it. I can see those wheels turning, just stop it okay? Just be with me."

I look at him questioningly, with eybrow raised. Before I can call him out on his bullshit he speaks again.

"I know, I know...I'm one to talk about just letting go. I had all of these plans, I wasn't going to stray from those plans, but plans change." He kisses my hand again." You are a part of my plan now...a _big_ part."

I smile at him, not able to hold back.

"You make me so happy." I breathe. "It scares me."

"Why does it scare you?"

I look down at the table and try not to choke up. "Because everything has happened so fast, it could just as quickly disappear."

"No..." Edward starts but I keep going.

"When we are together the whole world disappears, nothing else matters. The minute we leave each others presence though, all of these ouside forces start pushing their way through. Your ex-wife..."

"Angela. I know. Listen, we don't have to worry about her anymore. There was a restraining order, she violated it. I'm confident we won't be seeing her again soon." He looks at me with conviction.

I'm still doubting. "Yeah but, you said you took care of her before, and she still managed to find and harrass you. What is she after, Edward? Why won't she leave you alone?"

He runs his hand through his hair and sighs. "I think Ben is pressuring her for money, it's the only thing I can think of."

"But how can he do that, Edward, you guys are divorced?"

"It's part of the settlement, Bella. I've been stuck having to pay alimony."

"But you have this restraining order and now she's violated it. Doesn't that help your case? Seems you would be able to contest that portion of the settlement due to her transgressions?"

"I'm working on it. I've definitely got some leverage now, that's for sure." Edward looks at me and smiles.

"Now let's not worry about this anymore today, I want to spend time with you. I want to know everything about you, what makes you tick."

I chuckle but deep down I'm still nervous about Angela, this nagging feeling just won't go away.

I force a smile, "Okay, what do you want to know about me?"

"You're favorite color?"

"Green." I blush.

Edward catches on, "Mine is brown." He winks.

"Alright, your favorite food..."

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

Our day off is filled with laughter and just learning new things about each other. For instance, I never would have taken Edward for a baseball fan or a fisherman. To hear him talk about it makes me so happy inside, my father and he would have gotten along great. I feel a twang of pain in my heart knowing that Edward will never get the chance to meet my father, but at the same time it warms me to know that Charlie most definitely would have approved.

I tell Edward about my childhood, what it was like being an only child...the lonliness. He wraps me in his arms and tells me. "You will never be lonely again, Bella. I promise." And in my heart I believe him, even though my brain tries to tell me otherwise.

At my apartment we cook dinner together; vegitarian stir fry, because Edward doesn't eat meat, and we drink wine. After cleaning up the kitchen we retire to the sofa where we snuggle up with the lights out and just listen to the sound of each others breathing. When it's time for bed we kiss our way to my bedroom, where Edward takes his time stripping me of my clothes. We make love nice and slow and just enjoy every second...every inch of each other. We sleep in our own little cacoon, oblivious to anything or anybody. Our own little haven away from the stresses of work and crazy ex-wives.

**A/N**

**Thanks again to everyone who is reading and reviewing. Big smooches to you all.**

**Word Prompt for MW2:**

"**cherry"**

**Yum! **

**Xxxooo**


	22. Chapter 22

**OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…..here's to lazy days no?..Sounds like Bella and Edward had one…complete with omelets and homefries…YUM. **

**Me thinks Ms. Dragon Lady can be put on the back burner for just a bit….*snort*….and we need to see how our young lovers slept through the night….Here comes the sun!**

**YadaaaaaaYadaaaaaYadaaaa….SM still ya..you get it…nothing is ours….it's all hers.**

**Chapter 22 – Cherry (seriously ATS?)**

**Edward**

I woke up smelling my three favorite scents. Coconut, vanilla and chocolate. Eyes opening slowly, I could feel Bella's luscious ass against my morning wood. I propped myself up on my elbow and snuck a glance. _God she is beautiful. _

I pulled her closer to me, if that was possible, and snuggled back down into the pillow, enjoying the warmth of her body against mine. _You need to work on making this permanent bud._

Laying there in the peaceful quiet, I skimmed the memory of yesterday. Bella had revealed many things to me, and it just fueled my hunger to learn even more. Green. Her favorite color was green. She thought my eyeglasses were sexy. She loved home fries in bacon grease. She's never been tubing in the winter, she didn't know how to drive a stick shift, and she loved…._**absolutely loved**_ cherry cobbler.

We shared so many things yesterday at that diner. Some important and some goofy, but all essential to knowing each other on a deeper level. I loathed going back to work and parting from her today, but we still had tonight.

Last night after a veggie stir fry she had the balls to laugh at me for eating potatoes fried in bacon grease but not eating the bacon until I explained to her about my unruly digestive system and meat. Bella informed me she had to see it to believe it. She's crazy.

Making love to her was truly sublime. Fucking fantastic. Slow, fast…soft and tender or deep and hard…..didn't matter, it was Bella and the whole experience was better because of it.

Bella stirred and I found myself subconsciously pushing my hips into her, cupping her breast with my hand. Kissing her neck seemed to be the next natural step, so I obliged my mouth and tasted both her neck and shoulders.

"Morning Edward." Bella turned to face me and moved some hair off my forehead. "You sleep well?"

"Best night's sleep I've had in a while pretty girl. How'd you sleep?"

"Like a baby….baby." She snorted and giggled, her eyes twinkling.

"I can't miss work today Edward. I left Jasper in a lurch yesterday, and I need this job."

_That dude's an asshole…I wish Bella would walk away from it… _

"It's only 6:30 pretty girl….we've got lots of time." I bent down to kiss her lips and rolled her at the same time, nestling between her legs. "Need to leave you with something to remember me by today." I winked at her and slowly slid home, gathering her in my arms at the same time.

I don't know about her memory of this morning, but it was burned into mine.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

"Edward, Jenks is on line one" Mrs. Cope yelled from her desk.

I picked up the line, hoping for some stellar news. "Jenks. So, where are we at?"

"Security detail set up at your apartment building Edward. They will be in plain clothes, operating on the down-low. No one will even know they are there….unless someone tries something." He chuckled, impressed with his words I guess.

"How many and how many shifts?"

"Three per shift, five shifts in a 24 hour period."

"Good to know. What happens if we leave the apartment though?"

"You're on your own. I only secured for the apartment Edward. That's where she's been a threat,and the fact that she's willingly given up half of her alimony for this infraction makes me think she's gonna disappear back to Portland anyway."

"Let's hope you're right. Okay Jenks, keep me up to date and thanks man."

"See ya." Jenks disconnected his line and I went back to work, but couldn't concentrate.

I kept thinking about what I had told Bella about dragon lady and her reaction. I knew I was gambling here, but I think once Angela's reality checks in, and she's getting less money….she will give it up, not to mention the fact that she's spending three days in jail. Angela isn't cut out for jail. Hell, Angela isn't cut out for luxury camping.

Lunch came and went, the day busy. By five pm, I was ready to leave it all and find Bella. I wanted to take her away for the weekend. Maybe not this weekend, but before Christmas….and I wanted her with me during Christmas. She hadn't really told me too much about her family…just her parents, or lack of them. I don't know if she had any kind of family or not. I think she would like Christmas with the Cullens….

I parked my car in the garage under the apartments and took the stairs up to our floor. Clearing the landing, and half way to Bella's door, I heard that damn fur-ball purring loudly. I couldn't see his mangy orange ass, but I could hear him. _What the fuck? Where is that flea bag? ….Shit..it's like he's in the walls or something. I can hear the damn thing so bad; it's vibrating my ear drums….._

Two steps from my door, I was knocked to the ground as something flew from the right and landed on my shoulder, pushing me down. I came up swinging, ready for a fight.

"Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…….." It was the fucking fur –ball.

"What the hell are you doing Dingleberry? I'm not the enemy…..damn."

I brushed myself off and gave the cat the stink eye. Dingleberry looked at me and nodded his head, sauntering off towards Bella's door.

"Ya..go bug her you mangy cat." I opened my door to hear that cat charging me from behind. Before I could close the door, the cat made it inside my apartment.

"Oh hale no cat. Get the hell out." I opened the door and the cat looked at me and laid down.

I bent over to pick it up. I seriously wanted this thing to leave me the fuck alone. I had things to do tonight, and wanted to make Bella supper. I'm surprised she hadn't heard the cat's antics and come to her door.

_**Fur-bag o' mange**_ jumped out of my grasp and took off for Bella's door, patting it with his paw when he got there.

"Dingleberry?...what the hell is going on here?...what's your malfunction?" I couldn't identify with the behavior, so I turned around to go back to my apartment, when the cat screeched and threw himself against Bella's door. Cat-ese started to kick in for me and I went to Bella's door knocking loudly.

"Bella….pretty girl…you in there? Are you ok?"

No answer. I tried again. The cat was crying, or making some off tune sound that resembled crying. I went back to my place quickly and retrieved the key she had given me _**just in case**_. "Please God don't let this be a just in case."

I wiggled the key in the lock and opened the door to see James, with his hand on Bella's neck, pushing her up against the wall. Both of them oblivious to my presence.

"Bitch, I'm done being nice….one last time…. why did you send those spies here?"

"Breath….I can't…Brea…." Bella struggled with the words as she was starting to turn purple.

Two seconds later, I made sure she was free of James grip. Bella slumped to the floor against the wall, breathing hard and wiping tears from her eyes.

James found himself unconscious on the floor by the door, the cat sitting on him. I checked over Bella, calling 911 at the same time. It didn't take long for their arrival, and I left the apartment door open so they would see James.

James came to as they were hauling his ass out of there.

"Bella, baby…speak to me..can you?..are you okay?...can I hold you please?" I was frantic, not knowing how to handle this. Good God, she's just been assaulted and I didn't know how to handle it. _Get a grip bud….she needs you….you can freak later….just not now._

"Baby, tell me what happened…can you?" She looked up at me and scooted over to my lap, putting her head on my shoulder and taking a deep breath.

"I was getting ready to make you some cookies Edward. I had gotten home from work and Jasper had been kind to me all day….strangest thing….oh..and his wife was there. Then I was just making the cookies, and my door opened."

"I thought it was you and came around the corner to say hello. He started spouting things about spies and I ordered them, that he'd never trusted me..and… etc….blah..blah….Edward…I have no fucking clue what James is talking about…or why he spazzed out on me like that."

"Pretty girl, how long has James been the Super? How long have you lived here?"

"He came just before you did Edward. He replaced old man Clearwater. I don't know him at all, except to fix stuff or unlock doors." She looked up at me confused.

"Was he wasted or drunk….did you smell alcohol on him?" Something was so out of sorts with this. It made no sense.

"No, he looked fine, other than being so angry. Maybe he's bi-polar and I was the south today?" Bella's attempt at humor aggravated me. She had been hurt…I didn't want to joke.

The officer took her statement and left, promising to find out exactly what was going on.

"C'mon pretty girl, let's get you out of here."

"What, wait….Edward...why?" Bella was perplexed.

"Because you just got assaulted in your home. Don't you feel violated?"

"No. I feel like an idiot blamed me for something I didn't do, and he didn't win. If I run away from this apartment, no matter how much I want to, then he wins for real. No….I'm staying here, and making my damn cookies and you are going to eat them. Understand?" Bella stomped her foot for effect. "Just..Edward…?"

So brave she was, I was in awe. "What pretty girl?"

"Stay with me tonight…here?...I can face it if you are here with me."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Let me go get some things and I'll be right back okay?"

Her blinding smile made me hurry even faster.

Dingleberry was by my door waiting. I leaned down to pet his mangy head. "Thank you fur-ball. You saved her today."

"Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…" Fur-ball nodded his head and walked away.

**A/N**

**Dingleberry to the rescue!...again…..LOL..OK, so….um James….he's kinda "out there"…and now's he's "In there"….hahahahahaha….so to speak.**

**Bella's not running…she's standing her ground….gonna fight back this time…wonder what that means in the future?..feisty Bella?..interesting.**

**And when's Bella gonna put two and two together and realize the undercover cops outside are the "spies" from James' head?...or that there are undercover cops outside?...hm.**

**You all wondering why the security detail didn't come running?...They are undercover, and in charge of protecting Edward and those that are with him…also…if Edward didn't know James was in there….and he is right next door….how did the security detail know?...ya….and Edward couldn't rightly call out for them….He doesn't even know who they are.**

**ATS…..You are the cream to my strawberries…the cobbler to my cherry….(giggle….)**

**Here's your word baby….**

_**Toejam**_

**Big friggin kisses and hugs…..**

**MW2**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hello my peoples! So here we are again. Let's see what happens today in the life of Edward and Bella...and Dingleberry of course! Can't forget that little fucker.**

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing. We really do enjoy hearing from you. ;)**

**MW2, you are cruisin for a bruisin my dear..."toejam"? Uh, what the hell? Ohhhh how you challenge me. _Grrrrr..._**

**Disclaimer - SM owns all things Twilight.**

**Chapter 23 - "Toejam"**

**Bella**

Before leaving for work this morning, I put a bowl of food and water out in the hallway. I never thought I would care about the well being of an animal, but Dingleberry has proven me wrong. I feel I owe him. So many good things have come into my life since he showed up on my doormat. Forcing me to stop and just look around is what made me _see_ Edward for the first time. I don't even need to mention the way he tried to take on Dragon lady and then how he alerted Edward that I was being attacked...yeah, feeding him is the least that I can do to show my appreciation. I'm not sure where he's been getting his nourishment up until this point, I only ever see him licking his own ass and toejam.

_That can't be very healthy._

Anyway, I picked up some cat food and plan on taking care of him as much as he'll let me. Dingleberry is like my own little guardian angel and like I said, I owe him.

I rub my neck at the rememberance of James choking me, I've never been so scared in my life. Thank God Edward was able to get to me, I don't even want to think about what could have happened if he hadn't.

I decided to go ahead with my regular routine this morning, determined not to let the events of yesterday get to me. James is in custody and Edward in my bed, I feel safe enough. Jasper sent me home early yesterday and that is making me more nervous than the possibility of a crazy Super stalking me. I simply don't know why he would let me go when there is so much work to be done.

I rush across the street to my office building, it's raining as usual so I shield my head with my bag. I feel a sudden chill run up my spine and turn to look around once I get to the curb. I don't see anything suspicious so I just continue on into the building, figuring that there is just some lingering fear from last night.

Edward tried to get me to stay home again today, but I wasn't having it. He even tried to convince me to stay by using one of my sex toys from the treasure trove. As difficult as it was to stop, I managed to dodge the _bullet _and get away from him. I know I will pay later. Do I mind? _Nope._

_Bring it on sexy man._

I know I'm blushing right now just at the thought of him pressing the bullet against my...

The elevator dings signaling my arrival on the third floor.

I shake my head to clear it and start walking towards my cubical, I look at the clock mounted on the wall above the receptionist's desk. There seems to be an awful lot of people here so early in the morning. I'm not late...in fact I'm twenty minutes early so I'm wondering what the hell is going on.

I round the corner into my cubical and see that most of the shit that I left there yesterday is gone. Now I'm fucking pissed. I look over the wall to see Jessica on the phone, talking animatedly to lord knows who, and everyone else seems to be up to their elbows in work. I decide I need to just go in and see Jasper, find out what the hell is going on.

I get to his office door and it is open, so I knock lightly on it. Jasper is behind his desk, glasses perched on the tip of his nose, as usual, and heavy into conversation. He sees me, holds up a finger and then finishes up the call.

"Hey Bella, come on it." He says distractedly.

I walk in and get right to the point. "What's going on, Jasper? I come in today and everyone is already working, someone took my things off of my desk. Should I be worried for my job?" I'm standing in front of his desk looking down at him, hands on my hips.

Jasper takes his glasses off of his face and lays them down on the desk. "Please sit down, Bella. It's not what you think." I feel a _little_ better. He continues, " I ran into a snag and it had to be taken care of now...like _yesterday_." Emphasis on _yesterday_. "It popped up after I sent you home so I had to keep some people back to help out. We were here most of the night but still didn't get the problem fixed, so I had everyone come in early today." He shrugs his shoulders.

"Everyone but me." I state matter of factly.

"Everyone but you." He confirms. "Listen Bella, I read the paper this morning, I know what happened to you last night. Do you seriously believe I would make you come into work after something like that? Hell, you have bruises on your neck for damn sakes." I can see the muscle in Jasper's jaw as the anger rises in him.

"No man should ever raise his hand to a woman. I hope that son-of-a-bitch gets what's coming to him." He all but growls.

Jasper is staring at the wall behind me, lost in a memory or something. It's off. I feel like there is more behind the words he is saying.

"It's fine, Jasper. The guy is in jail and my boyfriend is staying with me." Jasper's eyes shift back to mine and that jaw muscle is twitching again.

"I feel safe, Jasper. Edward wouldn't let anything happen to me." He continues to just stare into my eyes, almost like he's trying to speak to me with his mind. I'm not getting it.

Jasper reaches down to pick up his glasses and puts them back on his face.

"Right, well I have Lauren and Mike working on the edits for the lead stories and Jessica is on the FOB, so I guess you can just do some research today. Nothing heavy, Bella. I want you to just take it easy okay?"

I'm just looking at him in stunned silence. He handed off my work to _other_ people...Jessica for damn sakes! I'm livid.

"Now wait just a minute, Jasper. I am totally capable of doing _my_ job, last night is not going to get in the way of me doing my job. I won't let it.

Jasper takes his glasses off again and leans up onto his elbows. "Bella, you have too many _distractions _in your life right now." Now I'm sure he's talking about something more than what just happened with James.

"For the sake of the publication, it's best that I delegate out a bulk of your work. As soon as you feel up to it I'll give you a bit more and see how you handle it."

"But Jasper..." I try to argue.

"No, Bella, this is how it has to be. Obviously the large work load has been taking it's toll, you've already had to take a day off..." He looks intently into my eyes, my stomach drops. He continues, "and then what happened last night... it's what's best for the paper. Now go on and try to get some work done." He smiles. " The story waits for no one." He winks and tries to lighten the mood by throwing out his favorite phrase. I reluctantly smile back but I'm not having it. I knew this is what would happen if I called in the other day. I'm kicking myself internally.

I go back to my desk and just bang my head against it. I can't believe it's all slipping away from me. I don't want to be, but a part of me is angry at Edward for talking me into ditching the other day. Sure, our day together was amazing, but it is just a reminder of how much of a distraction a love life is to my career goals. I was so focused, I had a plan. Letting go of all of that is just not going to happen.

I decide that I need to slow things down, I need to distance myself a little from Edward. When I am around him all rational thought disappears and I just cant afford to let that happen. It's only been two days and look what I've already lost.

A tear streams down my face and hits the top of my desk before I can catch it.

_I need to get away to think. _

_I can't lose Edward...I can't lose my job..._

I'm all mixed up inside and I can't take it. Maybe if I just leave for a day or two, it will help me to refocus...get my life back on track. Edward will be confused and upset, I'm sure, but I have to do this. I've worked so hard to get to where I am, I'll be damned if I'm going to let it all just slip away.

_It's settled._

Tomorrow is Friday. After work I will send Edward a text telling him of my plans. I can't tell him in person, he will persuade me to stay home and _talk_ it out with him. Talking things out is what has gotten me into this mess in the first place. No, I need to figure this out on my own.

I wipe the moisture from my eyes and take a deep breath. I can do this.

I turn in time to see a head pop up over my cubicle wall. _Jessica_.

"Well, well, well...tears? Really Bella, are things really _that _bad?" She says as she fans her face with some papers..._my_ papers that she obviously got from the top of _my_ desk. I'm a second away from scratching her eyes out but decide against it. Instead I just say...

"Go fuck yourself Jessica."

Then I get back to work as she smiles and does the same.

**A/N**

**Uh oh...looks like trouble in paradise. Wonder where Bella will go? How is Edward going to react to all of this?**

**Here ya go MW2, handing the baton to you my friend. Let's see where you take it.**

**Word Prompt:**

"**booger"**


	24. Chapter 24

***rubs shoulder and sees the big ass bruise forming*…..Ow…shit ATS…you didn't have to hit so damn hard…geesh…. *cheeky grin* (wait til she sees this chapter's word…..hahahahahaha)**

**Okay girls and boys….let's just get right to it shall we?...and same ol' same ol' SM still owns the lot.**

**Lil trouble in paradise me thinks….too bad Edward isn't gonna let it go by without fixing it…or trying to….read on peoples.**

**Chapter 24 – Booger (truly now, this is making me gag)**

**Edward**

She left. Last night, Bella just left. I sat, **still** stunned on my couch replaying last night's events. Sure, I knew deep down it wasn't _**me **_per say….but it hurt all the same, and it didn't stop the insecurity from creeping up. _She's running._

"Bella, I bought some wonderful lobster tails. My stove or yours?" I wanted to cook with her this time, to see how she moved in the kitchen.

"Edward, I can't tonight. I'm taking a small trip."

"Where?...why?"

"I need to get away for a while." She sounded so sad.

"Oh…Okay, I can pack a quick bag and…."

"No….Edward, um….I need to get away by myself for a few days."

"Wait…Bella…."

"I've made up my mind Edward. I'm leaving in a few minutes. I just need some time to gather myself….okay?"

"I can't come with you?" Devastation and anger both hit me. This wasn't part of the plan. _Why the hell is she running….running from me?_

"Bella, did I do something wrong?"

"No….it's not…just….shit!...Edward, everything has happened so fast, and I feel I've lost my focus. I just need the time to regroup. I'm not leaving forever, just the weekend. I promise."

"When will you be home? Will you call me when you're away?...Bella, give me something here…I'm lost…..please don't run from me."

"I'll contact you during the weekend Edward, but I need to figure things out and I can't do it if you are there."

"You mean, you need to figure out us right?" That was it, insecurity was hitting and I didn't want to get dumped.

"No..God No Edward!...Please understand…..I'm just overwhelmed right now."

"Well, ok then…." I said it too arrogantly, but damn it…my feelings were hurt. Being a man doesn't mean my feelings don't get hurt. "Guess I'll see ya around."

"Edward wait….I don't mean…." Too late…I hung up. _Shit..what did I do that for…damn it. Fix it fuckhead…fix it._

I dialed her back and it went to voicemail…. "GOD DAMN IT!"….I threw the phone and pulled into the parking garage.

Secluded in my apartment, I cooked those damn lobster tails anyway and fed them to Dingleberry…after I punched a hole in the wall, and he looked at me disappointed.

**~FTL~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

"Dude…c'mon…it's gonna be fun…just the guys…you and me bud….beer, steak…the game…c'mon."

Emmett had been trying to rouse me from the couch all afternoon. Going to a bar was the last thing I wanted to do…

"Edward…either you get your pity poor me self off the couch and come along, or I carry you down to the car. Don't think I can't handle your skinny ass. So what man…_**So what**_? Your girl went out of town for the weekend. No biggie, and you can go do your own thing…It's what stable relationships are made out of brother…." He nodded, emphasizing his point.

"Emmett, I wouldn't be good company tonight. I was rude to Bella and …"

"Dude…is that why she left?..Oh shit….you should have told me."

"No….when she said I couldn't go, I got shitty with her."

"Oh..no big then….you can fix that when she comes home. So, come on…..go get in the shower and wash your stinky ass and blow your nose…you've got a booger hanging and it's bothering me." Emmett grinned, trying to make me feel better…..wasn't working.

I reluctantly got ready and within the hour, we were seated at a table in the corner pub, eating steak, drinking beer and watching the Seahawks play. I had to admit, it did get me out of my own mind for a few hours and maybe that was a good thing.

Yup….it was a good thing…til I spied that asshole blonde paper boy in the booth across the bar. Emmett followed my line of stink eye and cackled. "Dude…who is that?...you look pissed….what the fuck…did he piss in your cheerios or something?"

I didn't even hear Emmett as I stood up and walked over to Jasper. He was sitting with a petite woman….black hair, wild as fuck all over her head….I was on a mission, and my brain just moved my legs over there.

"**YOU!**" I pointed right at him and the pixie cringed. The beers in my system made my courage greater than normal….or my arrogance…..tomato.._tomato_…..whichever you prefer….

"YOU made her leave…why the fuck can't you just leave Bella be…huh man?...her personal life is that…hers….she's a fucking great editor. She's brought your circulation up, she's worked her ass off for that paper, and you tell her she's not pulling her weight?..Who the fuck do you think you are dickwipe?"

"None of your business _**Eddwwwwward**_" the douche cockily answered me and went back to his wings.

"It is my business you asshole….you made her think she was unworthy. Tell me this Jasper….when was the last time she called in sick? Took a day off?...got assaulted in her own apartment and made it to work the next day?"

He looked up at me and swallowed hard. "Ya you piece of shit….what the fuck is your problem? Bella's given you nothing but hard work and so she finds someone she's interested in….she deserves a life fucknut….let her have it."

"Excuse me…" The pixie tried to interrupt, but I wasn't done.

"Why….did you fart?" I was pissed and damn if anyone was going to interrupt me. I looked back to Jasper and continued.

"Why is it so damn important to you that Bella have no fucking life outside that paper?...tell me why buddy…."

"Bella has great potential as an editor, but she needs to set her priorities straight. You make her priorities to the paper second best. I can't have that Edward. If she is to succeed, then she needs to be single, so she can devote the time necessary to the growth of the paper." That selfish bastard looked up at me and smirked.

"So…let me get this straight…you can have a wife…a life outside the paper, but Bella can't…..is that what you are saying?"

"Well…." Fuckwit stumbled on his words a bit.._yup..I got your number asshat. _"Not necessarily Edward. She can have a life outside the paper, it's just the object of her focus is not what she should be focusing on….or not worthy of her focus."

His sneer set me off more than I was to begin with. "Are you kidding me with this bullshit….you are saying that she can have a boyfriend, just not me."

"Take it how you want Edward, but…I do think Bella's interests would best be served if you were not in the picture."

I don't even remember my fists flying…..just that pixiegirl jumping over the booth seat and running for help. She encountered Emmett on her way.

By the time Emmett pulled me off Jasper, I landed shots to both his eyes and lip. Fucker didn't even see it coming, but the pixie did…and damn was she fast.

"Time to go Eddie…." Emmett pulled me through the door and pushed me up the street to his car.

"Did you hear the slime coming outta that bastard's mouth Emmett?"

"Ya I did bud…why doesn't he like you….?"

"Josie."

"Oh shit on a stick….fuck….man….that dude knows Josie?" Emmett was beside himself with this revelation. He knew everything that crazed lady had tried.

"That's Josie's brother Em." I held my hand up, looking for any bruising.

"_shhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiit_….Edward…_dude_…."

"Yup. Definitely **NOT** part of the plan, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Um..sorry to tell you this, but I don't think what you just did helped."

"Tell me about it…."

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

Sunday morning rose dreary and grey. It fit my mood to a T. I was clueless…nada on anything remotely good to do to fix what was wrong with Bella. She hadn't called, and all my calls to her went straight to voice mail. I had apologized…profusely for being a dickhead to her on Friday….but man I was still fucked.

I didn't know what I was going to say about the Jasper incident. She would most likely walk away from me now. _What the hell am I gonna do?_

A knock at the door roused my depressed state and I answered it, not expecting what was in front of me.

"Hello Edward. I'm sorry I didn't get to introduce myself to you last night. I'm Alice…Jasper's wife."

"What do you want?" My guard was up immediately. This wouldn't be good….I could feel it.

"I want to apologize for Jasper's behavior last night, and maybe help you."

"How the fuck are you gonna help me lady?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"I know Josie is a lunatic Edward…I've been telling Jasper that for years. I also know that Bella is happier now than I have ever seen her, and I do believe that's because of you….." she took a deep breath and plowed forward….talking faster the more that came out of her mouth.

"Jasper deserved the punches last night Edward. He was an arrogant fool. He cannot control people's lives like he thinks. I want to help you, and as much as I love my husband and wish to protect him…..sometimes he needs protected from himself….so consider me doing this not so much for you….but to help him grow up a bit…"

Alice looked up at me and stuck out her hand. I was confused, conflicted even….but oh so curious. I took her hand and shook it.

"Deal then Edward? ….I help you….you help Bella…and we all help Jasper…"

"Deal."

**A/N**

**Well now….Alice is a spitfire…I kinda like that about her!...**

**Wonder what ass kicking Jasper is in for…and if Bella will let it happen?...hmm….and we know what Edward did with his weekend….what did Bella do?**

**ATS is up next, wonder what road she's gonna travel down….?**

**ATS…your word is**

_**Enema**_

***talks to self…*….booger…the girl gave me booger…ya..well, two things I hate discussing…shit….and boogers…*walks away shaking head***


	25. Chapter 25

**Dammit MW2, "enema"? You are not a nice person, I am cursing you right now. You will find a booger on your shirt, dog poop on your shoe! Muwahaaaaa, ha, ha...**

**Disclaimer: SM owns it, works it, lives it. I'm so jealous.**

**Chapter 25 - Enema**

**Bella**

"Fuck!"

He called...Edward called me before I got the chance to text him. I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to hear him try to persuade me not to go. I didn't want to hear him confused and upset, but most of all, I didn't want to hear him get angry with me. All of these things happenened though, in direct succession. I don't know why I even thought I could just sneak away. Edward wants to be with me all the time. In such a short amount of time we have become inseparable.

_And that is exactly why you needed this time away, you idiot._

I turned off my phone and ran to my car with my overnight bag in tow. Dingleberry was out in the hallway sitting on Edward's doormat, licking himself.

I was in the clear.

I decided to drive to Forks, to stay at my father's house for the night. Figuring that one night away from Edward would surely be enough.

My father left me his home after he died, that along with his retirement money and a settlement from the State for being killed in the line of duty. I haven't spent any of the money on myself, it's not an exorbitant amount or anything, I just can't see spending Charlie's money on myself. It doesn't seem right. I've always just taken care of myself anyway, so it's not like I need it. The house though, this house means everything to me. It just feels like Charlie is with me whenever I am here. I've used Charlie's money to maintain the house...to keep my father's dream and memory alive.

I pull into the driveway and just look out at the little white house with dark green shutters. Small and insignificant to others, but to me it is a mansion. This house is the only tangible evidence left that I actually had a family. The neighbors that surround all knew us when we lived here, Charlie is a part of their memories too. I don't feel alone in my memories when I am here. That life wasn't just a dream or a story I tell. It's real to somebody else too. It warms my heart to know that I will probably see Mr. and Mrs. Wilson tomorrow and they will wave to me. The Crowly's, on the corner, will see my car and probably stop in to say 'hello'. It is the only feeling of home I will ever get anymore, so I will take it.

I exit my car and just stand in the open door, breathing in the smells of the woods and rain. It's dark out, the lights from surrounding porch lights show through it with sharp contrast. Sighing, I push off from the car, lock it up and head up the stairs to the front door.

It's so quiet.

When I'm inside I smell the remnants of paint and wood, nothing smells musty and old like the typical old house that has been sitting empty and alone. No, I had everything renovated to look exactly the way it did when I was a child. Sure, I took some liberties in the kitchen, but for the most part everything is just shiney and new. Nothing extravagant.

There's nothing in the fridge to eat, obviously, so I grab a glass of water and just sit on the couch. The fast food I ate on the drive up is still sitting heavily in my stomach, there is no need to worry about eating any time soon.

_I knew I shouldn't have eaten that damn value meal, now I'm gonna need an enema._

Shaking the nasty thought from my mind, I sit and just look around. I stare at the walls where my childhood school pictures are displayed, I look towards the chair where my father would be sitting, if he were still alive. My hand smoothes over the cushion of the couch as I sit and recall the memories of a time when things were easier. At around 1 a.m., my over exhausted mind has nothing left to process, so I lay down and give into sleep. It is peaceful and uninterrupted...just what I needed.

The next morning I don't run. It's the strangest thing, but I simply don't feel the need to do it. Instead I drive to the grocery store and pick up some things to make breakfast, and a few other necessities. While I'm eating my scrambled eggs and toast, there is a knock at the door. I smile because, as I predicted, Mrs. Crowley is here bright and early to greet me. I invite her in and we drink coffee and talk. I ask her how the kids are doing, she asks me what I am doing with my life in Seattle. It's difficult for me to answer that question now, so I just smile and tell her that I am doing okay. I do fill her in on what happened at work, it's something that I really need to get off of my chest. Helen tells me something that I never would have realized on my own.

"Bella honey, find what truly makes you happy, and everything else will just fall into place."

When she is gone and I am alone again, time seems to just stand still. I think about what Helen said, I wonder what it is that truly makes me happy? Is it Edward, is it my job? When I look out the window, what seems like a short time later, I see that the sky has darkened into night. My plan to drive back to Seattle today is shot. I decide not to call Edward, instead I settle in for another night in my father's home.

Saturday came and went and here I am in La Push on Sunday morning, sitting on the beach, breathing in the salty air and crying for all of the things in my life that I wish were different. I wish that things were easier, everyone else seems to have it so much easier than me...parents, family, love. Me, I only have myself and an old house filled with memories.

_You have Edward too, you idiot._

But how can I trust that..._him_? I trusted it before and what do I have to show for it?

I'm pulled from my pity party by the sounds of laughter in the distance. Looking to my left I see a man and woman walking hand in hand. The man has a small child on his shoulders and they are all laughing. Seagulls are running along the sand with them, and the child's laughter at this is so sweet and wonderful. I can't help myself from smiling too.

They don't notice me at all, sitting in the sand; they are in their own little bubble of happiness, my presence could never penetrate it. As they approach, I can see their faces with much more detail. What I see is the person that I'd hoped to never see again walking right in front of me.

_Jake._

Jake has a family and is happy. He found someone to love and is living his life exactly the way he always wanted.

_And I am not a part of this life_.

He has a beautiful daughter who has his dark hair and eyes, his wife's smile. He is happy.

I put my hand on my chest, waiting for the pain that usually comes with thoughts of him, but it never comes. Instead, I feel a bit of gratitude towards Jake. I feel okay. I feel that things have happened for a reason...we were never meant to be together, and deep down I think I always knew this. Jake is happy and _that_ makes me happy.

_Edward._

My subconscience says his name and I am listening.

I jump up and run towards my car, brushing the sand from my pants as I go. I don't bother to look back at the lovely family on the beach, my future is in front of me now. My future is in Seattle. My future is with Edward...that is if he'll still have me.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

I pull up to the apartment around 4 o'clock. I'm nervous but determined, I need to find Edward and straighten this whole thing out.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I fly up to my floor in a matter of seconds. When I reach my destination, the vision that awaits me haults all of my movements. There on the floor, leaning against my apartment door, is Edward. Dingleberry is next to him chewing on his cell phone. I giggle despite myself and this causes Edward's head to raise. My giggle is immediately silenced as I take in the expression on his face.

He jumps to his feet and stands there just staring at me. His eyes are red, droopy and tired; hair a tangled mess, like he's been tugging on it for days.

_2 days you idiot._

I don't waste another second and swiftly walk to him. He moves, ever so slightly, back as I approach him. Like I might hit him or something.

"Edward." I breathe.

He closes his eyes.

"Edward, I'm so sorry I ran again."

And I am in his arms with his face in my neck. Edward is breathing me in, desperation in his hold.

"I missed you." He whispers.

I am crying on the outside but on the inside I am happier than I have ever felt.

Edward releases me a little, enough to pull his head back and look me in the eyes. They are red and tortured, I can't take it.

"Edward, I'm so sorry I ran, I'm so sorry I hurt you."

He grabs my face and silences me with a kiss. A kiss that starts out slow but escalates into something desperate and passionate.

"I love you." I say between kisses.

"Edward I love you, I need you."

The kisses abruptly stop at my declarations.

I am looking into Edward's eyes, he is looking for the truth in mine.

That is exactly what he must get because before I can say anything else, I feel as I am being lifted from the ground . My legs are wrapped around his waist and I am running my fingers through his hair as he walks us to his apartment door.

"Don't ever run from me again, Bella." He pleads.

"I won't. I promise." I say as I kiss all over his face...his cheeks, his eyes, his lips.

"I can't be apart from you again. I love you, Bella."

And I am gone. I am kissing him like my life depends on it.

_It does._

And as Edward takes me into his apartment and back to his bedroom, _our bedroom, _the words of old Mrs. Crowly come back to my mind.

"_Find what truly makes you happy, and everything else will just fall into place."_

I smile and hold on tighter to the one thing that matters the most... what truly makes me happy.

Edward.

**A/N**

**Sniff, sniff...honestly, I just made myself tear up. **

**Here ya go MW2, take it and run with it.**

**Word Prompt:**

"**elephantitis"**


	26. Chapter 26

**ELEPHANTITIS?...ARE YOU FOR REAL? I was gonna give you all a sweet and tart lemon, but ATS decided I needed to use the word Elephantitis….you know, that's only a word you could use if Emmett is involved. *rubs palm over face vigorously* Hmm…..**

**We are still following behind SM, because she owns it all. We just pull her characters out and play dress up with them from time to time.**

**ATS….even though you are the sun to my shine…the moon to my light, the whip to my cream….I've got three words for ya… "To the Moon"….*snicker, and a big ol eyebrow raise***

**OH…and remember that chocolate caramel cake?...ya..recipe below if you care.**

**Chapter 26 – Elephantitis (gonna smack yourself when you see the true definition…..)**

**Edward**

Mrs. Cope brought me lunch. That woman is a saint, and I can never repay her for all that she does. I sat at my desk, too busy to go hunt nourishment, and she went and secured the biggest, baddest, most wonderful sub and fries a man could ask for. _You are a smart son of a bitch for bringing her with you. _"True dat."

"What did you say Edward?" My door to the outer office open, Mrs. Cope was running around doing _**officey things**_.

"Aren't you eating lunch?" I shifted in my seat and changed the subject. _She heard that?_

"I have my lunch here Edward, just wanted to clear my desk of a few things before I enjoyed it. You're 1:00 p.m. will be here in about 15 minutes. Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be, thanks to you. Hey…I ever tell you how wonderful you are Mrs. Cope."

"Not enough Edward…..never enough." She deadpanned and then giggled. "Edward, I'm just glad to see you chipper this morning. Yesterday was a bad day for you and I don't ever want to see it again."

"Me either….." I finished my lunch and started to re-review the file for my 1:00 p.m. I heard Emmett's loud voice right outside the door….as per usual.

"Pay up Emmett."

"Mrs. Cope….I..um…"

"Pay up loser. I was right…you were wrong."

"Um…I'm …I don't have any tens on me."

"I'll take a twenty then."

"Well shit." I could hear Emmett rustling through his wallet.

"Nice doing business with you Emmett. Come back anytime."

Emmett's mumble could be heard as he went back to his office to sulk. I laughed as I remembered the events of yesterday….all of them, leading to my excellent mood today.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

I woke up Sunday with a sore hand, rumpled clothes and smelling like ass. After Alice left, my mood lifted slightly, but I was still suspicious.

Emmett came over early afternoon to get lunch. "Dude, you're poor company. Lighten up a bit. She'll come home….all her things are here…you can fix whatever the problem is when she comes home."

"I don't know Emmett. She just left….poof…and she was adamant about going by herself. Maybe I came on too hard and scared her away. Am I too clingly Em?"

"You're a man in love Eddie. I don't know that I would have beaten her boss to a pulp, but I kinda understand why you did. At least his wife is in your corner."

"Yeah, but I'm gonna have to tell Bella about that when she comes home and that may send her packing."

"Listen…dude…" Emmett turned his car around and left the city limits. "Dude…we have a ½ tank of gas…..a pack of cigarettes and we are on a mission…"

"What?"

"Hang on tight buddy…gonna be a bumpy ride. We are going in."

"What the fuck Em..have you lost your mind?" He was quoting movie quips and I had a real problem to fix.

"No, but if you survive the mission with yours intact we'll celebrate with a beer."

"Shit Em….where are you going?"

"Shelly's."

"Mrs. Cope?"

"Yup."

"Why the fuck for?...I'm not discussing my problems with Mrs. Cope."

"Why the fuck not Eddie?"

"Because….she's a girl…she's my employee…she's…"

"She'a a hell of a smart woman that _**gets**_ things Edward. Has she not been like a mother to you?"

"Yes."

"Has she not made sure everything is ready at all times of the day….for all of us?"

"Yes..but that's her…"

"You don't pay her enough for what she does Edward. She goes far beyond the scope of assistant. Listen to me…..once you talk things over with her, she will give you insight…trust me…Call Rose and ask her if you don't believe….."

I sat there begrudgingly. I didn't want Mrs. Cope to know what was going on…._Hell!...this is like going to the principal's office…or worse…the guidance counselor. I don't need a friggin' shrink….Fuckity Fuck._

"Get out of your head Ed…" Emmett burst out laughing at his rhyme and continued. "It's dangerous in there."

Emmett parked the car at Mrs. Cope's and bounded up the walk to her door.

Shelly Cope had a house that was an interior decorator's wet dream. It was like a god damn doll house with the trim and the structure. A Victorian set out in the country with horses and a pristine barn that held a floor you could eat off of. It was like Hansel and Gretel had found the motherload and by-passed the evil witch.

She sat us down in the living room and brought out coffee and sandwiches. "Edward, I'm glad you came. I didn't think Emmett would be able to get you here."

"Oh..ya…Shelley….you can pay up when we leave."

"Whatever Emmett." She shook her head at him and rolled her eyes.

"Edward, I've been worried about you."

"Why?"

"Because any fool can see the change in you over the last few weeks. Your smile is brighter, your eyes shimmer and you have a spring in your step. Only two things do that to a man. Winning the lottery…..or falling in love."

I sat there in awe.

"By the looks of it, there is a little bit of trouble in paradise this morning. Am I right?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, not wanting to answer this. I just wanted Bella back and things to be okay.

"Well now….I do believe I hit the _**hot button.**_"

"Yes you did Mrs. Cope. It's awkward for me to discuss these things with you….."

"I'm not going to ask what kind of dildo you use on your love Edward. Just some other things to help you see that you can fix whatever problem you have ….. with a bit of communication."

She grinned at me, my face a shade of red that has yet to be named by Crayola.

"SHELLY…OH MY GOD…." Emmett's booming voice broke our conversation. "Did you see that?" Emmett had tuned us out and was watching the documentary on the tube.

"Yes I did Emmett, but it's re-run. Haven't you ever heard about Joseph Merrick?"

"Nope." He popped his _**p**_, eyes still on the TV.

"Well, kiddo…watch it, and learn something today. Edward, bring your sandwich and let's go to the kitchen where we can talk." Mrs. Cope got up and started to leave the room.

"HA!..shows what you know Shelly…his name is John Merrick, not Joseph."

"You wanna put your money where your mouth is smart ass?" Mrs. Cope was full of piss and vinegar today, and it made me wonder what I was in store for.

Emmett grinned, dimples showing and eyes conniving. "Yeah I do. Ten says I'm right."

"Okay then, idiot. You keep watching and we'll see who comes out ahead here. I'll also bet that Elephantitis isn't the true name of his disease. It's Elephantiasis."

"You're on…double or nothing."

"Whatever you say Emmett." Mrs. Cope walked away smirking to herself.

I took a seat at the kitchen table and faced Mrs. Cope.

"Okay Edward. Spill it. Every last detail except the young couple sex part. Tell me what's wrong. What happened."

I looked at her, embarrassed. "I don't know…um…shit…where to ….well fuck..oops..sorry…it's just.."

"Just let it out boy. Start at the beginning of the problem and we'll work our way around."

Something about the way she looked at me made my mouth want to just open. Once I started, I couldn't stop and I told her all of it….my original plan, meeting Bella, that damn cat, my ex and the damn cat….Bella being wonderful…my new plan…all of it..and then what happened the last two days.

By the time I was finished, I was spent. Totally exhausted. Mrs. Cope let me sit for a moment and puttered around in her kitchen. She slid a piece of cake toward me and I looked up at her confused.

"Rose got the recipe from Bella. It's rather good if I do say so myself, and totally appropriate given what we are going to discuss."

Chocolate Caramel Cake. I almost cried seeing it. Mrs. Cope set a glass of milk beside the plate and smiled at me. "Go on now Edward…eat it and relax a minute…..and just listen okay?"

I could only nod and slump down in my chair, looking like a boy who'd lost his puppy.

"Tough times bring a couple closer together….or tear them apart. It is the tough times that define a couple. Bella's leaving may have had something to do with you, or it may not. She may have a lot of things weighing on her mind and needed the time away to sort them out. You do not have to let this define who _**you are**_ though Edward. Just because she _**ran**_ so to speak, doesn't mean she's _**running.**_"

She looked at me and took a bite of her own cake letting the words sink in. "Listen Edward…in everyone's life a little shit must drop. Are you going to shovel it in the compost pile and move on….or let it sit, thereby collecting stink?"

" I wanna shovel Mrs. Cope."

"Okay then….shovel the shit and move on. When Bella comes home, and I guarantee you she will, then you be waiting for her. Ready to talk, and apologize for being rude right off the bat. Doesn't matter that you didn't really meant it. She needs to hear you're sorry too."

"You will talk it out…all of it Edward. All that frightens you about being in a relationship with her, her running, the damn cat…all of it. Get it all out in the open and then move on. Either together or apart, but don't let this shit in your life fester and grow. You get me?"

"Yes I do Mrs. Cope. I'm worried…no scared shitless actually that she will come back and push me away."

"You won't know until you confront the issue though right?"

"Yup. Damn this sucks."

"Ah…nothing in life worth having comes easily Edward. This you know. There must be sucky periods."

"Thank you Mrs. Cope for helping me see better today….and for lunch….and this cake."

"You're welcome Edward. You've taken care of me and made sure I always had a place, it's the least I can do for you. I don't have any children of my own, and you and Emmett are like surrogate kids to me."

Mrs. Cope grabbed both of our empty plates and stood up. "Finish your milk kid, it helps with courage." She smiled and walked toward the sink, leaving me to my thoughts.

"HAY…HAY….Shelly….they've said NOTHING about Elephant-whatever-the-hell-it-was-itis."

"Yes Em, but they did clear up the name thing didn't they….."

"Shit..you caught that?"

"Re-run Em."

"Oh…well, okay..we're even then right?"

"Not after you Google Elephantitis."

"Shit."

I went back to collect my loser brother and go home. I had to wait for Bella to come home, and I had to prepare.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

Noon….no Bella.

2 pm….no Bella.

3:30 pm….no Bella.

I sat in front of her door, all the earlier confidence I had gone. The cat curled up to me and began eating my phone. I didn't care. Bella wasn't answering my texts, nor my calls. It was a useless piece of equipment.

I heard a giggle and my head raised automatically. _Oh God…Bella. Thank you God._

"Edward." I jumped up, wary of what she was going to say. I wanted to fix it before she decided she needed to be single.

"I'm sorry I ran….." I didn't even hear the rest before I grabbed Bella and just hung on. _She's here…she's here…._

Emotions overtook me and I kissed her deeply, wanting everything to just be ok.

"I love you…" Bella had tears in her eyes.

I looked into those eyes searching for truth. Past the beauty, I saw it. Fear of her own….longing…and love.

"Don't ever run from me again." I couldn't cope if she did. This was it for me….her…and if she left like this again I wouldn't survive.

I lead her to my apartment, the cat still eating my cell phone on the floor. I know we have to talk….about everything, but I just need to feel her close to me first. Bella willingly comes with me to our bedroom…._**our bedroom.**_ If this all works out, and I think it will….we are moving..so we never have to sleep…or be apart again.

**A/N**

**Awww….Edward was a hurtin' too. Mrs. Cope is a friggin smart lady I must say…Emmett should quit betting with her.**

**OK….**

**Chocolate Caramel Cake:**

**INGREDIENTS:**

1 package chocolate cake mix, plus ingredients to prepare, use applesauce for the oil and one cup caramel topping.  
>2 bottles caramel topping (most of the first will go into the cake batter.)<br>1 cup roasted pecans

**DIRECTIONS:**

Prepare two layer cake according to package directions. (Round cake pans work the best)

While cake is still warm and after you turn them out to cool, use a small wooden spoon handle to poke holes in the two cake layers. Pour ½ of remaining caramel sauce into holes using ¼ on each layer. Let layers fully cool. Put Whip Cream on first layer, just enough to give a good coating, top with second cake layer. Pour rest of caramel on top layer and spread with rest of Whip Cream. Sprinkle with pecans.

**So…there we have it…and Edward and Bella do have a lot of talking ahead of them…but I think they will be just fine. Lemon's in your court ATS..and I'll help you out with that m'kay?...**

**Your word is:**

_**Shower-gel**_

**Biggy hugs and kisses schmoopiebear!**

**MW2**


	27. Chapter 27

**Okay people, this chapter took me forever to post...well, because...um...it's um...**

_**Covers face.**_

**Have mercy on me.**

**MW2, you passed me the lemon, it's your fault. _Oh god._**

**Chapter 27 – Shower Gel**

**Bella**

Snuggled deep into the blankets of Edward's bed and wrapped up in the warmth of his arms, I smile as thoughts of last night loop over and over again in my mind...

_After carrying me through his apartment, like a man on a mission, Edward kicked open the bedroom door and didn't stop until he hit the bed. We fell on top of the sheets and then it was a desperate race to get each other's clothes off. Edward ripped the button of my jeans off before he tore them down my legs, my underwear along with them. _

_I pulled on his t-shirt, forcing Edward to stop his ascent up my legs. Shirtless, he continued his way up my body, undoing his jeans and discarding them violently. I could hear the bedside lamp crash to the floor. Before I could process that any further though, my legs were spread roughly to the sides as Edward's face, mouth and tongue devoured me. _

_I recall panting and whining with desperate need. Edward's hands were behind me, under my ass...pulling me to his mouth along with the rhythm I was already creating with my hips. One finger, then two, along with Edward's talented toungue, sent me soaring over the edge and I screamed in my release. _

_Before I could calm, Edward's hands worked their way up to my shirt and he swiftly pulled it off of me, wiping his face on it, and throwing it to the floor. No sooner than my bra was ripped from my chest, Edward's mouth was attached to my breasts...kneeding and sucking. I was so gone. Abruptly his mouth left my nipple and his hands were in my hair, holding my head as he kissed me...no, devoured my mouth. I could taste myself on him. Edward pulled back to look into my eyes, then he hitched my leg up , I could feel as he settled between my legs and his cock aligned with me. Without taking his eyes from mine, he pushed forcefully into me. I cried in pleasure as he filled me. Edward simply closed his eyes and moaned as he entered me repeatedly, fast and hard. "Don't leave me...don't leave me..." He chanted. "I love you...so much...ahhh...Bella...don't...leave...me..."_

I moan softly as the memory continues. My mind is refusing to wake, my body has other plans though. I push back into Edward and can feel him hard and ready behind me.

"Mmmm...pretty girl...wake up.."

I roll my hips and arch my back, pressing into his erection again and again. Edward holds onto my hips, pulling me along with the movement.

"Mmm Edward." I whisper as I take his hand and place it on my wet and ready pussy. Lifting my leg to hook it back and over his leg, spreading myself wider for him. Edward puts his face into my hair, I can feel his breath warm on my neck as he pushes his fingers through me, into me...all around, deliciously.

"Please...need you..." I manage to say as Edward continues playing me with his fingers.

Removing his hand, Edward maneuvers himself into position, and sinks into me from behind. Unlike last night, Edward is going slower. I can feel as he leans back and begins moving at a regular pace, I imagine him watching himself entering me. The thought of it brings me closer to my release, I can feel it coiling under the surface.

"Oh god...mmm... Edward...so close...so good..."

Edward pulls himself out and flips me over.

"I want you on top of me...I want to see you...uhhh...pretty girl..."

I straddle his body and without hesitation, sink down onto him.

"Ahhh, so good...so beautiful...love you..."

He watches my face for a moment before looking down to where my hips are swiveling...to where we are connected. The sight must be too much for him to take because he closes his eyes and scrunches his face as if in pain, but really he's in ecstasy.

"Oh god...Bella...can't hold it...come with me baby..." He says as his hand travels down to my clit and begins rubbing.

"Oh god...oh...Edward...that's it...oh god!"

I am now leaning over him and he takes full advantage, sucking my nipple into his mouth. Edward's mouth, hands and body working simultaneously send me right over the edge.

We both climax at the same time; me squeezing, him pulsing...both of us moaning in pleasure. It is like nothing I have ever experienced. I start to see stars and my ears are ringing...I am going to pass out. I lay down on Edward's chest and close my eyes.

"I love you...oh god...I think I'm dying..."

Edward is smoothing my hair from my face, concern evident.

"What? Are you okay?" He chuckles.

"Death by orgasm." I breath out.

Edward is hugging me to his body. "What a way to go."

"I'll say." I pepper kisses up his chest and to his neck.

"That was...uhhh...that was amazing."

"I agree...can we do that every morning? I think I like waking up like that."

"You _think_?" He chuckles again.

"I _know_." I laugh.

"Ahhh, okay then, I'm happy to oblige." He says as he kisses the top of my head.

"Seriously. I would totally cut out my morning run for _that_. It's a way more...satisfying workout."

Edward's laughter shakes my head as it rests on his chest.. "Ooooh please stop, no movement...uuuhhh..."

"Sorry baby, are you sure you're okay."

"I'll be okay, just hold me. Don't let me go." I say as I snuggle into him further.

"Never." Edward breaths into my hair.

We roll to our sides and just stare at each other, still embracing. Edward is pushing strands of hair behind my ears and the gentle feel of his fingers lulls me. I doze off.

"Bella." Edward gently shakes me awake. "Pretty girl, we have to get up."

"Mmm, noooo!" I whine.

Edward sighs. "Work, Bella. You have to get ready for work."

My head pops up instantly and I squint at the clock. "Oh shit! Edward, it's 7:30, I'm going to be late for work." I start to get up.

"You still have some of my shower gel in the bathroom right? I'll just take my shower here and then..."I'm rushing around looking for something, I don't know what...my phone? My purse?

"Where the hell did I drop my purse, shit!"

Edward hasn't responded to me and is completely silent, I turn to look at him and his expression is very peculiar...almost defeated. After all of the great sex we just had, that is the last thing I'd hope to see.

"Edward? What is wrong?" I'm starting to panic, was I wrong about everything?

I watch as he puts his hand in his hair and tugs.

_Shit, this can't be good. No, no, no..._

"Bella, I have something to tell you...you probably won't be too happy about it."

And that's when I run to the bathroom and lock the door behind me.

**A/N**

***Hiding, red faced, in the corner of shame* **

**I can't believe I just wrote that smut! What's happening to me? *Covers face***

**MW2 made me do it!**

**Word Prompt for MW2:**

"**Shame"**


	28. Chapter 28

***Stands and claps hands* Bravo ATS..YOU DID IT….and it was friggin hawt. You did it…let your freak flag fly and I lub you for it….Well done!**

**You guys **_**know**_** what Edward has to tell Bella…..will she be uber ticked?...or just slightly ticked and then forgive?...hmmm…Let's see shall we?**

**SM still owns Twilight lock, stock and barrel….we own tween us 6 kids, two husbands and two dogs….and a pair of magical silver balls. (Maybe after that lemon…..ATS's hubs will buy her a pair…..)**

**Chapter 28 – Shame **

**Edward**

_Shit….SHIT!..she just fucking ran again…damn-it_. I told Bella I had something to tell her and she wouldn't like it….and she ran…to the bathroom and locked the God Damn door.

"Bella, c'mon….baby, open up the door. It's not life threatening or anything, but I've got to tell you what I have to tell you, so you will know that I told you before you go to work. Please open the door and let me tell you." I paced outside the door, waiting for her to open it so I could reveal the shitty events of Saturday night.

I hear the door lock click and slowly it opens, Bella peeks around it and looks at me confused. "What the hell did you just say?"

"I said…I need to tell you what I have to tell…."

"I know what you said Edward, I just can't believe you said it like that. Should I be frightened?"

"No, but I will be after I tell you." I stood there in shame, my head down and lower lip jutted out.

Pretty girl opened the door and let me in. She stepped back in the shower and started to wash. "Say it Edward. Say it out-loud."

"IpunchedJasperSaturdaynight."

"What?"

"IpunchedJasperSaturdaynight."

"Funny, it sounded like you said you punched Jasper Saturday night."

"I did." I squeezed my eyes shut waiting….waiting…waiting. One eye involuntarily peeked open, trying to see the projectile she would throw.

"The hell you say?" Bella's tone was rising, and I knew it was only a matter of time. I just hoped I could take my licking and survive.

"That's my line Bella."

"Don't fuck with me right now. Explain yourself Edward…and fast."

"Em and I were at the bar, because I was feeling shitty because you left and I got pissy with you and so he took me out to the bar. We were minding our own business when I spied Jasper and Alice….."

"Wait a minute…how do you know Alice?"

"I'll explain..now please let me before I lose my nerve. So, I spied them sitting there, and the fucker gave me a smarmy look." _You are a fucking liar boy….he didn't even see you coming._

"So, I got up to go see what the hell his problem was, and he sneered at me."

I paused, seeing what she would do. Would she call me out on my fib? It was only a little fib. Minute actually…miniscule….shouldn't even count.

"So Edward, let's see if I've got this right so far. You and Emmett went out, you were minding your own business, you looked over and surprise-surprise who should not only be there, but giving you a smarmy look."

"Yup. Right so far."

"Do continue then." She raised her eyebrows at me, and it made me feel like I was six years old and I broke the neighbors window with a rock. _Shit….this isn't gonna end well….I can just feel it._

"So I ask him what his problem is. I told him you were great, and he made you leave." I nodded for effect.

"Say wha?"

"I told him he pushed you too far and you left and that he needs to back off and leave you the hell alone."

"Why….you…did… and the…come again?"

"He doesn't like me because of Josie. I told you about Josie, his sister. For some reason, he believes that I treated her poorly and I never even dated her….or talked with her…or fucked her…or sat by her…or.."

"Back up the bus Barney, before you fife it up. Slow down and …just…shit." Bella shut off the water and pulled the curtain back all the way. I handed her a towel and she sat down…right there in the tub, clenching the towel. _So not good buddy…._

"OKAY….." I was getting flustered and it was getting farther and farther away from the truth. This wouldn't go over well if I didn't just get it out. "Jasper and Alice were at the bar that Emmett and I happened to be at. I saw him over there, and had a few beers in me. I went over and yelled at him that he was butting his nose in your personal business and making it hard on you professionally." I took a deep breath and went on, verbal vomiting without a bucket.

"He then said that you needed to focus on your work, not your personal life….and then I said he had no right, that his bullshit made you leave, and then he said that you needed to work, not date."

One more breath…close to the end I was, and I had to get it out.

"So then I said, it's me isn't it…and then he said he wouldn't be opposed to you dating, just not me. So I punched him…hard…several times…he has two black eyes I bet."

Bella just sat there, clenching the towel and staring off into space. She was scaring me, this no talk stuff with the stare.

"Edward, I need to get dressed and go into work. It would be best if you gave me a wide berth right now…like scatter before I lose it and go postal on your ass. Can you do that for me?"

She had a weird look in her eye and I just nodded like the little boy condemned to no toys. "Then Edward, scatter means now…like…right now…I'll give you to the count of three."

I knew all hell was about to break loose by the odd tone in her voice, and the tick in her cheek…like her neck and lips were working in tandem, having spasms of their own free will. I couldn't get out of that bathroom fast enough and I scrambled, tripping on my own fucking feet as I ran to the living room.

Bella left that morning with a promise that she wasn't leaving my ass, but she needed time to work through what I had told her. For that I was glad. Any punishment would be worth it to me for my fuck up if it meant she wouldn't run. I needed her, more than I've ever needed anyone, or thing.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

My phone rang at 12:15 p.m. and I didn't recognize the number. "Hello?"

"Edward, its Alice."

"Oh…what can I do for you Alice?"

"You need to get down here now please."

"Why?...is Bella hurt?"

"No, not at all, Jasper and I came in about ten minutes ago though, and she cornered him in the hall, pushing Jasper toward his office. She shut the door Edward. I'm afraid if you don't come down and bust up the not so happy reunion, He's gonna end up with more than two black eyes."

"Oh shit….." I secretly grinned though, Bella was madder at him than me…_OH THANK YOU GOD…. _"I'm on my way Alice. I'll be there in ten."

Jasper had two black eyes...I chuckled as I thought about it. _Serves him right the bastard. _I managed to drive through traffic easily and parked at the paper's building in just about ten minutes.

As I opened the main office doors I could hear Bella's muffled yells and Jasper's pathetic ones. Most of the time though, it was Bella's voice and when she got riled, you could hear it clear across the office….the whole office…like the whole floor …all of it…they all heard.

"You sorry ass son of a bitch" _That's my girl…go get him…._

"How dare you even presume to try to tell me who I can and cannot date. You are not my father, and I am an adult. You slimy little piece of shit…I don't know why I even went above and beyond here trying to prove myself. The job pays far less than I deserve, you work me to the bone, and your praise is only when I let the paper be my life. News flash buddy, I've got a life outside this office. It has a man in it. A sexy, well endowed man who rocks my world. You know what you little cocksucker….?"

"Bella…calm down, we can discuss this like…"

"Shut the fuck up and listen, that's what you're gonna do…sit your ass back down Jasper."

Shit, she was reaming him two new assholes, and the office was tuned in…every last one of them, eating their lunch and watching the fight or Bella have her say. Jasper didn't have much fight in him.

"Alice, should I interrupt…or do you think we should let Bella go a little longer?" I was grinning ear to fucking ear. Pretty girl finally stood up for herself…and man it was GLORIOUS to hear.

"I think a little bit longer Edward. She is saying things that needed to be said for quite some time. The girl deserves much more than scrambling because Jasper said _**boo**_. She's under appreciated and over worked…and quite frankly, Jasper can be an asshole unless you stand up for yourself."

"So this is how it's going to go now Jasper…you still with me?"

"Bella…let me …"

"Nope dilrod…I will talk, you will listen. Period. So, I'm going come here and do my job. I will do it well….and you will pay me to do said job. I will not be staying longer than necessary unless it's an emergency. You will not say one word about Edward and I…and your sister Josie is a nutjob…concentrate on her not me. When promotion time comes, you will not pass me over for some dumbfuck who doesn't even know what typesetting is. When I deserve a raise because of the work I've done, you will give it to me. When it's my lunch…it will be precisely that, _**my lunch**_…not yours, nor will I go fetch you anything. Get your own damn coffee and bagel. My time is my own. Stay out of my personal life and work on your own. Are we perfectly clear Jasper?"

"Yes."

"Fine then, have a good day. I'm taking the rest of today off, I've got a few sick days built up and I'm using one of them. You will find the articles you needed from me on the top of my desk, done well before the deadline. I will see you tomorrow, and hopefully…you will remember our conversation."

With that, Bella slammed open Jasper's door and stormed out of there, coming toward her desk…and us…. _Shit..hide..oh shit..fuckityfuckshit…hide…where to fucking hide?_

"Oh shit Alice…we've got to hide…."

"Naw…she's just picking up steam. Watch her now, I could have predicted this. It was only a matter of time Edward. The girl has come into her own." Alice smiled and watched Bella walk toward us.

"Edward…what part of _**scatter**_ didn't you understand?" Bella calmly said as she walked around me to sit at her desk. "I don't need you to come and clean up my mess. I can stand up for myself like a big girl thank you." She retrieved her purse and coat and stood up to leave.

I just stood there mesmerized…totally in awe. She was a fire breathing sexy ass minx, and I was so fucking glad she decided to keep me.

"What …you people never saw a woman go off on her boss before? Show's over folks, go back to work." Bella huffed and left the office. _HEY…wait for me...please?_

**A/N…Piss and Vinegar are Bella's drink of choice today. Well done Bella. Hopefully Jasper's pants weren't too uncomfortable after the shit and piss he did with Bella in his office…..HAHAHAHAHA….**

**Ok…Wonder if she's gonna manhandle Edward now? Sometimes, when you let loose your inner bitch, it takes on a life of it's own and you try to fix every wrong ever done to you. I hope she takes a break before she moves onto ….oh…Emmett perhaps?..oh shit..the boy has no clue what's in store for him the next time they meet.**

**ATS….your word is:**

_**Bouquet **_**and it comes with a hint….look up Borage….White Daffodils and Forget Me Nots and see what you get….**

**Love and more schmoopie bear kisses,**

**MW2**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hello all! Sorry this took me so long to get to you, RL had me shackled. So, with this chapter we are starting to wrap things up. It really has been fun writing this Funny Little Thing and I appreciate all of you who have been reading and reviewing. **

**Disclaimer: It is all Stephenie Meyer's, just playing around here.**

**This is unbeta'd...just a reminder.**

**Chapter 29 – Bouquet**

**Bella**

I couldn't stay mad at Edward for too long. Sure, he should have told me sooner about his connection to my boss, and he shouldn't have punched Jasper, but the fact that he stood up for me really means a lot. I decide not to let him sweat it for too long.

The walk to the elevator calms me a little and when I stop at the doors, I turn to see if Edward is following.

_He is._

We enter the car together in silence, but I can feel his eyes on me. When I turn to look at him he turns away and looks down in shame.

I sigh. "Edward, it's okay. I'm not mad at you..."

Before I can even say another word, Edward has me in his arms and is squeezing the hell out of me.

"Okay...can't breathe..." I grunt out.

Edward sets me back on the floor, takes my face in his hands and kisses me forcefully before saying,

"I'm so sorry, baby. I know you can handle things on your own, you are one strong woman, but you are _my_ woman and I couldn't let that bastard manipulate you. I understand that Jasper thinks the worst of me, but he was wrong to try and control your life. In fact, you could totally sue his ass..."

I stop him. "No, Edward. It's over, I've said my peace. I just want to put it behind me now."

"I know, baby. I just hope you know how sorry I am."

I smile at him and smooth my hands over his face. "I know and I forgive you..._but _know this_,_ if you ever go behind my back again and try to fix my shit, I will kick your ass. Got it?"

Edward smiles deviously. "I think I might enjoy a little ass kicking" He's running his hands over my ass. "...love the rough stuff, baby."

I smack his shoulder. "I'm serious!"

"Oww...okay, okay I get it." He puts his hands up in surrender." From now on I will be totally upfront and I'll let you fight your own battles."

"Good. Now take me somewhere to eat, I'm starving. Someone really wore me out last night and I haven't been properly fed."

"This morning too, don't forget about this morning." Edward says as he pulls me in for another hug and moans softly into my hair.

"Mmm...I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, pretty girl."

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

The rest of November flew by and before we knew it, Christmas came and went, now it's almost February. This was the first year in a long time that I wasn't alone for the holidays. It was such a wonderful feeling, I reflect on those days often.

I smile to myself as the memories of waking up to Edward on Christmas morning sneak into my head...

_Edward kissing his way up my naked body...his fingers inching up to my... _

I have to shake my head, if I start thinking about _that_, I will never get myself ready in time. Edward will sense my mood and we'll be rolling around in the sheets, or in the shower...or on the counter...

_You get the idea._

Edward is insatiable and I am all to willing to give in, he is afterall sexy as hell. We just can't get enough of each other.

I continue on with my thoughts as I straighten my hair, steering them away from getting naked with Edward and more towards the other good things that have come into my life in the last couple months.

Not only do I have Edward to snuggle up to every night, but I've acquired a couple of best friends too it would seem.

Rosalie and I have become very close; she forced herself into my life and, at the time, I was seriously annoyed, but now I can see that it was all for the best. Sometimes that's what it takes to get through to someone, being forceful. Rose didn't really give me a choice in the matter, I was going to be her friend come hell or high water... she decided it. I can be one stubborn, untrusting bitch.

_Don't we all know it. _

Rose was able to see through my facade though and forced me to see that I really can trust again. It's nice to have someone to "girl talk" with. Especially now that I am in a strong, committed relationship. I'm finding that there is so much I didn't know, I am still young afterall. I think Rose really gets a kick out of shocking me. I guess if you've been with someone as long as she and Emmett have, you are always trying to find ways of keeping things exciting. Rose and Emmett _clearly _don't have any problems in that department. They are kinky as hell and let's just say this, Edward really appreciates all of Rose's shared wisdom...he's certainly reaping the benefits afterall.

Edward and I have started having dinner with Rose and Emmett once a week. It's been really nice. Sure, Emmett can be a lot to take, but I think I'm really starting to warm up to him. He's just a big, loud, happy Teddy bear...like the big brother I always wanted. It's nice to think about a future with, not only Edward, but with his family too. I feel like I finally belong somewhere...that I matter to people. All of these years I've been running from something, now it finally feels like I'm running toward something instead.

Then there's Dingleberry. As much as Edward and I have tried, he just doesn't seem to stick around for very long. I put fresh food and water out every night for him, some mornings I see that the food has been eaten, other days it is left untouched. We don't know if he already has a home or if he is just a stray. I just know that I worry about him. When I think back to all of the times we've run into that little fucker, I have to smile. I know that it's impossible, but I can't help but wonder if Dingleberry had his own little agenda. Is he cupid, our guardian angel? I have to laugh at the ridiculousness of that thought, but considering all that he has done for us, one has to wonder.

A few days after the incident with Jasper, at Eclipse, I decided that maybe it wasn't the right place for me to work anymore. I just couldn't see how it would ever feel comfortable being in the same office as Jasper again. I couldn't let go of the hard feelings and it was obvious that Jasper would never believe Edward's side of the "Josie Story." I commend him for his loyalty to family, but I just couldn't work with someone who could believe something so horrible about the man that I love. I went in that following Wednesday with my letter of resignation and parted ways with Eclipse. Jasper was disappointed, sure, but he understood my dilemma. I was promised a glowing letter of recommendation, which Jasper actually came through on because I have a second interview with the Seattle Times next week. Alice and I are still in touch, I don't think she would have it any other way. We are having lunch next week.

"Bella, you just about ready? Rose and Em will be here any minute to pick us up and our reservations are at 7."

Edward has been patiently waiting for me out on the sofa, it has to be killing him. I was forced to kick him out of the bedroom earlier, because he wouldn't keep his hands off of me. It took every ounce of my will power to make him leave the bathroom, after he lifted my skirt and pushed me up against the vanity. I hated to waste the beautiful thing that is Edward's erection, but we really did need to get going if we were going to make our reservations. Besides, we'd pick up where we left off when we get home later, that much is true.

"Yeah, I'll be right there!"

I take one final look at myself in the mirror and smile.

_Edward loves me in blue. _

I smooth out some stray hairs, then flip the switch and turn to leave the room. I stumble a little from turning so fast and start to feel just a little dizzy. After closing my eyes to compose myself, I head on out of the bedroom.

Edward stares at me in awe when I enter the living room. It takes him a few minutes before he can compose himself enough to stand. Reaching to his side, Edward picks up a beautiful bouquet of flowers and stands.

"I still can't get over how absolutely stunning you are, you're positively glowing." He sighs."I am such a lucky man."

I am blushing and looking at the floor. I can feel as his finger gently runs over my cheek.

"Beautiful" He breathes and I smile in total adoration.

_I love this man so much._

Edward hands me the most beautiful bouquet I have ever seen; it's an arrangement of white, purple, blue and pink blooms and is absolutely stunning.

"I admire your strength." Edward says as he points to the petals of a purple flower. "I respect you more than you'll ever know." He says as he gently grabs the petal of the white dafodil. "I love you with all of my heart." He says as he strokes a little blue flower, I think it's a 'Forget Me Not'.

I can do nothing but gaze at his beautiful face.

_What an amazing man, I am the lucky one._

"I love you too. So much." I say as I lean in and kiss him.

"Thank you for the flowers."

After putting the bouquet into a vase of water, Edward helps me into my coat. I grab my purse and then we are heading out the doot to meet Rose and Em.

As we are walking down the hall, I see something that makes me smile.

_Dingleberry._

It has been a while and I am very relieved to see that he is okay. Although he looks healthy and well though, Dingleberry is pacing back and forth in front of the stairs.

"What do you think is wrong with him now?" Edward asks.

"I don't know, but we are going to be late if we stick around and try to find out. You might have to move his furry little ass."

Edward agrees and bends over to pick the cat up and move him to the side so we can get down the stairs.

"By little guy." I say as we start going down.

Dingleberry just looks at me and starts meowing. A second later he is following us.

**A/N**

**What is going on with Dingleman? Nothing bad is going to happen, I hope. MW2, what say you?**

**Word Prompt:**

"**Squishy."**

**It's a funny little word.**


	30. Chapter 30

**So here we are…..at the end….ceptin' for the Epilogue. This has been a most excellent adventure ATS…I'm looking forward to our next one already.**

**What does this chapter hold? Well, it's long ass for one thing….and it's the last chapter *sheds a little tear*….so without further ado, read on friends.**

**ATS…my bestest writing buddy….this has been a hoot.**

**Thank you to all who read, reviewed and spread the word about our little experiment here.**

**SM owns it all….still.**

**Chapter 30 – squishy**

**Edward**

Dingleberry followed us down the steps, out the front door and halfway down the sidewalk, before he made a screeching sound and tapped his front paw on the sidewalk. The screeching made us turn around, and the tapping was an added extra.

"Edward, what is that cat's problem?" Bella seemed worried about the fur ball and started walking back toward it. Dingleberry sat up to his full height, and nodded his head at her. _I wonder who the fuck that cat was in a previous life._

"What's the matter boy?" Bella bent down slightly and patted the cat's head. She swayed a little bit, and I hurried to catch her before she toppled over.

"Pretty girl, your equilibrium is off more than normal today."

"I know….odd."

Fur ball looked at us both and turned around, walking back the way he came. Bella and I looked at each other and then again at the cat, who had stopped by this point and flicked his tail….still watching us.

"Edward, this is crazy, but I think Dingleberry wants us to follow him." Bella seemed confused, and as I helped her up, the cat meowed loudly and pranced where he stood…..still looking at us.

"Nothing about that mangy cat surprises me Bella. Let's see what he wants, then we can just meet Rose and Em at the restaurant." I called Em to let him know the change of plans.

We followed that cat past our building and two houses further down. There on a light pole was a paper with a picture on it.

Dingleberry stopped in front of it, stretching on his hind legs like he wanted to reach the paper. I obliged him, even though it made no sense, and took the paper down. Squatting down to show him the paper, the cat tapped it with his front paw, then tapped me on the arm.

"Did you just see that shit?" Edward's eyes were bulging and Bella stood there stunned.

"Yes I did. What do you think it means?" Bella felt like this was an episode of "Punk'd" and Rose and Em were going to come out of the bushes at any moment.

"I don't know Pretty girl." Edward picked up the paper and looked at it closely under the street lamp. "Bella, this is a house for sale. It's on Nob Hill." Edward looked again at the house in the picture and it looked vaguely familiar to him.

"Nob Hill? That's a ritzy section Edward. What is a realtor ad doing on a light post here?" Bella frowned, trying to think of any explaination.

"I know as much as you Bella, but let's take this with us….this house is familiar to me and I can't remember why."

They took one last look at Dingleberry, who was now sitting back, relaxed and comfortable, tail slightly twitching side to side. "Night fur ball. Keep yourself warm."

_**A very happy orange fur ball named Dingleberry sat back and purred, his job for tonight done.**_

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

Dinner with Em and Rose went over well, and Bella only had to call him out twice during desert for his crass behavior. This was a good evening. Bella had come accustomed to Emmett's mental mind fuck games and turned the tables on him. She was becoming an expert at surprise attacks that left him speechless. It was priceless to watch, and I enjoyed it more each time they verbally sparred.

I pulled the car keys out of my coat and the paper we had taken earlier fell out and onto the floor.

"What's this bro?" Emmett bent over to pick it up.

"That's a house for sale Emmett."

"I can see that dipshit. Where did you get it?...Nob Hill?...Hey….that house looks…" Emmett stopped talking and stared at the picture. "Where have we seen that before Edward?"

"I don't know, I can't place it, but I agree. It's familiar."

"Are you going to do anything about it?"

"I'm going to call the realtor tomorrow and see what's up with it." The more I thought about that house, the more I liked it….and the more I liked it, the more it became an obsession to find out more about it.

Rosalie took the paper from Emmett's hands and tilted her head. "I remember this house too Edward."

"You do?" Bella's curiosity was peaked. "What do you remember Rose?"

"I don't know, just that I've seen it before."

"Edward, when you call the realtor tomorrow, can you arrange a time for us to go look? If nothing else, it may answer the question of how you recognize it." Bella had taken the paper from Rosalie and folded it up, putting it in her purse.

We said our good nights and drove back to the apartment, getting ready for bed in record time. Since December, I had been living at Bella's apartment. It was easier for me to move than her, I had less "stuff". I still paid the rent on my apartment, and the lease would be up in about 6 months. I didn't think I'd ever want to share living space with another human, but I was so wrong.

The smell of Bella on my pillow, her body next to mine each night and morning were sublime. The way she cooked breakfast in my t-shirt was more than sexy. Shared showers and sleeping in on Sunday morning were like striking the lottery to me.

I called the realtor the next morning as soon as I knew they were open. He arranged a 6pm showing for us. Excited as a little boy at Christmas, I called Bella right away.

"Pretty girl, I've got a surprise for you."

"What is it?"

"We're going to look at the house tonight. Can you be ready to go by 5:30, so we can meet the realtor before heading over there?"

"I think so. Can we get something to eat as soon as we're done though? I'm going to be starved by the time 6pm rolls around."

"Mexican?"

"Eww…no."

"You love Mexican."

"Not today."

"Italian?"

"Oh yum….I can taste it now…Veriducci's?"

"Your wish is my command." I hung up with Bella and counted the minutes until we could go check out this mystery house.

**~FLT~FLT~FLT~FLT~**

Ron Downing, the realtor, met us at a coffee shop near Nob Hill. We quickly introduced ourselves, and followed him in our car to the house.

Pulling up outside, Bella gasped. "Oh Edward…look!" She was excited and it brought that beautiful smile out on her face.

"What is it pretty girl?" I wanted to see what she was seeing…..exactly like she was seeing it. The house was fucking awesome on the outside. Landscaped perfectly, the gingerbread style reminded one of a fairytale….only on a larger scale. This was no tiny cottage. It was a family home, in a nice neighborhood. When I checked the listing online, it was more than reasonably priced.

"The architecture Edward, it's amazing. That picture last night didn't do it justice."

I smiled at her and agreed. I just hope the inside was as nice as the outside.

Ron met us at the front door and knocked. "The owner is home, and she wanted to meet with you. Seems she remembers you Edward."

"Me?" Now I was really puzzled. "Who is it?"

"Mrs. Gary Landis."

"No…seriously? No wonder this house is familiar. Bella, I helped Mrs. Landis win a case against her nephew. He was trying to drain her bank accounts. He was made custodian in her husband's will, and was running through the money like it was water. He didn't realize Mrs. Landis was smarter than the average person."

Mrs. Landis opened the door and grinned when she saw Edward. "See boy…I told you that you would come here one day and buy my house." She pulled me into a hug. Mrs. Landis could hug superbly. She was all grandma and squishy in just the right places. When you were hugged, you could feel the love behind it.

I chuckled and blushed. Mrs. Landis was always a straight forward person. "Mrs. Landis, it's good to see you again. How have you been?"

"Just fine Edward….and who is this lovely lady beside you?"

"This is my Bella. Mrs. Landis, meet Bella Swan, my everything. Bella…Mrs. Landis."

Mrs. Landis brought Bella in for a hug and then pulled back and looked in her eyes. "She's a keeper Edward, for more than one reason too."

Bella put her head down and giggled, grasping my hand.

"Well, come in..come in and look around, then we'll talk." Mrs. Landis stepped out of the way and Ron proceeded to show us the house.

It was a two story with a fully redone basement. There were 5 bedrooms; three on the first floor, one on the third and one in the basement. The kitchen had been remodeled and Bella was just about to orgasm over the décor.

"Edward, I've always wanted a kitchen like this." She said amazed as she turned a few circles taking it all in.

"Dear, you shouldn't make yourself dizzy like that. It's not good for you." Mrs. Landis looked at Bella with a sparkle in her eye.

Ron moved us onto the master suite. It was more than sufficient, with its own bathroom and another room attached. "The nursery." Ron told us as he walked us through it. The room could easily be converted when a child outgrew the nursery.

The living room and dining room were expansive and from outside, there was no possible way this house was so large, but from inside…..it seemed to just… _**grow**_.

There was a den slash library that would be a perfect home office and the basement had a small movie theater in it with a large screen and recliner chairs.

"This house is perfect Edward. It's like a dream." Bella smiled up at me.

"I agree Bella. Do you like it enough to let me buy it?"

Bella's eyes opened wide. "Now?"

"No not right now….tomorrow perhaps." I chuckled at her puckered pout and eyebrow raise.

"I mean…now…at this point in our life. Is this what you want?"

"If it means having you with me….then yes, this is what I want. That's all that's important to me pretty girl, just you by my side. Are you with me on this?"

Bella giggled and jumped up, clasping her hands around my neck. "Yes. I'm in."

"Dear, you shouldn't jump like that. It isn't good for the baby." Mrs. Landis walked by us on her way to the kitchen. "I'll make you some hot cocoa and we can sit and talk out the particulars."

Bella and I stared at each other. Bella and I stared at Mrs. Landis. Ron stared at all of us. I scratched my head and called out to Mrs. Landis. "Say, Mrs. Landis….um…Bella's not pregnant….well, not yet anyway." I felt myself blush and sat down with Bella at the table by the bay window on the south side of the kitchen.

"Yes she is," was the response I got.

"Um…Mrs. Landis?..." Bella tried this time.

"You may both call me Gladys." She turned and smiled at us, then went back to making the cocoa, humming. "You see, Edward, I knew when you helped me with that rotten nephew of mine, that you would one day buy my house. This place has only seen good people in it, and before I go meet my maker, I want to see you and Bella in this house. It's a special little abode if you will, and only certain people get to reside here."

I stuttered a bit, trying to regain focus. I couldn't figure out if Gladys suffered from dementia of a sort, or if she was naturally _**out there.**_

"Gladys," Bella tried in earnest. "We can't be positive we will buy this house. It's lovely, and I would absolutely adore living here, but we can't commit just yet."

"Oh you will Bella. You will. When I told Edward there a few years ago that he would one day buy my house, I was sure then. I'm just as sure now." Gladys brought us all a mug of steaming cocoa and a tray of cookies. She sat down and took a sip, then said "Just as sure as I am that you are in the family way Bella."

Bella absently rubbed her stomach, deep in thought. _No way…uh uh…there is no way, Bella would have known by now…hell, I would have known by now. What the fuck is going on?_

I kept my mouth shut, despite wanting to argue the finer points of is she or not, and ate my cookie.

After the cocoa and cookies were devoured, and after the paperwork had been gone through with a fine tooth comb by Bella….and after we had signed on the spot, we left, hand in hand and walked back to the car.

"So, you are now a homeowner Bella. What are you going to do first?" I laughed, waiting her answer.

"I'm going to buy a EPT."

"What?" Eyes bulging, I looked at her to make sure I heard right.

"I'm going to buy a pregnancy test Edward. Stop at a drug store before we hit Veriducci's."

"Are you serious?"….. "Bella?"….. "Are you shitting me?...do you think?..."

"I don't know Edward. I've never been pregnant before, but it does make sense given what I've been through the last few weeks."

I about wrecked the car thinking about all this implied. I sped toward the drugstore around the corner from Veriducci's.

We walked toward the isle that housed the tests and I grabbed one. Bella grabbed two others. I looked at her funny. "What? Never can be too safe right?" She laughed back at me.

Bella and I ordered our food _**to go**_ and I drove again like a maniac getting home. Bella wasn't so happy about that either. "Edward, slow down, we will get there. I can't take these tests until tomorrow morning anyway."

"What?... The hell you say?" Shit. No way could I wait until tomorrow to know if she was or not. I needed to see for myself, so as soon as we were in the door, I grabbed the bag from Bella and tore open all three tests to read the instructions.

"Ha…look here Bella….you can do them _**NOW**_…now baby…you can….hurry…go in the bathroom…we gotta find out..you gotta pee…"

Bella grinned at me and just stood there, waiting for my hyper ass to calm down.

"Oh shit..Bella, do you have to pee?" I forgot the most important element. The pee.

" I suppose I could force a dribble or two. Edward, let's be serious for a moment. If I am…pregnant that is….are you ready for this?...I mean….really…truly ready?"

"Are you?"

"Yes. It will be hard adjusting, but I am ready." Always so truthful she was.

" Pretty girl," I said as I hugged her to me, "I am more than….astoundingly….without a doubt ready if you are going to make me a daddy, and I don't want this with anyone but you." Her face lit up hearing those words, and I committed that look to memory. I wanted to see it again.

Bella peed on all three sticks in record time as I dished up our supper. Five minutes….it would take five minutes. We both sat there, nibbling, but not really digging into our supper. Five minutes from now, we may be able to eat, but not right now.

The oven timer buzzed and Bella tipped her chair back as she leapt from it and into the bathroom. She beat me by about two seconds.

I held my breath as she picked up and read each of the sticks. Bella's eyes raised up to meet mine. I was bouncing on the balls of my feet, pulling at my hair and trying to remain calm and supportive no matter what.

Pretty girl winked at me, and handed over the sticks, leaving me standing there as she went back out to the kitchen to eat.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Looking down….I saw one….two…three answers. It took my brain about 2 minutes to coordinate with my mouth and open it.

I ran out to the kitchen and pulled Bella from her chair. "Baby…baby…there's a baby…..in here…." I gently rubbed her tummy, trying to sputter a complete sentence. "My.…mine…yours…baby…in here…." I dropped down to my knees and kissed her abdomen and looked up at her, still too shaken to talk.

Bella ran her hand through my hair, giggling. "Hey wise one, you're right. There's a peanut in here growing." She patted her stomach, pushing my face out of the way.

I could only nod, my voice still not back.

"We have our work cut out for us Edward. You're not going to like me when my ankles are swollen and my face is all pudgy and I'm grumpy. You know there will be cravings, and I will make you do stupid stuff. You really ready for that shit?"

"pudgy…..beautiful…glowing….grumpy…." I have no idea where the fuck my speech went, but I could only nod and sputter a word here and there, trying so desperately to make sure she knew I would cherish every god damn minute of it. "cravings….stuff….ya." I hummed and put my face back in her stomach, kissing it once more. "Marry me….wedding…soon….fast…love you so much….say yes."

"Edward, that was the worst proposal in the history of proposals, and yes, I will marry you….not for the baby either, just because I love you."

Bella sunk down on the floor, sitting on my lap and her arms went around me. "We are lucky Edward. Not many people have a Mrs. Landis in their lives you know."

"I know pretty girl. They don't have a mangy ass orange fur ball either." I kissed her and held her as tears of happiness from both of us mingled together amidst giggles and hugs. _This…this is a totally kick ass plan. I'm glad Mrs. Landis thought of it._

_**Mrs. Landis sat down for the late edition of the newscast in her favorite arm chair. As she reached for her tea, a familiar mangy, orange fur ball jumped up in her lap and settled in for a nap. **_

"_**Leonard, well done. I knew you were a smart cat," she said as she petted the cat's head. Leonard looked up at her and winked. "Next time though, don't take so long….our plane to Florida leaves in two weeks. You cut it rather short this time." **_

_**Leonard looked at her and huffed, then laid his head down. "I wonder what Florida will hold for us kitty." Mrs. Landis took another sip of her tea and smiled, settling further into the chair.**_

**A/N **

**Well, well, well….funny how things work out no? Just an Epilogue left and then onto something else. Hopefully this story was well worth it enough for you to stay tuned!**

**ATS….YOU are a joy to write with, and girl…when your freak flag flys….it flys tall and proud!**

**MW2**


	31. Chapter 31

**Well here we are, at the end of our first story together! **

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are Stephenie Meyers, Dingleberry will forever be ours.**

**xxxooo**

**Epilogue**

**Leonard AKA Dingleberry AKA Mangy Ass Fur Ball**

You know, my life isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, I have a nice warm bed, I get fed on regular intervals and I have a nifty box to shit in, but life as a cat is hard man. People don't pay attention to you unless you hiss, purr or screech. That pansy ass purr takes my man card every damn time.

Humans expect you to eat mice and play with bugs. Quite frankly, I have enough shit to do with my day besides batting around a grasshopper, and mice taste like ass….That's another thing…I do not appreciate your comments on my bathing habits. I'm a clean motherfucker alright? You try walking around with shit stuck to your asshole….see how you like it. Those hairballs I cough up? Well if you'd brush my damn coat more than once a year, I might not have them.

Sorry…I digress. Gladys and I have been in Florida for about ten years now. It's ok. Not as fast paced as Seattle, but there is plenty of work here, which brings me to today. It's raining, so the Grand Dame of Love has settled her fat ass in a chair and I'm presently sitting on her lap, enjoying my afternoon siesta.

I glance up at the mantle and see all the pictures of the couples we've helped. I think far and wide, my favorite is the Cullen's. They were both clueless. Just friggin clueless. A cat shouldn't have to be so interactive to get two people to see the light….Gladys seems to hold them as her favorite too. She still has their card from last Christmas on the fridge. Nice family they have. Cute kids, but his brother..you know..that big dude…yeah, well he is an idiot.

Shit…Gladys shouldn't have ate that sausage for lunch. I'm feeling the effects of it now. Good Lord Woman….if your guts can't handle spicy, quit giving in to it…..she's gonna explode one of these days I just know it.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, the Cullen's. ….Clueless, but definitely nice people. Well, my eyes are getting heavy, so farewell….I'll just settle down in here some more and…I wonder just what the Cullens are up to now a days….hmmm….

**Clear across the country, in a quaint little suburb of Seattle.**

**Bella**

It's a gorgeous day today, a little chilly, but we are out enjoying it regardless. The sun is shining and I am just totally relaxed, laying back against Edward's chest as we sit on a blanket in the grass. I sigh in contentment and can't help but reflect upon the wonderful life that we have created for ourselves.

Edward and I have been happily married for about ten years now. We have two beautiful children, both boys. Charlie and Sam look mostly like Edward, both have the most adorable heads of crazy, reddish brown hair and Sam has the green eyes too. Charlie though, he has deep dark brown eyes like me..._like my father._ Looking into Charlie's eyes, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that my father is still with me.

It's funny how things turn out, isn't it? For instance, who would have thought that I would find the love of my life living in the apartment right next door? At a time when I had all but given up on love, it fell right into my lap. The funny thing is, I probably never would have noticed it had something not forced me to just stop and look around.

There's a quote I read once, "Fate leads the willing and drags along the reluctant." In my life, I've had no choice but to believe those words to be true. Everything happens for a reason, I believe; the breakup that made you question your heart, the evil ex-wife who made you lose faith in yourself, the people who you run into and the funny little things you trip over when trying to run away.

"Mommy, can we keep him?"

"Yeah, pleeeeeaaase momma?"

Edward and I look on as our boys lay in the grass and play with a little kitten that has wandered out of the bushes.._.it's orange._

"I don't know guys, what if he already has a home?" Edward questions.

And in that instance the cat looks at Edward and winks. _I swear it winks._

"Please tell me you just saw that shit?" Edward's eyes are bugging out of his head.

I can't help but laugh.

"Looks like this kitty found himself a home." I say.

And that is exactly what he did.

**THE END**

**A/N**

**I want to thank all of you wonderful people who have been reading, reviewing and cheering us on. This has been so much fun for me and MW2, and we are so glad to know that you enjoyed it too. **

**We'll be seeing you around!**

**Peace out.**

**xxxooo**


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